Would these star crossed lovers have met such a tragic fate if they'd had a Sassy Gay Friend™?

After the jump: Sassy Gay Friend™ tells Ophelia to get over that Melancholy Dane.

One of these TV commercials is real, and one is fake. Are you a savvy enough consumer to spot which is which?

On the left is the Hug E Gram; on the right, the G. F. Spooner.

Answer after the jump!

I've never been a super die-hard spookhouse fan, but I must admit, I've always wanted to go check out one of these crazy-ass Fundamentalist Christian Hell Houses at Halloween...especially one with actors that say "hoochie mama."

Starting this Sunday night, IFC will be airing the 6-part documentary Monty Python: Almost the Truth (The Lawyer's Cut). It's an exhaustive start-to-finish history of the groundbreaking comedy troupe, featuring interviews with the original members, archival footage and conversations with people they've worked with and influenced over the years, like Lorne Michaels, Eddie Izzard and Stephen Merchant.

According to Python member Terry Jones,

This is the documentary I always hoped that would be made -- something so complete and so faithful to the truth that I don't need to watch it.

Six hours of in-depth Python interviews and never-before-seen material? I think I just soiled my Spanish Inquisition robes in excitement.

To celebrate the premiere of the documentary, last night the Ziegfeld Theatre in NYC hosted the remaining members of Monty Python (plus a cardboard cutout of the late, great Graham Chapman) for an extensive audience Q&A -- full video after the jump.

Splunge!

Alcohol? K-hole? Avant-garde theatre performance?

What do you think?

Wrestling legend Captain Lou Albano passed away today at the age of 76. (Non-Wrestlemaniacs might remember him as Cyndi Lauper's dad in her video for "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" -- she also wrote the foreword to his autobiography, released last year.)

I might just have to stick a mournful rubber band or two on my face for the rest of the day...

UPDATE: Since the original video of NRBQ rocking out with their former manager Capt. Lou was taken off YouTube, here's another good sampler: an interview with Greg "The Hammer" Valentine by Mean Gene Okerlund. Nobody could rock a beer gut quite like Captain Lou.

Regardless of whether the JesusFish on your car has feet or not, you cannot deny the sheer awesomeness of this kid. ¡Qué cojones!

If, like me, you would like to watch this video accompanied by Survivor's "Eye of The Tiger," I've taken the liberty of embedding it below. You're welcome.

Real or fake? Either way, your kid is stupid and you're a terrible parent.

We've all been there.

Great opening to the last episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm -- I'm really looking forward to the Seinfeld not-a-reunion story arc that starts this weekend.

So I guess The Wizard of Oz is coming out on 8-track or something next week, so Netflix whipped up a promo tie-in even more creepy, unsettling and fun than a barrel of flying monkeys -- Oz Yourself.

Unfortunately, my afro didn't translate, but it did keep my shades, which was pretty cool. And by "cool" I mean "nightmarish."

Have fun with it, kids -- I think I'm going to try uploading a Darth Vader pic next....

(Update: movie now after jump...stupid autoplayers.)

As a Floridian, national news stories from my back yard are usually a source of disappointed sighs or outright face-palms. But this story on CNN today, shot at the gentlemen's club right up the street from where I live, had me wiping away tears of pride.

In case you were wondering, yes, you are going to hell for laughing at this.

Reality TV fans: if you thought this phrase was, like, sooooo last year, you're more wrong than a Tila Tequila-brand chastity belt.

Worried about babies having babies? Just show one of these 10 creeptastic doll commercials to your daughter, and she'll be asking Santa Claus for a tubal ligation this Christmas.

Baby Secret, Mattel, 1966

Secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets...KILL SOMEONE!

And yes, I'm pretty sure that is Eve Plumb, TV's Jan Brady, by the way.

ro·bot (rō'bŏt', -bət) n. A mechanical device that sometimes resembles a human and is capable of performing a variety of often complex human tasks on command or by being programmed in advance.

coast·er (kō'stər) n. A small tray, often on wheels, for passing something, such as a wine decanter, around a table.

See also:
Unfortunately-Named Brands, Vol. 1