Welcome to the YBNBY Hall of Fame - celebrating the some of the best stories we've posted in the three years that we've been publishing. Continuing until new Year's Day, we'll be reprinting those pieces that brought us the most traffic.
I remember jotting off this story in a couple of hours one night, and thinking not much more about it. Until the traffic started to roll in. It's weird how something sometimes hits the nerve on the cultural zeitgeist system. This piece earned us our very first linkage from Wikipedia - oh, we're so proud.
With the Best Drama Golden Globe going to Brokeback Mountain, it looks like a main contender for Best Picture at the Oscars too. Which means there's one group of people heaving a huge sigh of relief tonight.
No, not The Log Cabin Republicans. I'm talking about the Adult Movie Industry. Year after year, Hollywood's output provides fertile ground for the makers of top class porn, and a story about gay cowboys is going to be right up their back alley.
All of which is the only excuse I need to look through the YesButNoButYes DVD library, and bring you the Top Adult Versions of the last ten years' Academy Award Winners.
2004 - Million Dollar Baby/Million Dollar Booty
This one must have given the filmmakers quite a challenge - Hillary Swank is hardly a role model for young starlets. But luckily the title was all that was needed to get the (creative) juices flowing in a 4 hour extravaganza of below the belt activity.
2003 - Lord Of The Rings/Whore of the Rings
According to the box, “Whore of the Rings is all anal epic tail of sprawling proportions with a Superstar cast”. Obviously a slightly different definition of 'Superstar“ than Peter Jackson might understand.
2002 - Chicago/Chicago XXX
I have to admit that I haven't seen either of these movies, and - given a choice - I think I'd have to select the one featuring Kandi Kreme over the one starring Richard Gere.
2001 - A Beautiful Mind/A Beautiful Sexy Mind
The wonderful thing about this cover is that it simply screams ”Look at my beautiful sexy mind - no, hey, up here, my mind, MY MIND!!“
2000 - Gladiator/Private Gladiator
Now, this is more like it. Private Gladiator goes all out to bring us the authentic taste of roman orgies and hitched togas, in an historic orgy unmatched since Peter O'Toole and Sir John Geilgud didn't read the script properly for Caligula.
1999 - American Beauty/American Booty
”When Monique rents out her spare rooms to some studs from grad school, Midori gives in to her desires and discovers the pleasure of the good neighbor policy“. That's what I always say, love thy neighbor. Especially if she's naked with a red rose up her butt. My second favorite DVD cover of the Oscar parodies.
1998 - Shakespeare In Love/Shakespeare Revealed
Maybe this isn't a parody, maybe it's an official sequel. I mean, that DOES look a bit like Gwyneth after all. Unless, of course, Shakespeare himself was a hot platinum blonde in high heels.
1997 - Titanic/Titanic Tits
”If your looking for big boobs, this flick is the way to go, with an international cast of huge hootered legends.“ This, of course, is my favorite cover - simple aesthetic genius, in both image and title.
1996 - The English Patient/Hot English Punishment
I have to admit - maybe the resemblance is all in my mind, because parody would certainly be too strong a word for this one. But full marks for an inventive title. And, as an Englishman, I can indeed confirm the hotness of a good spanking.
1995 - Braveheart/The Scottish Loveknot
I thought I was going to be defeated on the final movie until Google supplied me with liner notes that claim The Scottish Loveknot is like ”Braveheart on Ecstacy“. Good enough for me.
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