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{ August 10, 2009 Archives }
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The rabble have spoken

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It looked like I was going to be lynched if I didn't remove the twitter tab from the site, judging from the hate mail I've received lately. But it took the sweet pleas from reader Monique Supercool to get me off my ass to actually do it. Might take a day or two for the change to filter across all pages, but it's gone.

Happy now, you bunch of whiners? Then you can show your appreciation by buying a goddam T Shirt. And I'm banning the first person who asks me to bring it back. I swear

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Memorable Mugshot
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When you are engaged in illegal activities, there's always a chance you could be arrested at any time. Still, no one ever thinks about what they'd look like in a mug shot wearing what they're wearing. I don't know how often Craig Vanderwold wore this particular shirt, or if he has other choices that might be worse, but this is what he was arrested in. Vanderwold is being held on drug and explosives charges in Sacramento. His bail is set at a million dollars. The Smoking Gun has a gallery of more mug shots taken in unfortunate t-shirts.

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Orangutans Make Musical Instruments
monkey_guitar.jpgMonkey News!

DATELINE: BORNEO -- Researchers have found that a group comedically gifted orangutans have fashioned what amounts to a musical instrument.

Says the report:
When in a tight situation, the orangutans will strip the leaves off a twig and make a crude musical instrument to alter the calls they use to ward off predators.

Admittedly, I skimmed the rest of the article, but I think I can summarize it for you. You know, what else, uh ... happened.

It seems that as the scientists proceeded deeper into the jungle they found that some of the apes had hand crafted a pipe organ, drum kit, kazoo and a Gibson Les Paul. The most talented of the primates had formed an all-star band. The name of the group roughly translates to "Last Train to Clarksville." Their first gigs were 3 sold out shows before the Orangutan King. They played a 77 minute set followed by 2 encores that included a cover of the Banana Splits Theme. There is a biding war right now between 7 major labels to sign the band.

It was something like that...

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Listen Up!

My wife always tells me I'm a bad listener. It's the single thing about me she'd change the most if she could. It's due to a combination of things - my failing hearing, my ADD which freakishly combines with my ability to single-mindedly focus on one thing to the exclusion of everything else ("mental blinkers"), plus my complete lack of interest in small talk and idle chit chat. So I feel for her, I really do. I wish i could be a better listener, but at my age, change comes hard. And, you know, when it comes to a spouse from another country, Caveat Emptor.

But I don't think I've ever listened as badly as JD's girlfriend did here. Outstanding. (via my buddy Tad's twitter)

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The Hamptons Weekend Part I: Sensitivity Training
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(This is Part I in a five part series on my trip out to the Hamptons this past weekend.)

My ears are still ringing. My sleep schedule is more confusing than Spencer Pratt's celebrity status. And there's glitter. Lots of teal glitter on almost everything I own. This past weekend, I was taken out to a weekend in the Hamptons courtesy of the fine folks at Axe. Our schedule for the weekend was kept mostly under wraps though we had to sign a waiver and indicate any medical conditions we might suffer from, which had me convinced we were going sky-diving. Thus I came up with predetermined responses as to why I chickened out and/or shit myself should they want to push me out of a plane. (We were kept mostly on the ground for the whole weekend. Oddly, I still needed to use the excuse for shitting myself - more on that later) Considering this weekend cost me approximately zero dollars, I was truly game for anything. Learning Ninja skills? Killing whales? Eating sweet breads? I'd do it all as long as my gag reflex held out. And when we were taken out in the party bus (complete with stripper pole), I knew I had to keep an open mind.
Continue reading "The Hamptons Weekend Part I: Sensitivity Training"...
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Vladimir Putin Sets the Example For Ex-Presidents
Putin Horse.jpgMuch political hay has been made from Bill Cinton's trip to North Korea last week. During his short visit, Bill was able to negotiate the release of 2 American journalists from the clutches of Kim Jong "I Am A Better Golfer Than Tiger Woods" Il.

It was a great story. An inspiring story. I did want to know if Clinton had time to take a spin on Kim Jong's uber-waterslide, though. That wasn't answered. However! During the same week, Russian ex-president/action hero was also involved in a photo-op. Putin led journalists on an adventure holiday in Siberia.

Now we're talking.

This is what our ex-commander in chief's should be doing. Screw the opening of libraries and diplomatic endeavors. Let's have a little adventure, bravado and staged homo-erotic photographs. You gettin' that G.H.W.B.? Grab the chaps and a bullwhip and get to posing. I'm looking at you Carter. Strip down to the jockstrap and pose on the hood of a Lamborghini. While hunting lions with an M-16.

Masculinity...

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"Beautiful Mount Airy Lodge"

If you grew up on the east coast then you don't need to watch this commercial to remember the jingle to this old Pocano Mountain resort.

Well Mount Airy Lodge has reopened once more. Only much different.
The old lodge was so gross and filled with 70s human stink they leveled it and build something new.
It's now called Mount Airy Casino Resort. In place of the heart shaped love tubs and mirrors on the ceiling, you've got a casino, spa and shows starring Sally Struthers and Bobby Rydell.
Classic entertaiment? No, but hopefully some folks are still reliving the "love."

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You Don't See This Every Day


I don't have quite the same taste in music, but you have to admit the guy is really really ace on the bass. Meet Hyunmo Kim, Korean bassist who performs under the name H.J. Freaks, the bass jockey. Find his music and information in English at MySpace.

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The
greatest
pop culture
blog on the
planet.
 
Or
maybe not.


rss feed Breakfast Links Feed

Recent Comments

The Rod Blagojevich Karaoke Train Wreck Hootenanny
Yes, E's Elvis joke was way better than mine.
Johnny Wright

The Rod Blagojevich Karaoke Train Wreck Hootenanny
forgot it... The way she (miss 47 secs) mouths "what the fuck?" made me laugh my
Leonardo Carvalho

The Rod Blagojevich Karaoke Train Wreck Hootenanny
If Elvis was dead he'd be rolling in his grave. [2] Fuck, E. I hate it when I co
Leonardo Carvalho

The Rod Blagojevich Karaoke Train Wreck Hootenanny
You wanna know how you do it? Here's how: they pull a union, you sell a senate
Don't Swayze Bro

The Rod Blagojevich Karaoke Train Wreck Hootenanny
If Elvis was dead he'd be rolling in his grave.
E

More From the Best Job on the Planet
How come I never knew you were buddies with Captain Ron?
Johnny Wright

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