
Community Candy Dishes:
That’s a slightly misleading header; I’m all about free comfort food while being submerged daily into the nine-to-six seventh circle of hell. More specifically I hate community candy dishes that don’t have individually-wrapped-for-all-our-safety treats. With the amount of germs swimming around in that thing (see Chapter 2: Dirty Bitches That Refuse to Wash-Up segment) you might as well skip the M&M’s and just go around the office and lick everyone’s asshole one time… and don’t forget the janitor, I know he’s sampled the selection, he needs all the confectionary incentive he can get to keep the garbage properly sorted (Chapter 1).