When it's comes to perfumes, I'm partial to Eternity. If my lady wants my attention, she'll wear it. That's just a fragrance I like.
At least, that's what I thought I liked.
Then the other night as sat together on the couch watching TV, my nose noticed a better scent: BBQ chicken.
Leaning closer I discovered the scent leftover from our dinner was still swirling around her cheeks.
Ooo.
I told her she should wear that more often. And that got me thinking....
Perfume makers and fragrance folks would have women believe that if they want to smell attractive, create desire and grab the attention of the opposite sex, they should wear these strange, flowery and costly designer chemical concoctions.
There's supposedly even a science to scent making.
Pah-leeeaz!
Ladies, the right smell to attract attention is right under your nose. Or around the house. And it's not expensive at all.
Start in your pantry.
Before you dismiss this option, you need to answer a simple question:
Do you think most men would rather you smell like something made by the women on the left or the guy on the right?
No offense Donatella, but if a lady smells like The Colonel's fried chicken or buttery biscuits, chances are better that she'll get more attention.
Now that we got straight, here's some more helpful fragrances you might want to try.
Instead of Obsession, Dior, and Lady GaGa's Yaya, how about...
- Bacon
- Cheetos
- Meat Tenderizer
- BBQ Sauce (any variety)
- Curly Fries
- Pork Chops
- A Football (pro or college leather pigskin, not a pee wee ball)
- Buffalo Wings
- Bounty Fabric Softener
- Salsa
- Guinness
- Sirloin Steak
- Funnel Cake
- Fresh baked Donuts
- Megan Fox
- Buttermilk Biscuits
- Melted Butter
- McDonalds French Fries
- Popcorn
- Nacho Cheese
- Sawdust
- Chocolate Cream Pie
There's even more listed here.
Okay, since we're on the topic. Here's what not to smell like:
- Stripper pole
- Burning hair
- Asparagus
- Moth balls
- Locker Room
- Hockey gloves*
- New car (that's the cars job)
- Madonna
- Whatever perfume worn by his Mom.
- Limburger Cheese (It may taste good but it don't smell good)
- Windex (or any cleaning fluid for that matter)
*a lady that doesn't mind the smell of hockey hands is still a keeper.
Got it?
Great. It's just another helpful tip from me, your friend and avid smeller.
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Coming from a female who used to smell like barbecue every day, it's not sexy at all for us. Smelling fresh and clean makes us feel better about ourselves. When we feel better about ourselves, good things can happen. When we smell like a slab of meat, nothing's happening that you'll enjoy, no matter how good you think we smell.
Just sayin'.
I say leather is always a good smell. ; )
Seriously though, you might be onto something with "melted butter". I can see that working.
You also forgot another to die for smell - "old comics". Sigh :)
Feel free to add your request.
Eau De Porn Mag.