Bill Gates
Bobby Knight
Ann Coulter

Sarah Palin
Bill O'Reilly
and in a world with no consequences
Chuck Norris

my ex-husband
my ex-husband
my ex-husband

This counts because he is a psycho with multiple personalities (all of whom need to be bitch-slapped)

Dick Cheney
Rush Limbaugh
Rick Perry

Me,
Myself
and I

Taunee (please come back)

Todd Palin (slapping Sarah would do no good ...and she might enjoy it)

The officer who gives me parking tickets for not moving my car to another space every two hours. 40 empty parking spaces in the lot EVERY DAY and this guy earn his bread by making sure we have to stop what we are doing 3 times a day to mover our vehicles. And if we are too busy making money and paying taxes that fund his salary, then it's five bucks a pop. And he grins when writing his tickets. He knows damn well his job is useless, but enjoys it soooo much. Isn't there some crime he could be preventing? A cat in a tree, something? A Bitch Slap for him!

Ken Finkleman : Writer and Director of Airplane II.

Dennis Radar : Serial murderer and rapist. (bitchslapping is only one of many things i'd like to do to that waste of oxygen)

Charlie O. Finley : For helping bring the designated hitter to MLB.

Nancy Pelosi's Mom

111th Congress

The tow truck driver who got my car down off of that guy wire for that major utility pole, which apparently provided electrical services for 6 square blocks of businesses and residential areas. It's not like I put my car up there like that on purpose asshole.

Locke from lost (any version of him, he is just so annoying)

Every white girl in a horror movie - they need some sense knocked into them

and

My brother when he plays halo - one can only take hearing "pwned" "boom headshot" "no scoooope" and "oh you gonna cry now" so many times.

1.Baierman
2.Echowood
3.Johnny Wright

...only that they might enjoy it.

Just joking folks.

I was third in order of being slapped. I consider that a win. Thanks Jamester.

JW

1. Dennis Miller - you're now about as funny as David Duke stand up at a bah mitzvah

2. Syndey Crosby - All of Canada thinks you are the greatest hockey player ever. They seem to forget you were pretty non-existent in the last couple of games until that one 3 second time frame. I hope your gold tarnishes.

3. Kevin Trudeau - you are a liar and a cheat. I have an idea of a natural cure for all your legal issues: jump off a mountain into a lake of sulfuric acid.

In keeping in line with Bitch Slap's themes of gratuitous violence, overt stereotypes, and heteronormativity I'd have to say:

1. Roger Ebert
2. A deserving woman
3. Me, by a guy I picked up in a gay bar (Of course I'm straight and if you tell anybody I'll kill you!)

Anyone who dares give Bitch Slap a bad review deserves to be punished.

1. Joe Leydon of Variety (http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117941194.html?categoryid=31&cs=1).
Instead of commenting on your review, I'd rather bring attention to your name: Leydon and (in the most cheesiest reply) - have YOU been "Laid" lately?

2. Kirk Honeycutt of The Hollywood Reporter (http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/film-reviews/bitch-slap-film-review-1004057221.story).
I will refrain this time from making fun of some critics name, but comment on the line: "So feel free to go out for a popcorn and soda at any time during "Bitch." You won't miss a thing."
I guess that more or less sums up your personal love life: popcorn and soda take precedent and no matter what, no one will miss a thing.

3. Dustin Rowlans of Pajiba (http://www.pajiba.com/film_reviews/bitch-slap-review.php).
Dear Mr Dustin, your Shakespearean use of profanity makes the audience want even more of Bitch Slap. Why, your charming use of the English language has us mere mortals shaking in our triple-D bras wondering if you even saw the movie to begin with. Alas, of all the critics out there, you deserve to have an entire Continent Bitch Slap the living sh*t out of you!

1. Sarah Palin
2. Michael Bay
3. Jay Leno

3 solid choices from Twilightlooms. You cats are gonna have to bring it to top those.

Though I'm not eligible, I'm just going to put my person I'd love to slap the piss out of: A-Rod.

That is all...

1.Ann Coulter
2.Sarah Palin
3.Nicole "Snooki"Polizzi

Jared from Subway
Tiger Woods
Michael Phelps

1. My 6th grade math teacher. I was writing on the board because she made me and she said my handwriting was terrible. (which it was/is.) For the rest of the 50 minute period she made me work on my handwriting over and over again. In hindsight I should've just wrote "FUCK YOU" on their, as it doesn't take perfect handwriting to get that.

2. Santa Claus. Because no one ever wants to slap the shit out of Santa.

3. An orphan. Any orphan will do.

1) NY Gov. David Paterson - Ask anyone in NY State!
2) NY Public Service Comission - In bed with #3.
3) National Grid Power Company - Why does it cost double in delivery charges for electricity? $100 elec charge + $200 delivery on top of that? CRAZY!

1. Who ever thought up "Compulsory Internet Filtering" in Australia. It can never work and will cost a fuckload of money and stress for the people who have to make it happen.

2. Stephen King. Ive been though my reasons in the forum before, but 6 words sum up the main part of my irritation... "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon"

3. Brother Bills parking cop. Because seriously, that guy sounds like a douche.

Bill: Taunee will never come back because I bitchslapped her good.

I can agree with a lot of these, but for my 3 bitch slaps of those already posted...
Jay Leno
A-Roids
Dick Cheney

Scara, I thank you for that bitchslap. Timely and just. As a bitchslap should be.

Pat Robertson

Bill Maher

Keith Olbermann (Using Ann Coulter as a club)

Tiger Woods

John Mayer

Owen Wilson

Yeah Bman. I think that's Coulter's whole shtick. She's like a heel in pro wrestling. She gets the whole crowd riled up like the Iron Sheik.

At least she wasn't thisclose to getting elected. Donchaknow?

Ann Coulter, definitely
A-Rod (yuck the fankies!)
The dude sitting across from me who literally sleeps half the day away and makes more than I do!

JUDGE JUDY cause u should bitch slap a bitch
Larry King (is his show a verion of weekend at bernies?)
Al Gore. Well meaning, gets on my last freakin nerve. pompous ass

carrot top
david caruso
george bush jr.

1. My girlfriend, because she would dig it

2. Her girlfriend, because my girlfriend would dig it

3. Christina Hendricks, because they both would dig that

From Action Abe's girlfriend: he's right, I'd dig it.