Recent "Johnny's Soapbox" Articles

Ten Neglected 80's Songs For Your Next Mixtape (Sort Of)

(This story was sent in by our correspondent from the Windy City, Johnny Chicago)

Since I received a few requests for this (very few, actually), I figured I'd share with you 10 songs from the 80's, and the same rules apply here - they are essential listening for me, and maybe you'll like them so much you'll seek them out yourself. However, there is one variation of a theme here. Instead of just talking about the song (if and when you find it), I'd ask you give the WHOLE ALBUM a whirl, because some of the songs I've listed here you may have heard of, but I think there are a lot more that you haven't - maybe. Now for the first song, I'm coming out, guns blazing... after the jump.

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Posted by Scaramouch on May 18, 2006| Comments (0) | Permalink

Ten Neglected 70's Songs For Your Next Mixtape

(This article was submitted by our field correspondent, Johnny Chicago)

We all collect music, and it's been getting easier and easier for some time now. I can still remember putting the old Panasonic tape recorder up to the speaker and putting “Kashmir” by Zeppelin and “Lay Down Sally” by Clapton right next to each other on the same mixtape.

Well, folks, I've got over 2, 000 essential songs saved on the computer and on disc. However, I want to share with you 10 great songs from the 70's that I can't stop listening to at least once a day. I've also given you the reasons why you should have them in your portable 8-track player - uh, I mean, iPod.

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Posted by Scaramouch on May 08, 2006| Comments (8) | Permalink

George Lucas has finally been given an engraved invitation - to Hell!

(This piece was submitted by our field operative, Johnny Chicago.)

George Lucas, not content with totally emptying every geek's pockets worldwide for the last 23 years with a plethora of cheap garbage Beta, Laserdisc and VHS tapes and inferior DVD's, now has finally made a immortal pact with the Devil Himself by opening his well-oiled vault and on September 12th will “release” the “theatrical versions” of all 3 “Star Wars” films onto double-disc DVDs at an “attractively priced” $29.95 per movie. This must definitely will ensure that he will be condemned to the seventh circle of Eternal Damnation when he shuffles off the mortal coil. I hope.

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Posted by Scaramouch on May 04, 2006| Comments (2) | Permalink

'Chinga Tu Madre,' and other Salutations!

(Sent to me for posting by Johnny Chicago)

Hey Gringo! 'Chinga Tu Madre,' and other Salutations!

Here's some thoughts for you “legals” to consider the next time you're thinking about throwing your empty Snapple bottle out of the cab at the over 100,000 brown-skinned pedestrians screaming for justice.

I'm going to be marching today, and I'm walking for those who can't be seen in public. I'm talking about the Chinese who make your dim sum and alter your ever-widening pants out, you fatass. I'm doing it for the Russian and Polish maids who pickup after you lazy twenty-something slobs in the hotel rooms you trash every weekend and all of the bathrooms in the offices you infest all week being cool and sucking on your triple latte.

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Posted by Scaramouch on May 01, 2006| Comments (5) | Permalink

Her Tears Can Cure Chuck Norris' Cancer!

Thanks to a posting by The Muggler, I have a renewed interest in one of America's greatest martial artists ever to appear on film in the last 25 years. You know who I'm talking about. I'm talking about Cynthia Rothrock. Let me tell you why...

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Posted by on March 24, 2006| Comments (0) | Permalink

Agony In Mono

If you are a sick person like me who distrusts Authority, believes every conspiracy theory that comes down the pike, AND has more than 10 guns ( I said OVER 10 guns, Jellio, put your hand down!) in their specially-made bunker, than this will interest you. Or disgust you. Or both. You could be here for hours, and then you'll need a shower. Or not.

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Posted by on March 08, 2006| Comments (0) | Permalink

It's On TNT Again, But Hey - They Were Great In The Theater Once!

I've had the pleasure of seeing a lot of films, both bad and good, and I remember often sitting in the theater most of the time alone, either in amazement or laughing so hard I cried. Sometimes I did this with a few others who might have wandered in, not getting it, cringing, and then giving me dirty looks afterwards or walking out in major disgust halfway through it.

Lately I've seen my secretly-closeted loves being repeated to DEATH on on cable, and so I'd like to tell you about 10 of these, and when I saw them, before EVERYONE jumped on the bandwagon and suddenly liked them. After the jump.

Continue reading "It's On TNT Again, But Hey - They Were Great In The Theater Once!"

Posted by on March 06, 2006| Comments (6) | Permalink

And the rest...

Hollywood Sez: Gay is The New Ugly
In the last few years, Hollywood, the last bastion of civility and morality, was practically giving away Oscars like a Pez dispenser at the sight of someone willing to ditch their perfect looks and make yourself into - well,...
It happens in threes, March Edition: Steee-rike Two!
One of the Jacksons is dead! Well... Johnny Jackson, a former drummer for the Jackson 5, was found stabbed to death at a house in Gary, Ind., police said this afternoon. (Please look at the accompanying picture, he's the...
Feingold commits treason on the Senate floor
Well, he didn't, but pretty soon it might be. Today Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI) repeatly read the text of the U.S. constitution to the U.S. Senate after the body voted 95-4 approving 3 amendments to 16 controversial provisions of...
Harry Potted?
Hey, Herimone can PARTY! Well, she got caught, plain and simple. There's no getting over the fact that even the tweeners in Hollywood don't give a shit about your kids when their Drew Barrymore-esqe behavior is caught on film. And...
Meg Ryan - We Hardly Knew Ye
What ever happened to our favorite perky gal from “When Harry Met Sally” and “Joe vs The Volcano”? THIS is what happened.   She was on Oprah yesterday and for a split second I thought the big O was doing...