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{ Recent posts by Allen Smithee }
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Some Things I Hate About Working - A Partial List: Chapter 4

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Community Candy Dishes:

That’s a slightly misleading header; I’m all about free comfort food while being submerged daily into the nine-to-six seventh circle of hell. More specifically I hate community candy dishes that don’t have individually-wrapped-for-all-our-safety treats. With the amount of germs swimming around in that thing (see Chapter 2: Dirty Bitches That Refuse to Wash-Up segment) you might as well skip the M&M’s and just go around the office and lick everyone’s asshole one time… and don’t forget the janitor, I know he’s sampled the selection, he needs all the confectionary incentive he can get to keep the garbage properly sorted (Chapter 1).

Continue reading "Some Things I Hate About Working - A Partial List: Chapter 4"...
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EXCUSE ME, SIR! YOU HAVE A CRIPPLED MAN STUCK TO YOUR BUMPER!

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Man in wheelchair gets ‘lodged’ into the grill of a moving semi-truck.

You can call me an asshole if you want to, but this story really brightened my day, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

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Run for Cover- Seriously

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Every now and then a web link comes along shinning so bright it needs no introduction.

So just trust me on this one, and feast your eyes on the treasures within: ‘The worst album covers ever created.’

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Desperately Seeking Lisa

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Has anyone seen this Hair Stylist?

A lot of horrible things happened last week, the on-going war, genocide, the polar ice caps are still melting, and a whole litter of legless Chihuahuas were born as a result of greed and inbreeding. None of those however hold a candle to the socio-personal travesty that has befallen me. I lost my hairdresser. She left my salon, and those heartless bastards wont tell me where she went.

Continue reading "Desperately Seeking Lisa"...
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Some Things I Hate About Working - A Partial List: Chapter 3

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Ill-defined Job Titles

What in the hell do half of the people you work with actually do? I mean what does the Account Coordinator actually coordinate? What exactly does the Chief Operations Officer operate? And what in gods name does a Senior Vice President preside over?

Continue reading "Some Things I Hate About Working - A Partial List: Chapter 3"...
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Some Things I Hate About Working- A Partial List: Chapter 2

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See, even retarded kids can do it.

Dirty Bitches That Refuse to Wash-Up:

Since when did the confines of the white-collar workforce become a third world country? I’ve had a lot of jobs in my adventures as a temporary and permanent employee, and this I know: every office in the northern hemisphere has at least one skank who can’t be bothered with the modern inconveniences of using a soap dispenser and running water.

Continue reading "Some Things I Hate About Working- A Partial List: Chapter 2"...
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My New Home Sweet Home

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Hi, I’m Angry About Nothing, my hobbies include and are strictly limited to bitching about everything. The fine staff here at YBNBY have asked me to share a few thoughts (i.e. opinions) with you from time to time. Though it puts some serious limitations on my options, I was thinking I would keep things positive for my first ‘official’ post. So here it goes, you can read it… or not:

Continue reading "My New Home Sweet Home"...
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Saturday Night at the Movies: 'Buddha Style

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After an admittedly not-so-brief absence due to twinsy baby madness, we return to Saturday Night Movie Madness with all the aplomb and bearing of a hobo with a head wound. Let's begin!

  • Have you wondered what exactly the writers of "Lost" are smoking? Olde English has the answer!
  • US Comedy and Arts Fest winners Summer of Tears gives us an inside look at the American Recording sessions with Rick Rubin and Johnny Cash
  • More Johnny Cash fun by way of Sad Kermit, who turns in this rousing cover of Cash covering NIN's 'Hurt'
  • Brad Neely's Professor Brothers give us one seriously messed up look at US History (also on SuperDeluxe)
  • And finally, the Evolution Scare is put to rest by none other than a jar of delicious new-life free peanut butter, thus proving the adage that Creationist Science is indistinguishable from Creationist Parody!
  • There you have it, kids! One week worth of Internet goodness compressed into a tasty five bite sandwich! See you next week!

