I'm just not.
It's extremely unlikely I ever will be. It would be like all of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, Ernest Hemingway deciding that he would only shop at Brooks Brothers--about as likely as a tightly packed snowball surviving a day in the pit of Hades. Pretty slim, I'd wager.
I will dress properly for work or any religious or formal function, but other than that, you'll most likely find me in a well worn pair of jeans and a Beatles T-shirt. I am not a fan of having a corporate logo across my chest. Let me get this straight, I pay you 25 smackers to walk through midtown Manhattan advertising your product? I pay a fee to be a mobile billboard? No, thank you, Mr. Abercrombie. No, thank you.
I'd rather wear a banana hammock to Carnegie Hall.
One of the negatives of this practice is that I sneer at the blokes I see wearing a shirt of a band that I think is terrible. I try not to, but I do. "Good Charlotte? Really?" Or, "For crying out loud, you went to a Fall Out Boy concert? Pathetic." Sorry, but I do it. I'm not alone, either.
That finger is pointing to me. In the center, Who T-shirt proudly displayed.
The first rock show I attended was on September 20, 1992: Pearl Jam's legendary free Drop in The Park concert at Magnuson Park in Seattle. It was a seminal moment in my life. I still regale any that will listen with tales of that day: how we arrived the night before because we were so excited and how Eddie Vedder climbed into the rafters 20 feet above the stage during "Porch." That day I bought two shirts. I still have them. And, writing this, I can't think of a show I have been to when I didn't go home with a shirt from the seedy vendors outside. It serves as a tangible memory that I take with me after the night is over.
You see, the band T-shirt has very little to do with our immaturity or refusal to grow up. (Fine, I do have a slight Peter Pan complex, but that is another kettle of beans.) The reason we wear them is we are proud of who we associate with. For that reason, I have scoured the World Wide Web to find a Tom Waits, or Robert Johnson, or Screamin' Jay Hawkins shirt.
I'm with them.
Selah...
(Editors Note: While writing this piece, Johnny was wearing an orange Ramones T-shirt.)
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