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Ali's least greatest moment
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Muhammad Ali is famous for many things.

And he is, after all, the greatest of all time.

But even the greatest can falter once and a while. Being the pitchman for D-Con roach killer way back when and "putting his picture on the box" has to rank as one of the least memorable moments of his otherwise incredible career.


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Guinea Pig Olympics
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Personally I'm finding the Olympics a bit boring so far. The announcers are overblown and just trying to fill air time. Bob Costas is looking his age. And I've so over that stupid theme song.

I tuned in for a bit last night but after none of the divers hit their heads on the board, none of the swimmers were disqualified, and none of the gymnasts ran head first into the balance beam, I turned it off. Maybe they'll be a massive lancing in the fencing competition that will draw me back.

Till then, here's something truly stupid in sports from the animal world: The Guinea Pig Olympics...

(Thanks Marcus.)

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Dr. Pierce cures all
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Advertisers have always pitched to people fears. And back in the 1890s, aristocratic ladies and southern belles were supposed to have gotten 'female weakness' - giddy and faint under stress.

But good old Dr. R.V. Pierce sold millions of tonics and elixirs to cure it. His secret ingredient: opium or alcohol.

A good dose of either, in any medicine, will cure pretty much most ailments. For a few hours or so anyway. The $500 reward was a lock.

Pierce sold this cure and lots others in his book "The People's Common Sense Medical Advise." He also ran the Invalid's Hotel and Surgical Institute in Buffalo, NY. As a precursor and mentor to today's infomercial inventors, the good doctor generally used his medicine's as the solution to whatever problem he diagnosed.

Smart man, he sold millions of his potions ilike "vaginal tablets" (to stop leaking) and "Spermatorrhea" (to cure loss of semen without copulation - masturbation).

No doubt today he stands as an inspiration to loads of today's hucksters like Viapren strips .


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The Show Must Go On! And on, and on...
4 Comments
storm_tempest.jpgThree years ago, Scaramouch wrote about Golden Age strippers, and mentioned that Tempest Storm had retired at age 65. That seemed quite old for a stripper to still be working, but the retirement apparently didn't last. Now we find out that Ms. Storm is 80 years old and still performing in Las Vegas! Ummm, isn't 65 a good age to quit wearing high heels? I dread occasions where I need to put them on, or even a swimsuit, and I'm still far from 80. There are a few pictures with the story, but I'll err on the prudent side and post one from the 1940s. You can see her performing in her heyday in this veg featuring Tempest Storm and her contemporaries.

Feel free to leave your best pun or punchline in the comments.


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Ugly People Need Sex, Too
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Remember when Eddie Murphy was funny? Um, no? You don't have to take my word for it; here's a clip from SNL.

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Catching up with Jimmy "Super Fly" Snuka
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superfly.jpg Before Hulk Hogan and "Macho Man" Randy Savage were the big draws in the WWF there was one guy that started to turn heads...it was The Superfly and his signature move was pretty much a first for American TV wrestling - leaping off the top rope and flattening his opponents. Although in his most memorable matches, he usually missed. Especially off the top of the 25 foot high steel cage. (That's why they're memorable.) But Snuka was great cause he could sell a punch from a baby and make it seem like he'd been hit with a sledgehammer. Face or heel, fans ate him up and no one cared if he won or lost, as long as his opponent got squashed from off the top rope.

Somewhere in my basement I still have a VHS copy of his match vs. Magnificent Don Muraco from MSG. A bloodied and battered Superfly connects from way up above the steel cage. I was 9 and it blew my mind.
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The most famous Snuka incident most people remember though was the coconut bashing he received from Roddy They Live Piper. This propelled Superfly to the top of the WWF (pre-Hogan) and started one of the most famous feuds in wrestling history. (It was wrestling back then, not sports entertainment.)

(Both the Muraco cage match and the Piper's Pit video are preserved, for your viewing pleasure, after the jump.)

Today, at around 60-64 years old, Snuka is still wrestling and flying, although not with the same grandeur he once had. He's not got much left in his brain, so word is his interview skills boil down to saying "Brudda" a lot. You can check out his site or Superfly on Myspace brudda. Or in a few days (July 12th) he's wrestling in Hagerstown, MD. For a guy who's forehead looks like a cheese grater, he done okay.

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The Mystique of the Moustache; A Retrospective of Masculinity
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Of all the facial hair variations in the world, including the hairs that grow out of moles on old ladies, none is as polarizing as the moustache.

What once was thought of a symbol of masculinity and virility, is now often associated with social degenerates, serial killers and a dude that owns a van with no windows.

What a shame that is.

I believe it's about time we, the solid, law abiding citizens of planet Earth, take the moustache back.

A reclamation of a former symbol of what it means to be a man.

Let's take back the stache.

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Virtual Lite-Brite
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Harness your inner-child with this virtual Lite-Brite.
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Stuff Your 'Cool' Uncle Likes
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"Paperhouse" by Can

Can? Aw, holy shit! I saw those cats back in '73. No, '71. I dunno, before you were born, your Mom probably remembers. I had hair down to here, kiddo! No shit. I was backpacking through Europe, saw them play for free in Stockholm. I mean, they weren't playing for free, I think they sold tickets somewhere, but nobody cared back then, that's just the way it was.
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A James Bond Celebration
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May 28th is the 100th anniversary of the birth of author Ian Fleming, the creator of James Bond. Many events are scheduled for the centenary. A new Bond book, Devil May Care, will be released tomorrow. Read an excerpt here. The new Bond film, Quantum of Solace, will be released in November. There's even a James Bond wiki. But if you're looking for some lighthearted fun, there are jokes, videos, lists, and links about 007 today at Miss Cellania.
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Who's on First?
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It's a cold, wet, ugly Sunday in New York and if you need a big laugh this classic Abbott and Costello sketch should do the trick. Watch the original "Who's on First?" above or if you'd prefer, a fun type design animation treatment after the jump.Whatever you choose, you'll laugh.

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Catching up with Steak-Umm
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There were many nights during my youth when Mom fired up the skillet and fried us up a box of 2cm thick Steak-Umm's. I totally devoured them - my doughboy childhood physique stands as proof. But years passed, Mom moved on to turkey burgers and I thought Steak-Umm went away. Turns out I was just looking in the wrong section of the frozen food aisle.

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VD is for Everybody
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It's the feelgood message of the Summer.

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Catching up with Gary Gnu
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"No gnews is good gnews with Gary Gnu."

That was the famous catch phrase of 80s muppet puppet icon Gary Gnu. Gary's gimmick was adding a guttural "g" sound to the beginning of any word he spoke which normally began with an "n", such as "gnews" for "news" and "gnaturally" for "naturally". It was comedic gold for 6-8 year old tykes back in the early 1980's.

Of course Gary is nothing but foam core and green fabric without the voice and puppeteer skills of Jim Martin. (Pictured above with Mark Hamill and, years later, accepting an Emmy for his work on Sesame Street.)

So what's up with them/him today?

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The name of the game is Ball Buster.
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