ornate line
The Master Bater X Tee

The Ex-Masterbator shirt. Further proof that you can be proud of to wear anything these days.
And if you fit in this camp, then this is the perfect tee for you to rock.

But only if you've got passion for Christ but not passion for your naughty bits.


It's guaranteed to make God proud. Your wrist will thank you too.
No word yet on the "Ex-Saddlebacker" tee.

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When they pry it from my cold, dead hand

said sparky on February 6, 2009 10:44 AM.

Oh give me a break. Add this shit to my list of why I hate religion.

I have a question for the ass-backwards fucks who think Jesus really gives a damn if you masturbate or not; after the initial sense of satisfaction you got from giving up something absolutely natural as a futile token to show your love for Jesus, and you masturbate again, should I regard that as you losing your faith in Jesus, or just a big, fat, palm-fucking hypocrite?

Because here's the thing, you will masturbate again. Everyone masturbates. Jesus masturbated.

People like this just piss me off.

said Jimbo on February 6, 2009 10:45 AM.

lol 'Jeses masturbated'

I think Christians believe the world would end if you told them that

said mart on February 6, 2009 10:58 AM.

How in hell are people supposed to know that this is some sort of message supporting religion? Now that I took the time to look it up, I will remember each time that I see one of these shirts ... but the premise is so stupid that I will just assume that the person wearing the shirt is a putz.

EX-slave ... what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Besides, the use of the term 'EX' in this context identifies you as someone that formerly enjoyed, or perhaps was addicted to, the vice identified. Why do that? Wouldn't NON-masterbator, NON-slave, NON-cumbucket, NON-douchebag be more appropriate messages to send?

Perhaps they can make up a nice EX-LAX shirt for me.

said Tim on February 6, 2009 11:14 AM.

Mart - I wouldn't lump all Christians together into one big assumption. Not all Christians are fanatics.

said Tim on February 6, 2009 11:16 AM.

Ahhh, the comments on this one are pure comedy gold.

As a blanket criticism, would Jesus really be down with the whole "Worship me through material items" crap? Seems to me that's exactly what that Jesus dude was against. SO, to sell you a shirt with "EX-Hypocrite" on it seems awfully hypocritical.

"God can and will deliver us from all bondage."
Dang, you get freaky when you're baitin' hunh?

"I was really afraid that there would be a shortage of things for me to buy in 2009 that show my love and appreciation for our lord jesus christ."
Always a shame when you can't find any bling for Jesus.

"I'm so excited. As a former masturbator I plan to get every color."
Umm, yeah, you might want to stay away from the shirt in pink kiddo.

said LostInDaJungle on February 6, 2009 1:14 PM.

I'm not masturbating - right now.
That said I'm gonna stick to my Loyal 77 tshirt.

said E on February 6, 2009 1:27 PM.

Wow, that's what ya need to wear out in the world. I think the comments on that site are as good as the shirts.

Where is the ex-Crusader section?

said Friggan on February 6, 2009 2:45 PM.

Other shirts:


and then my favorites:
ex-homosexual & the black guys in ex-slave shirts

said kbk on February 6, 2009 3:46 PM.

You got to admit, it's quite the conversation starter. "Lets all talk about my masturbation habits."

said E on February 6, 2009 3:50 PM.

Nobody, NOBODY loves Jesus that much. Shirt should say, "Hi, I am full of shit."

If in fact they aren't spanking it, perhaps it should read, "Future sexual-sadist serial killer" or "ask me where the bodies are buried."

said Elkabong on February 6, 2009 5:30 PM.

I can see an image of one of those shirts now. On my bathroom floor. Used to wipe up so much spooge that it is stiff as a board.

They do look soft...

said Will on February 6, 2009 9:45 PM.

And honestly .. can you truly own any of those shirts if one of them is "EX-Hypocrite".

said Will on February 6, 2009 9:47 PM.

Wait wait. Okay.

How is being a diva even slightly in the same category as being a fornicator?

said Eddy on February 7, 2009 8:34 AM.
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