Over a smorgasbord of BBQ from Hill Country, Echo and Baier discuss New York State's potential fat tax. On the one hand, it helps stunt the continuing body-width growth of Americans. But on the other hand, it punishes us skinny bastards who are attempting to put on a little weight. (We have issues of our own, having been picked last in kickball)
So sit back, grab a bucket o'wings, maybe a Big Gulp, and listen to us vent/rant about this proposed new tax.
There has been some mysterious Sinatra-related violence in the Philippines. In this exciting episode, I takes a closer look at the mayhem. There has been all sort of donnybrooks going down in Manilla. "The Kill-a in Manilla." (Sorry about that one. That's awful.)
What could cause Filipinos to riot at karaoke bars. Karaoke bars are supposed to be happy places. Where those that are three sheets to the wind warble "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town." See? Happy.
Okay, on with the show...
Let's all try act a little more like Frank Sinatra. Sort this out, Philippines. Sort this out.
Baierman was nice enough to take time out of his busy schedule to record a video podcast with me. In it, we discuss the Winter Olympics, our favorite moments and sports, as well as the curiosity that is Ice Dancing. Baierman comes up with the greatest sport ever, and I make a petition to get him on the board of the I.O.C.
After weeks of illness, crazy job schedules, and unruly teenagers, Johnny and I managed to squeeze the recording of another podcast. Again, the sound quality off of Johnny's mic is like listening to Roseanne Barr sing the national anthem, but if you manage through it we have a surprise for you.
Johnny and I reveal the Secret Squirrel Project! We also dive into the Winter Olympics, the injustices of the New York State Department of Labor, and a Prick of the Week. You can listen here, or check it out on iTunes.
It was a cold Winter's eve. Several inches of snow hid the dried and dead grass below. The island was constantly battered by steel grey waves crashing onto it's stormy beach. And from a distance, it looked as if no life were to be found there at all...
It sure has the makings of a mystery novel. A small and desolate island in the dead of winter, houses boarded up with most of the residents in warmer environs during the colder months. Well, a mystery novel or an awesome setting for the lair of a super-villain. For some reason, I thought it would be fun to take Mr. Brightside, his wife and my girlfriend out to this house in order to drink wine, sit by the fire, and read books. Instead, we got shit faced, watched the olympics, and spent a good deal of time sledding in the front yard. Toward the end of the night, Mr. Brightside told me he had something he wanted to share with the readers. Something he wanted to get off his chest. And seeing as I had no control over my decisions (or my hair), I thought we'd let it rip. This video is the result.
I seriously questioned putting this up or not. I'm still not sure I made the right decision. Based on the purplish hue of our teeth alone, we'd be great candidates for several 12-step programs. Anyway, if you make it through the whole thing, you'll see just how bad things got toward the end of the evening.
This is why I should never do things without Johnny...
This month marks the 75th anniversary of alligators in the New York System. Here's a warning and some advice on how not to get eaten on your Broadway vacation.
I actually don't know if Gator Repellant is real. But this should be close enough.
You've been warned, tourists..
There was also a documentary made abut the gators in the sewers in the early 80's.
Adam and I have been having a hard time getting our schedules together. It's mostly me, I've been sick as hell. So this is what we have for you.
We felt the story of teenage outlaw Colton Harris-Moore needs to be spread. Moore has robbed 50 houses, and stolen cars boats and airplanes. You see, he doesn't know how to actually fly an airplane.
I have a feeling this crime spree is going to end badly, The "Barefoot Bandit" is not exaclty Danny Ocean.
As I explain briefly in this ridiculous video, we haven't been able to do a 3 Chords & the Truth podcast this week due to a few scheduling issues.
So this is what you get. A crappy solo video without Adam.
An Oregon wizard is suing Idaho police for opening a special mojo-style bag that gave him magical powers. This was done during a DUI bust. Now the man is a mere mortal and Idaho coppers are looking at a 25 large lawsuit.
Valued reader -- you're all valued, but some are more special than others, sorry -- Ben Lurkin is an illustrator. A damn talented one from what we can gather.
