You guys know as well as anyone that my spelling is not perfect. However, when I have something spelled wrong, there's always someone smarter around to call me on it pretty quickly. Then I correct it as soon as possible. Not everyone is as diligent, or else they are surrounded by people who don't spell any better than they do. Or maybe they just don't care enough to correct the mistake. I've been collecting these misspelled political signs from all over the web for quite some time now, but with the 9/12 march on Washington yesterday, my files are overflowing. I can't vouch that every one is genuine, but at least the majority of them are real.

From The Culinary Arts Desk...

If you have an extra 25 grand in the shoebox above your fridge, you can head to ebay and win a dinner with conversational wizard Sarah Palin and the former First Dude.

Proceeds will go to charity. So far, no takers. Weird. Of course, if you want to have dinner with moronic unemployed bloggers, you can have a meal with Echowood and myself for $77 bucks. Cash. We'll go to John's pizza joint on 44th Street, best in New York. Bring the family! We'll talk about football, pirates and Victorian freak shows. All proceeds will go to our pockets.

I imagine the dinner with the Palin's will be the resurrection of the Algonquin Round Table. An erudite discussion of what newspapers and magazines you read, views of foreign lands from your porch, the joys of hunting from helicopters, witch hunts and how to deal with the meathead that knocked up your daughter.

Only $25,000, kids. Get out your checkbook...

President Obama just finished his speech to American students. And, as you'll see, it was all the things his critics feared.

The current President urged students to stay in school, get an education, do their homework, pay attention, focus, and don't spend every waking moment in front of the TV or XBox.

Wait, it gets worse.

He also said, "Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength."

That's subversive, socialist brain washing right there. We all know seeking help is a sign of weakness. And everyone knows you to look to Jesus for strength.

The outrage from Republicans and scared parents was certainly justified.
Just as it wasn't when President Reagan gave his speech to students in 1988 and President Bush gave his in 1991.

Last year, right before the anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, I wrote a vitriolic column entitled "Taking a Piss On the 9/11 Conspiracy Nut Jobs." Not exactly subtle, but that was on purpose.

As we near another anniversary, I am rerunning the column. I believe it is important. The "Truthers" are some of the vilest people in the country. So I'd like to stick them with a cattle prod.

The article, in it's entirely, can be read after the jump.

Even on its own, without the gaff, this attempt at an object lesson would be pretty ridiculous. Professor Ludwig Von Beck steps up the the blackboard and tries to take letters from various and forced phrases to "spell" out the word "oligarch." Referring to a member of an oligarchy, a form of government that is run by a small group of elite society.

Glenn wants to use "oligarch" to draw comparisons from elitist government and President Barry Obama's administration. Okay, that's fine, I'll give him credit for the historical reference and an obscure word. The problem? Blackboards and chalk don't have spellcheck.



Damn. So close. There's a "C" in there pally. Professor Beck has since spun the error as intentional, saying he left of the "C" for "czars." See? It was on purpose. He had a plan for that all along. Hopefully Scripps National Spelling Bee doesn't advertise on the show or Glenn could lose another sponsor.

Lately people have been painting tiny mustaches on black dudes and referring to Israelis as "Hitler." And boy, is Der Führer pissed.

(Yes, you've seen this scene from 2004 German film Der Untergang repurposed a zillion times by now, but this has got to be the best one yet.)

Under normal circumstances, I would make a few juvenile wisecracks about the nuts that are spewing craziness and bile at the health care town hall meetings. It has been ugly, but there has been some laugh-inducing moments moments. Like the look on the face of the woman after Barney Frank smacked her Nazi nonsense down. That was pretty funny.

There's nothing funny about this. No jokes to be made.

In Las Vegas, a Jewish gentleman is voicing his opinion, quite passionately, about health care in Israel. Off camera, a horrible woman yells "Heil Hitler!" I don't even know what to say. How the man kept it together as well as he did is admirable.



Where is this coming from? I follow the news pretty closely and don't recall all this Nazi symbology and rhetoric being used before. How has it become so prevalent in recent weeks? Even if you disagree with President Obama's proposed health care reform, surely one can see that he is trying to help people. To compare this, trying to figure out a way that more people are cared for, to the most vile and evil group in modern history is deplorable. It's disgusting.

As someone with Jewish friends, and someone that admires Jewish people and culture, I know how much just the mention of this filth can hurt. It immediately invokes the horrors of the Holocaust. Where 6 million plus were killed. For nothing. It invokes the thoughts of grandfathers who had an identification number tattooed on his forearm from Auschwitz.

There are no jokes here. Only shame. It's disheartening to think that we as a society still have this kind of hate festering below the surface. It makes me sad.

Have a good weekend. Do something kind for someone.

Johnny Wright

There is no politician more frank than Massachusetts congressman Barney Frank. If all politicians would just say what they are thinking instead of trying to be tactful for reelection purposes, we might not have to put up with so much nonsense. In this clip, he responds to a woman who called the proposed health care reform plan a "Nazi policy" last night at a town hall meeting in Dartmouth. I expect some day someone will stand up and explain that the Nazis were the political opposite of socialists, but Frank just cut to the heart of the matter.

While many folks are spending their free time protesting Barry Obama's push to lower the cost of health care, this guy has other ideas.

Hey dude, Obama is the President but he's no miracle worker.

I'm beginning to think that Rod Blagojevich is an elaborate hoax. A beyond clever modern day Tony Clifton. And we are all being had.

