If you're anything like my ex-girlfriend, then you love having balls hit your face. Most non-soul eating sluts who have black hearts and limited intelligence and like to fart in the middle of the night and once called your mom and told her about your drinking disorder and how you once pissed yourself after a night of drinking, don't like having this done to them, especially if the balls are of the small, hard, white variety.

And so, as a holiday treat to you, here is a collection of videos showing people (and animals) getting hit with golf balls.

With rising fuel costs, and people seeking alternate modes of transportation, we're bound to see a rise in accidents for everybody's favorite electronic personal mobility device and uber chick magnet, the Segway. Here is a collection of videos of people falling on their face care of Dean Kamen.

(Please excuse the self-indulgence here. This will only take a minute, I promise.) Eight years ago, my boss at the time told me he and a friend had kayaked across Long Island Sound based on a $50 bet. I didn't believe him. I'd spent 21 years staring at Long Island from Connecticut, wondering if it were possible, and he (with admittedly little kayaking experience) did it on a whim. And so, he told me that he'd do it again. We should get some buddies together, maybe raise some money for local charities, and enjoy some cold beers on the other side.

I never thought it would turn into this.

No sir, I don't have time to talk to you about saving myself. No, I don't want to take a non-passable psychological exam. Free medicine and food if I attend your weekly services? Thanks, but I'll pass. Selling the business of religion needs to be redone, and I'm just the atheist to set it straight.

Something needs to be done. This homeless problem is getting out of hand. No longer can I sit on the sidelines and watch as the laws of humanity are crumbled bit by bit into a heaping mass of selfishness and despair.

That's right, it's time to give homeless people some rules.

I'm impressed by the smallest things. Drops of dew on blades of grass in the morning. The laughter of a child. And when my friend can "pull" a huge hit off a hookah filled with shisha. Such was the occurrence last weekend in Miami as my friend Tim blew us away (no pun intended) with his skills on the pipe.

In the essence of full disclosure, this was part of his bachelor party and this video was the safest thing I could put on the web from the weekend.

This is the third of a series (click here and here) in which we ask loyal YesButNoButYes reader and commenter "Dave" to discuss how he'd handle himself in an awkward situation. Last time, he tackled smoking zones outside office buildings. This time, we ask him to weigh in on ATM kiosks.

Kyle Piccolo asks the question, what if the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons was a therapeutic sage through the medium of super heroic sequential art.

Is there anything more iconic than the Star Wars opening crawl? (OK, perhaps the Statue of Liberty. And all of Shakespeare's works. Some might even argue the Scorpions earlier albums. I digress) For those of you who've always wanted to see your name in yellow font, scrolling toward an infinite point in space, the Star Wars Crawl is here!

(Via the always amazing LaughingSquid)

Well this sucks. Definitely not the news you want to read on a Monday morning. George Carlin died of heart failure last night, and there are seven words I'd like to mutter about how that makes me feel. Carlin, in a lot of ways, paved the road for today's comics. He was clever. He was hilarious. And his twists of the English language were genius. Thanks for the laughs George, you'll be missed.

I put together some of his best material after the jump.

I thought I'd start the summer heat early with the best YouTube videos of Victoria's Secret model/Future Mrs. Echowood, Alessandra Ambrosio.

Like the romantic comedy Shining before it, this trailer for Ferris Bueller's Day Off will make you see the film in a whole new (darker) light.

(Via Transbuddha)

The most popular search term coming into my personal blog is "quitting life." My blog is neither a suicide prevention site, nor have I ever had fantasies of taking my own life. Simply, I wrote a post a few years ago about what I'd do if I could leave my current existence behind and start again. And with the summer quickly approaching, we'll soon find us in a time that breeds daydreaming about doing something else. Anything else. And so, I open up the comments section to discussions about what YBNBY readers would be doing differently if they could quit their current life.

It's not about how much money you make. It's not about how nice you are to animals and orphans. When it comes down to it, it's all about penis size. Women have known this for years. And according to the chart above, it would appear there can be "too much of a good thing." Take a look at the chart, see where you fall on the girth to length ratio, and don't feel bad if you fall outside the acceptable satisfaction limits.

(Via Designnotes.info)

It's called Contact Juggling and it's rather fun to watch.

(Via Wohba!)