When our good friends at ChopShop heard about the death of YBNBY, they offered to help in our destruction.

We said, awesome! And they sent along this appropriate Undead shirt.

You folks now have the chance to win it. Call it our dying wish, to you.

Good luck.

Our store is still open for business, so grab a slice of YESBUTNOBUTYES swag while you still can.

Preserve the memories. And have an instant conversation starter.

Order today, and you'll have it before our funeral on May 31st.

Mother's Day is supposed to be a day of appreciation, of chocolate and flowers (hint hint) for the person you love more than life itself. It's also a day fraught with pitfalls, because there are many ways to screw it up. For example, buying your mom a gift from the list of the 15 Worst Mother's Day Gifts Ever. Then again, if you really can't stand the person you are obligated to buy a gift for, any of these will broadcast your passive-aggressive feelings quite adequately. The list is conveniently divided into "Bad gifts for Good Moms" and "Good Gifts for Bad Moms".

(That might include mother-in-laws. Not mine, of course, but maybe yours.)

There's a new entry in the ever-growing list of things we didn't know we needed until someone decided to sell it to us. We have Betty to make our carpet match the drapes, so to speak. We have Liquid Virgin to tighten us up. Now we have lipstick for our hoo-has?

My New Pink Button is showing up everywhere I've been on the web today. Check out the pitch:

My New Pink Button (tm) is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it. This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their color loss.

Excuse me? Thousands of women? I have a hard time believing that. For one thing, I can't even see mine, which makes me wonder about women who not only can, but do. For another thing, I can't remember what color it was when I was young, so how would I know if it changed? And what does "color loss" mean anyway? Does it turn white? Gray? The color of your face? Transparent? And do men really care?

My new Pink Button comes in four colors, which aren't really colors as they are named Marilyn, Bettie, Ginger, and Audrey. For $120, you can try all four! One blogger tried it out and has helpfully posted pictures of the package contents and instructions, as well as her dismal impressions. The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that you avoid dying your cootch. One fellow who contributed a review just loved it.

I got the ole misses some of this cooter cream cause although she is a classic let's just say she wasn't garage kept. We both enjoyed ourselves as I waxed her squack and the dye really brought out the original finish. My only question comment is that I wish it had that new car smell, or maybe leather. But anyway, I've been inside my wife all week and it's been a great ride.

All in all, my philosophy of never buying anything just because someone wants to sell it to me will keep me from the temptation of ordering My New Pink Button.

First it was a 1960s German passenger plane that carried travelers all over the world.
Then it was grounded and turned into an airport restaurant.
Now, in its third reincarnation, this former 120 seater is a hotel suite for two.
And only two. No guests, friends, pets or children allowed.


Parked at the Teuge airport in the Netherlands, this Plane Suite is available for a cool €350/night ($490 US).

If you want to reserve the space or room or fuselage, you can enjoy the infrared sauna, king size bed, mini bar, kitchenette, three flat screen TVs and jacuzzi. Breakfast is free as well.

You can also sit in the cockpit and pretend to join the mile high club.

Via TreeHugger

Yesterday, the Urban Dictionary word of the day was "pornament", which is, of course, a pornographic Christmas ornament. There are plenty of examples in the post The Weirdest Christmas Ornaments To Make Your Tree Blush. Oh, but it's not all pornaments, you'll also see tree dangles that are offensive, confusing, and just plain weird. And links to gets yours! That is, if you don't care to get coal in your stocking this year.

There's a little douchebag in all of us. So celebrate it.

Just in time for the holiday season, there's Douchebag Frames. A great gift for that dickish friend, asshole boss, stuck-up co-worker, or most annoying Contradictor.

They saym "Nothing says "you suck" quite like a Douchebag Frame."
And they may have a point.

Via AgencySpy

The G-string is apparently too restrictive, uncomfortable and bulky.
And not sexy enough.
So the C-string was invented.

The CString is a completely new and exciting innovation in lingerie. Say goodbye to panty lines and uncomfortable straps.

Um ladies, care to weigh in on this. I mean wearing what amounts to a cup instead of underwear? Are you buying this?
Why not just go lady commando?

Buy one @ C-String

I did not know that you could go online and order a casket from Wal-Mart. You learn something new every day. The model shown is called the "Dad Remembered" casket. "Mom Remembered" is available at the same price.

(Thanks, Brother Bill!)

I love October. I had to turn the heat on a couple of nights ago and the smell of a dusty furnace fills me with good feelings. I can make a pot of chili and revel in the fact that I won't mow the lawn again until at least March. And there are a couple of good things online for you.

The 8th Annual Blogger Boobie-Thon kicked off this morning, and has already raised $585 as of 9AM. See your favorite bloggers baring all to raise money for breast cancer research. Start off with the free gallery of pictures, then make a pledge of at least $50 to see the bare ones. Your donation could save the lives of people like your mom, sister, wife, girlfriend, daughter, or granddaughter. The Boobie-Thon will run through October 7th only. Then there's the big run-up to Halloween. I love posting creepy stuff -all I need is an excuse, and October works nicely. Today at mental_floss, I posted a collection of home decor items under the title The House of Blood. You can imagine what's in it. But don't bother, just go look. And rest assured you'll see a lot more weird posts here on the way to October 31st!

We've already established that you can put any soap on a rope and someone will buy it. Is it worth $10.88 to get your weiner cleaner? Or is the cleaning part just an excuse?

My wife has us signed up for so many email lists, it makes my head spin. Today was the day that I finally got one I enjoyed.  I'm sure it'd be hell to explain THAT text message (especially if you tell your wife what the numbers spell).....

 

ro·bot (rō'bŏt', -bət) n. A mechanical device that sometimes resembles a human and is capable of performing a variety of often complex human tasks on command or by being programmed in advance.

coast·er (kō'stər) n. A small tray, often on wheels, for passing something, such as a wine decanter, around a table.

See also:
Unfortunately-Named Brands, Vol. 1

Spotted at Ross Dress for Less:

"Yo, whatcha doin' up there between those two gangsta-ass criminals, J.C.?"

"Aw, you know how I likes to roll..."

Thanks to the beauty of marketing you can now get your dog its very own Mike Vick Eagles Jersey.

I can't wait until the animal folks find out about this.
Priceless!

Get your here.