How else do you explain the most bizarre politician of our time? No real person can can combine the ingredients of stupidity, dishonesty, cluelessness and hairdo and be on the level, can they?

At a Chicago block party, Rod Blagojevich delivers the worst Elvis impersonation since Kevin Costner in 3000 Miles to Graceland, crapping the bed on "Treat Me Nice." As a Fabio impersonator looks on. See? This is someone's performance art masterpiece. I do love it when you can't tell if it's hair or a beard. Is he looking forward? Is that the back of his head? I dunno. Hit it Rod!



The young lady at 47 seconds sums this up perfectly...

Newspaper giant Washington Post is making news itself this week. The paper made the decision to bench sports cartoon Tank McNamara this week. In all, 6 panels were denied and "reruns" appeared.

Above are two of the "offending" strips. Satirizing NFL commish Roger Goodell, the NFL's problems with the police blotter, Michael Vick and Dick Cheney. In the strip Cheney says Goodell should rub out dog-killin' Vick.

Over the line? Perhaps. But worthy of censorship? Please. Read that list of who is involved again. Aside from Dubya, are there people that have given late night comics and newspaper columnists more material?

This stinks of hypocrisy. Especially since the Washington Post spent 8 years satirizing and hammering Cheney. And a comic strip is what gets shut down? It's a bloody cartoon.

Free speech applies to Jeffy and Dolly in The Family Circus but not Tank?

Nonsense...

It's a shame that SNL is not in production right now. The cold open would be a town hall meeting. Every person that stepped up the microphone would be crazier than the next. Making all kind of outrageous claims about the proposed health care reform. The final guy could be wearing a coonskin cap and a barrel with straps. "The only thing the Obama health care plan covers is abortions and zombie bites!" Anything else? "Live from New York ..." That sucker would kill.

Seth Meyers, call me pally, we'll chat.

I know there are plenty of reports of shills and plants being sent to these meetings, but let me give those that actually want a discussion a nickel's worth of free advice.

Stop sending the caricatures to the mike. Don't have the slob with meatball stains dripping down his t-shirt talk/ramble/scream. Don't you have anyone that isn't in the over 60, white guy, Bill O'Reilly fan-base demographic? How about a dude wearing a tie?

Maybe it would be a good idea to let someone talk that has an actual counter-argument. Not yelling and screaming incoherent blather. It comes across as only trying to defeat Obama, not caring about the 50 million that don't have health care. You're siding with the pharmaceutical companies who are kind of the bad guys.

Don't make signs with Nazi symbology. It's backfiring and really embarrassing.

And, most important, do not, under any circumstances, let someone yell "I want my country back!" This has become the battle cry for the batty. The news directors are waiting for the nuts to yell it so they can play the clip. How are you not figuring this out on your own?

Okay, enough ranting/common sense, roll the damn clip. You need to see this guy.

Much political hay has been made from Bill Cinton's trip to North Korea last week. During his short visit, Bill was able to negotiate the release of 2 American journalists from the clutches of Kim Jong "I Am A Better Golfer Than Tiger Woods" Il.

It was a great story. An inspiring story. I did want to know if Clinton had time to take a spin on Kim Jong's uber-waterslide, though. That wasn't answered. However! During the same week, Russian ex-president/action hero was also involved in a photo-op. Putin led journalists on an adventure holiday in Siberia.

Now we're talking.

This is what our ex-commander in chief's should be doing. Screw the opening of libraries and diplomatic endeavors. Let's have a little adventure, bravado and staged homo-erotic photographs. You gettin' that G.H.W.B.? Grab the chaps and a bullwhip and get to posing. I'm looking at you Carter. Strip down to the jockstrap and pose on the hood of a Lamborghini. While hunting lions with an M-16.

Masculinity...

During the summer hiatus, there really isn't any good television comedy available. Hell, even during the regular season there are only a handful of shows that are legitimately funny. That is why the pathetic "Birthers" are the best comedy we have right now. It's becoming Abbott and Costello.

After a very poor Obama birth certificate from "Kenya" was found to be a forgery in 15 seconds -- it would help if the republic on the document actually existed when it was issued -- the Birthers still found a microphone to shout in.

It seems that Orly Taitz is the sanest person that believes the birth certificate bollocks. That is not good. Enjoy the meltdown...



Okay, how much does this loony broad sound like Magica De Spell in DuckTales? It's spooky, innit? I keep thinking that after she is done yelling she's heading to rob Uncle Scrooge's Money Bin and the Number One Dime. It's freaking me out.

Here at the YBNBY Head Office we have attempted, like many of you have done in your own head offices while in your underpants, to make sense of Alaskan superhero Sarah Palin's resignation. At first, second and 33rd glance, it is hard to decipher the real reason The Barracuda stepped down.

We're confident in our ability to sniff out a story. There had to be a more logical explanation as to why she was quitting while saying she's not quitting because that is the quitters way out.

But dammit, we were stumped. No freaking idea what she is talking about. Is she speaking in riddles? According to our crack research team, Sarah Palin is hard to understand because an astonishing 77% of her speech patterns fall into the categories of "political clichés, buzz words, nonsense and gobbledygook." We tried even harder, running Palin's recent speeches through idiom dictionaries, Russian literature (it's in the ballpark, no?) even Webster's Talking Out of Your Keester Translator and were still confused. Attempting to walk the words through Elvish and back to English was a big mistake, we see that now.

However! I have made an archeological discovery that can finally makes sense of the former Alaska Governor's speech patterns.