Yes, this is my second Zach Galifianakis post in as many weeks, but I need you guys to understand the comedic power of this man. I need you to feel it in the sub-cockles of your heart. Because watching Zach at work is like watching puppies face-sex each other. It's fun to watch, kind of creepy, but somehow entirely worth it.

If Chatroulette never gets better than this video featuring Merton doing improvisation while playing the piano, I'd still say it was a great invention.

(Via LaughingSquid)

While you prepare for tomorrow's pints of Guinness, green bagels, parades, and buckets of sick outside bars, let's take a moment and not analyse why we celebrate the Irish, but why we don't celebrate the Scots.

Johnny and I (Clan Campbell and Clan Ferguson respectively) are deeply rooted to our Scottish heritage. I own a kilt. The name "Longshanks" makes my blood boil. I was once head-butted by a fellow Scotsman (my brother). But in the handing out of holidays, the Scots have received the short end of the caber when it comes to American holidays. We need our own day. One in which we can parade, act foolish, and show the rest of America that we can get drunk just like our counterparts across the North Channel. On the following page, I'll detail some amazing facts about Scotland and why our people are worthy of their own holiday and/or parade.

I didn't have a new 3 Chords & the Truth to run this week, so I thought we'd revisit some of the old ones. Take note of a few things:

1. Johnny's ever-changing hat selection
2. My ever-changing hair length
3. The pure fun we have creating these things

Check out a few of my favorites after the jump.

Here's a montage of Peter Graves in Airplane!

As I emerged from my post-coital shower last night, I was struck with something profound and unholy ... I needed some more action. Truth be told, I think getting my hair played with is the bee's knees. Some people opt for a shoulder massage, others like having their toes sucked. But play with my hair and I'll be your forever. (Unless I catch you with our gardener reenacting scenes from Love In The Time of Cholera ... you know who you are.) However, my greatness cannot be contained to just one woman. That's why I've made the pitch above to various ladies around the world, hoping that these wild facts about me will entice them to come to my aid and give me the AXE Hair Action I deserve.

Jokes.com
Julian McCullough - Best Pick-Up Line
comedians.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

While Johnny and I were toiling away on our Secret Squirrel project, we had the pleasure of working with Julian McCullough who was the host of the show we were writing for. And while Julian is exceptionally funny, he's also a really nice guy. And so, while you're at home alone this Friday night with that pint of Mint Chocolate Chip and salivating over that tub of petroleum jelly you just purchased, hold off for a half hour. Check out Julian's Comedy Central Presents which airs at 11:00pm EST/10:00pm CST on Comedy Central (obviously). Or hell, just wank it while you watch ... but aim away from the television. I know Julian and your mom would appreciate that.

Over a smorgasbord of BBQ from Hill Country, Echo and Baier discuss New York State's potential fat tax. On the one hand, it helps stunt the continuing body-width growth of Americans. But on the other hand, it punishes us skinny bastards who are attempting to put on a little weight. (We have issues of our own, having been picked last in kickball)

So sit back, grab a bucket o'wings, maybe a Big Gulp, and listen to us vent/rant about this proposed new tax.

That it's been 4 years since Lazy Sunday came out is shocking to no end. It's hard to remember a time before C.S. Lewis's masterpiece wasn't referred to as The Chronic (what?) Cals of Narnia. That it took 4 years for Chris Parnell and Andy Samberg to reunite for a live version is deplorable. Luckily, Jimmy Fallon was able to get the boys together (with backing support from The Roots) to perform their popular viral video on Late Night.

(Click here for From the Air I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, Appendix, or Bonus)

It's time to mix things up a bit. The last From the Air seemed to trip people up, so I've decided to take a new spin on the game. This time, I've used Google Earth to pick out locations around the world. And rather than give you a flat two-dimensional view of the area, I've allowed for some ... perspective. However, this doesn't necessarily make it easier. Instead of the standard "north-centric" views, these can come at any angle. And while we've used some of these locations in earlier challenges, most of them are brand new. So good luck and have fun!

If you've had the chance to use YouTube's very early version of their closed captioning service, you probably notice it produces Pynchon-ian levels of nonsensical phrases. The last few 3 Chords and the Truth have received the closed captioning treatment, and I've taken a few screenshots to show you some of the odd phrases the service has produced. Lewis Carroll would be proud.

The Oscars are nothing more than highly paid famous people jerking off other highly paid famous people in front of a live audience in the hope that the American public will fall more in love with them ... and give them more money. And because I was forced to sit through the entire ceremony, I thought I'd give you my take on the winners.

Zach Galifianakis is a polarizing comedian. You either think he's absurdly hilarious, or think he's a holdover from a 90's Phish concert. If you watched Saturday Night Live this past weekend, you saw Zach's monologue (embedded after the jump) something I consider to be one of the funnier moments on the show in sometime. While watching the show, it never occurred to me that the oft-bearded Galifianakis shaved his neck warmer before the last skit. The video above sheds some light on how it all went down.

We all know Obama likes the bitches...

Baierman was nice enough to take time out of his busy schedule to record a video podcast with me. In it, we discuss the Winter Olympics, our favorite moments and sports, as well as the curiosity that is Ice Dancing. Baierman comes up with the greatest sport ever, and I make a petition to get him on the board of the I.O.C.