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    Saturday Night at the Movies: 'Buddha Style

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    Another week and another digital bounty of media goodness offered up like a fatted calf filled with crotch hits and emo bloggers. Truly, tis a wondrous age we live in.

  • Normally this kind of thing wouldn't be my bag, but compressing 16 hours of work into 3 minutes is pretty cool. Especially if it's showing the transformation of Air Canada Centre's floor going from ice to hardwood
  • Love beatboxing but don't know where to start? Everything you need to know is within Beardyman's Kitchen Diaries
  • As the titular kingpin of an online empire, Net Neutrality means a great deal to me. It should mean a lot to you, the discerning internet surfer, as well. Folks, it's time to Save the Internet
  • My utter hatred of Project Greenlight is offset by my deep and devoted love of all things Ray Wise, so there's no shame in me pimping Hellhole, the Internet series by the winners of Project Greenlight 2. It's creepy, funny, and bizarre all at once.
  • I'm a huge fan of Satoshi Kon, so it's with no small level of glee that I present to you the trailer for his newest film, Paprika. All of Kon's films deal heavily with the idea of a subjective reality, and this looks to be no exception.
  • It's been 4 years since Ryan and Dorkman threw down jedi-style in a science lab, and now they're back whupping even more lightsaber ass. Prepare yourselves for the nerdy awesomeness that is Ryan vs. Dorkman 2
  • Well, we've attempted to save the internet, learned to beatbox, and seen the best 7 minute lightsaber battle ever filmed in a tortilla factory. I'd say that's a pretty good week, wouldn't you?

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    Saturday Night at the Movies: 'Buddha Style

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    Greetings, all! Alphamonkey from Transbuddha.com here to round up some of the best visual love and ocular delights from this week's generous Internet helpings. Let's get started, shall we?

  • SXSW's Grind House Trailer Contest results in the greatest movie title of all time: Hobo With a Shotgun.
  • Remember Matrix Ping Pong? So do the Scissor Sisters, if their new clip for 'She's My Man' is to judge.
  • Not the best exactly, but this music video atrocity is a perfect example of a bad idea taken to it's logical (if terrible) conclusion. Behold the power of What What!
  • Who says stripping isn't an art? Not Skip n' Dale, that's for sure.
  • Sure, maybe the Christmas boat has sailed, but it's never too late for a little holiday cheer.
  • And finally, if you're not following Brad Neely's Professor Brother series, you're missing out on some of the finest 'net comedy going (not to mention the some of the most creative uses of profanity outside of a Tourette's Camp).
  • Some fun, eh? I'll see you next week at the movies. We'll, maybe not see, so much as silently stalk from a couple rows back. You know what I mean.

    Leave a comment on "Saturday Night at the Movies: 'Buddha Style"...
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    Aliens denied landing privileges at O'Hare

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    Many people, including high level management airline employees at Chicago's O'Hear airport claim to have seen a UFO on November 7. Despite the fact that the reposts come from level headed people in the aviation industry, the response of American Airlines and the Feds has been dismissive.

    Chicago Tribune: In the sky! A bird? A plane? A ... UFO?

    NPR: UFO Is Reported at O'Hare; Feds Are Silent

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    Letterman dropped his balls in SF long before Fallon

    we've covered the exquisite Bravia spot before.

    But little did we know that it was done on Letterman years before.

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    The 28th Annual Mooning of Amtrak

    The 28th Annual Mooning of Amtrak is Saturday, July 14, 2007, Laguna Niguel, (Orange County) California, U.S.A.

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    Via Nixta Stinks

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    I am confused

    and perhaps so are they, Is this gay or straight, serious or ironic.
    Definitely postmodern in its confliction. I feel funny... in the
    feelings.

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    I guess it was only a matter of time.

    Introducing the Wonderjock. Available at Aussie Bum.

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    Since the launch seven days ago, AussieBum says it has sold 50,000 pairs of "Wonderjock". Yahoo! Business Story.

    Leave a comment on "I guess it was only a matter of time."...
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