Perception is reality. For instance, no matter how much money Microsoft throws into their Zune advertising campaigns, I'll always think it's a sub-par iPod ripoff. Friend and marketing genius, Noah Brier, built a site called Brand Tags that tracks what people think about certain companies. Take it for a spin, see what other people think about your favorite companies. Remember, there are no wrong answers.

I'm only 3 years late on this one. NASA, who haven't spent nearly enough time creating the flying car, spent our hard earned tax money creating a movie featuring the particularly destructive 2005 Hurricane Season.

Full disclosure: I'm not a car guy. In fact, I don't even own a car. But I do know what looks cool. And the Iconic GTR Roadster is something I want. Not only does it have an amazing retro look, but the thing is fast. (200+ mph) It also has a robotic gas cap opener. I can't be burdened with opening my own gas cap! Plus, the car is almost guaranteed to get me laid. Now, I don't have the $600k necessary to purchase such a fine automobile. So, I leave it to the exceptional (and generous) readers of YesButNoButYes to support me in funding this purchase.

Is it just me, or do you get the feeling that the Earth is royally pissed off at us?

• Earthquake in China
• Cyclone in Myanmar
• Florida Wildfires
• Chilean Volcano (Thanks to Miss Cellania for directing me to the photo above.)
• Storms in the Midwest
• Seals Raping Penguins

Why make yourself look like a lion when you can turn your pet dog into one?

(Via Hannah Bae's Flickr Photo Stream)

There are some truly excellent programs on television. (30 Rock, The Office, The Colbert Report, etc...) However, these shows are often eclipsed by the type of shows that make you want to face punch a small animal. I'm talking about programs that cater to the lowest common denominator; people who lack the intelligence to peel an orange. Men and women who think hard hitting news involves Lindsey Lohan's breasts.

I spent almost ten years working in television and I learned a thing or two. (Most importantly: don't work in television.) With this knowledge, I thought I'd list how I'd improve popular television shows to make them truly interesting to watch.

I know, I've gone a bit overboard with the Grand Theft Auto IV posts lately. This will be my last, I promise. It's just that, when I'm not causing chaos around Liberty City, I'm dreaming about causing chaos in Liberty City. It should also be known that I don't consider myself a gamer. While I enjoy playing video games, I don't spend the bulk of my free time playing them. I don't read gaming magazines. I own only one console. I'm also not a virgin.

After supporting Take-Two by being part of the half-billion take they've made on the game in the last week, I thought I'd mention things GTA IV has taught me since last Tuesday.

I take back all those things I said about New York commuters. After watching this video, I have a new found respect for that guy with the armpits that smell like onions and whose hand just happens to graze my genital region one too many times.

(Via Evan Almighty)

This scene had me laughing to tears last night. (Which is hard when you're born without tear ducts.)

And you thought our minds were dirty?

It's getting harder for me to separate reality from fiction. Walking to work today, I was very tempted to do a carjack and shoot some people along the way. My only punishments would be either getting out of the hospital, or the police station. (Money and weapons would be taken, but I could live with that.)

It's stories like this that make me happy I'm incapable of love. (No, Star Jones has nothing to do with the article, but feel free to take up the comments sections with laments about her broken marriage.)

(Via CNN.com)

This is the year of competition. Obama vs. Hillary. Torch Runners vs. Tibetan Protesters. My World of Warcraft Guild vs. Shadowfang Keep. And most importantly, Kenny vs. Spenny. For the uninitiated, Kenny vs. Spenny is a Canadian television show in which two friends compete in such trials as: Who Can Stay Naked Longer, Who Can Commit the Most Crime, Who Can Catch the Biggest Fish. At the end of each episode, the loser has to submit themselves to a humiliation, which include such punishments as having a swarm of bees on your genitals, licking the handle of a porn store, and getting spanked by your mother. It's highly addictive, it's sophomoric, and it's an excellent thesis on the dichotomy of good and evil. (There are videos after the jump, most are NSFW but all will have you laughing.)

Slightly absurdest, this video will grow on you. It took me a few viewings. (Note, NSFW due to language.)

At 10:15 this morning, I was attempting to buy Midnight Cards online. This is not much different than any other morning, except, strangely, I wasn't naked from the waist down. Artists have a way of taking simple mundane things like brushing teeth or starving dogs and turning them into art. And sometimes, this art can actually be interesting. Say, for instance, you take a bunch of designers and have them take a picture at 10:15 every morning. Then you post said photos to a web page.