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An AXE to Grind
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This will come as a surprise to most of you, but I regularly use (and broadcast the use of) AXE products. AXE has been nice enough to send me on some amazing trips, ply me with free product, and offer up prizes for many contests we've run here. Looking back over my tenure on this blog, the pieces I've written with an AXE-flavor are some of my favorite. I figured a retrospective on my affiliation with AXE is in order. I have TONS of AXE product to give away before this site shuts down for good. So I've devised a little contest. AXE is known for their interesting branding and product names. (Rise, Twist, etc...) In the comments section below, come up with the best name (and ingredients) for an AXE product. I'll pick a handful of those I deem the best and most clever and send them some AXE products.

Let 'er rip.
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20 Comments

That's a terrible picture of an ax. You may as well have just used clipart.

said Mr. Brightside on May 27, 2010 3:12 PM.

California Sun Bath Gel
made with real Agave Tequila and Megan Fox's bath water (TM)

said E on May 27, 2010 3:18 PM.

Now I'm feeling all self conscious about the axe photo. Thanks for calling me out on phoning this one in. I'm changing it.

said Echowood on May 27, 2010 3:42 PM.

Here's my idea:

Sizemore: A faint essence of vodka mixed with stripper.

said Echowood on May 27, 2010 4:40 PM.

Product name: "Crickets"

Ingredients: Essence of Ass Crickets

"Yea, I want some Axe Crickets action."

said Ben Lurkin on May 27, 2010 4:51 PM.

"Smellin of Lohan"

Basically its neat hooch.

said CFreddy on May 27, 2010 4:56 PM.

Clinton:

The slight aroma of a cheap cigar, and taint ...

said Ben Lurkin on May 27, 2010 4:59 PM.

Eau de Heidi Fleiss - day old Sizemore (see above) and meth.

said E on May 27, 2010 5:03 PM.

YBNBY shaving cream - Bacon Scent, Beer and with just a dab of Monkey Sweat.

Guido Beach Cologne - cheap fake tan scent mixed with cheap industrial hair gel scent.

said E on May 27, 2010 5:09 PM.

Puppy dreams, lemon zest, and 1000% awesome juice - Chuck Norris's "Texas Breeze"

said bsilver94 on May 27, 2010 5:56 PM.

BP - Saltwater, oil and pelican carcasses.

said Echowood on May 27, 2010 6:24 PM.

Dock of the Bay, by Michael Bolton - musk, sea breeze, cedar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MriHyt8S2P4&feature=fvst

said E on May 27, 2010 8:40 PM.

"Disco Fever" by Axe!
Aramis Cologne, Glitter, with a hint of Wild Turkey & Coke.

said EffenIdontcare on May 27, 2010 9:10 PM.

Paris:
Crispy Clap encrusted cum stained bed sheets and a bar of hotel soap.
"Now that's hot."

said LightsOut on May 27, 2010 9:34 PM.

For the budget-minded:

Axe Intervention - smell like you just opened up a can of worms.

said Tim on May 27, 2010 9:52 PM.

For the trendy:

Axe Spice - contains remnants from the Old Spice bottles left by the deceased of the local retirement home.

(formerly marketed as Axe Clueless)

said Tim on May 27, 2010 10:03 PM.

Axe Elrose - contains a secret, time-lapse formula that includes one-part kickass rock singer, one-part vanishing act and one-part sad and no longer relevant.

said Tim on May 27, 2010 10:12 PM.

Axe GOFF* - contains 100% Vedder sweat from Pearl Jam live.

*Get Outta my Fuckin' Face

said Tim on May 27, 2010 10:17 PM.

Pelosi:
A mixture of spoiling yeast, dirty money and corruption with a dash of Alzheimers.

said LightsOut on May 28, 2010 7:45 AM.

You have until 6pm EST tonight to get your submissions in. I'll pick the five best and send you some sweet AXE products. So get them in soon. Here's one I thought of on my way to work today:

The W - Smells of privilege and idiocy, with notes of alcohol and cocaine.

said Echowood on May 28, 2010 12:59 PM.
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