Ben, on his own accord, sent in a caricature of your favorite knuckled-headed YesButNoButYes contributers. Those of Baierman and Miss Celania weren't very good, so he drew and Echowood and myself as a consolation.
They made us laugh pretty hard. I don't how he made me look so smug, but it sure cracked me up. Echo is like the Mona Lisa: what is he thinking about? Man, this cartoon has layers.
Our thanks to Ben for the effort. A little plug: Ben sells some pretty funny t-shirts here. Please support him.
Again, thank you Ben. We appreciate how you can honor and make fun of us at the same time.
Post Script: We haven't done a 3 Chords & the Truth podcast this week because I have down with the flu and lost my voice. And yes, I know many of you would see that as a bonus, but we'll have another up next week.
This was initially going to be a column entitled "Regression in Sport: The All White Basketball League."
Then I thought my sarcasm and venom would come across more clearly in video form.
In Augusta Georgia, a town not exactly known for racial harmony, knucklehead Don "Moose" Lewis is the commissioner of the apparently real All-American Basketball Alliance. Just your run-of-the-mill, small independent basketball league. One catch: you have to be a white guy to participate. Caucasians only. Can't see any potential problems with this venture.
I couldn't resist proffering my 2 cents.
Extra Tidbit: My hat is a vintage cap from the family business, SeaSport Boats. Started by my Scottish immigrant grandfather in 1955, many of his classic designs are still in use today.
Against our better judgment, the advice of clergy and a petition signed with over 1,000 names asking us to stop, we recorded another podcast. Despite our best efforts, the audio quality hasn't improved much. Johnny continues to sound like Alexander Graham Bell and the internet connection has more drops than the Seahawks. You can listen here, and the file should be up on iTunes in a few hours.
They said it couldn't be done. They said it would defy the laws of the universe, much like the Large Hadron Collider or Kirstie Alley. And yet we're proud to announce the arrival of the first 3 Chords & the Truth Podcast. No longer are you chained to your computer as you listen to our dulcet voices wax poetic. You are now free to hear our gospel whilst in your car, on the subway, on a run or sailing on your yacht. Furthermore, you won't have to look at our ugly mugs either!
Before you blow your wad much in the same way you would were you to witness Natalie Portman and Alesandra Ambrosio make out while Michael Bay explosions went off behind them, there are a few things to note.
The sound quality isn't that great. We have the audio skills of Marlee Matlin conducting a symphony and it shows. With Johnny in Seattle and me in New York, a lot of the quality is lost when Johnny's wee voice travels all those miles to reach my computer.
Things need to be refined. Our philosophy has always been to start out running and finish by asking the dude in the pedi-cab to deliver us to the finish line. We honestly had no gameplan. Our discussions previous to this can be summed up in the phrase: "let's talk about things in the news."
I swear once or twice. What would you expect from a man raised on the docks? Johnny keeps his mouth soap-free for fear God might smite him. With that, if you have kids listening, you may want to explain to them what a "dick smoking ass bucket" is.
As stated above, we really have no idea what we're doing. What we'd like is some feedback. Tell us what you'd like to hear. Give us some suggestions. Shoot us a line in the comments section, or drop us one at threechordsandthetruth@gmail.com.
Here's how to listen. You can check out the Mp3 here. We're still waiting to be "reviewed" on iTunes, but once that's set up, you'll be able to subscribe to the podcast.
UPDATE: We were approved on iTunes! So head to this link (it should open iTunes) and click "subscribe."
Whoops! We're not sure if it was your fault or ours (probably yours, we're good that way) but you've encountered a FATAL ERROR!!! Or at least, a pretty grumpy one.
Specifically the Latvians who run our server are telling us in a weird accent "Smarty error: [in evaluated template line 6]: syntax error: unrecognized tag 'mtfeed' (Smarty_Compiler.class.php, line 580), Comrade!". Ain't life a bitch.
If you want to vent, email our slacker of a webmaster. Otherwise, we'd suggest going back, using search, or clicking around aimlessly on this page like a moron.
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