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Diff'rent Strokes Star Dies of ... a Stroke?
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We're sad to see the passing of television star Gary Coleman. Indeed life is too short. And we'd never poke fun at someone's death, especially if that person was an 80's sitcom star. But we can't help but wonder (SATC 2 playing in a theater near you this weekend) the irony of dying via something that was spelled out in the name of your television show. Thomas Gallant and I were going back and forth on IM discussing the potential ways other 80s sitcom stars might take the final bow in accordance with the name of their show.
  • Alan Thicke dies of calf cramps
  • Kim Fields goes while having rough sex
  • Justine Bateman bites it through improper use of neckwear
  • Mark Paul Gosselaar killed during an accident at the Liberty Bell
  • Candace Cameron bled to death as a result of a paper cut in Las Vegas
  • Patrick Duffy falls down three flights of stairs
  • Ricky Schroeder chokes on an eating utensil made from a precious metal
  • Kadeem Hardison dies in an explosion during a chartered flight to Mars
I'm sure you sick bastards can think of more. With my ticket to Hades in hand, I ask that you let 'em rip in the comments section.
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31 Comments

Bill Cosby runs down Malcolm Jamal Warner for starring in "Fools Gold."

said Mr. Brightside on May 28, 2010 3:26 PM.

Ted Danson chokes on broken glass chard.

said Mr. Brightside on May 28, 2010 3:27 PM.

"Whachou talking about Willis?"

(Sorry, it had to be done.)

RIP Gary.

PS, I think Kim Fields is already dead already.

said E on May 28, 2010 3:28 PM.

I think what we will remember Gary for his immortal catch phrase. "Excuse me, perchance what was that you were talking about, Willis?"

said Johnny Wright on May 28, 2010 3:28 PM.

Bronson Pinchot stabbed in alley by unknown assailant.

said Mr. Brightside on May 28, 2010 3:29 PM.

Christopher Hewitt drinks himself - wait he's already dead.

said Mr. Brightside on May 28, 2010 3:30 PM.

Tony Danza killed in an altercation with Bruce Springsteen.

said Echowood on May 28, 2010 3:34 PM.

Good one Echo.

said E on May 28, 2010 3:37 PM.

Scott Baio dies of electrocution. (I'll give you a minute to think about that one.)

said Echowood on May 28, 2010 3:39 PM.

Soleil Moon Frye gets trampled at a Clash concert.

said Echowood on May 28, 2010 3:41 PM.

Jason Bateman suffers cardiac arrest during chess game.

said Mr. Brightside on May 28, 2010 3:43 PM.

Peter Scolari is smothered to death at a strip club.

said Echowood on May 28, 2010 3:44 PM.

Mayim Bialik dies of asphyxiation from overexposure to pollen

said Mr. Brightside on May 28, 2010 3:44 PM.

Neil Patrick Harris dies as a result of a young doctors error.

said Baierman on May 28, 2010 3:59 PM.

Emmanuel Lewis beaten to death by a Dictionary.

said Baierman on May 28, 2010 4:01 PM.

Baierman with the layup! Noah Wiley expires in emergency room.

said Mr. Brightside on May 28, 2010 4:02 PM.

David Hasselhof's family denied life insurance benefits due to nobility clause in policy.

said Mr. Brightside on May 28, 2010 4:06 PM.

Hector Elizondo trampled in stampede during rally for 2016 Olympics at Soldier Field.

said Mr. Brightside on May 28, 2010 4:10 PM.

Rob Lowe burned to death when tickling explosive sesame street doll

said Mr. Brightside on May 28, 2010 4:12 PM.

Jim J. Bullock is suffocated with down pillows

said binne on May 28, 2010 4:59 PM.

Sarah Jessica Parker shot in head with a four-sided nail by a horse

said binne on May 28, 2010 5:08 PM.

"Sarah Jessica Parker shot in head with a four-sided nail by a horse"

Bwaaahahahahahahahaha!

said Brother Bill on May 28, 2010 5:54 PM.

Betty White dies from drowning in urine.

said Echowood on May 28, 2010 6:47 PM.

Bob Newhart dies during triple by-pass surgery.

said Echowood on May 28, 2010 6:48 PM.

Micheal J Fox found bound and gagged in his father's basement.

said Sheriff Pablo on May 28, 2010 10:26 PM.

Tom Wopat drowns in a pond next to the 18th green.

said Sheriff Pablo on May 28, 2010 10:32 PM.

Echowood, thanks for the laughs, especially the Tony Danza one :)

said Cindy on May 29, 2010 5:58 AM.

Bill Cosby commits suicide

said binne on May 29, 2010 12:12 PM.

mr t actually had t-cell lymphoma.. but wait for it - t-cell lymphoma is caused my an overabundance of t-cells.

don't ask me what t-cells are, ask neil patrick harris. all i know is the only thing that came close to killing mr. t was the t itself..

said El Rey de los Monos on May 29, 2010 2:50 PM.

Crack team of doctors blamed for Mr. T's death. They claim it isn't their fault and are now working as doctors of fortune. If you have t-cell lymphoma, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire them.

said Mr. Brightside on May 29, 2010 3:23 PM.

Ernest Thomas dies of Alzeimer's Disease.

Suzanne Somers is either a.) shot by a rookie female cop or
b.) thrown from a compact convertible, while the 2
other occupants are spared.

David Rasche is murdered by way of a blunt-force trauma.

Paul Reiser is the victim of a hate crime (80's) OR
is killed by a stalker. (90's)

Carol Mansell dies in a plane crash.

Tim Allen dies in a house fire caused by faulty electrical wiring. (90's)

said ctizzie on September 15, 2010 6:03 PM.
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