From The Rock and Roll Status Desk...We are sad to report the death of Bret Michaels' status as a rock star. Time of death is still unclear, pending a musical ethics autopsy, but reports are placing his career at around 27-years-old.
Michaels will feature a duet with Disney Channel star Miley Cyrus on his upcoming horrendous solo record.
Signs of Michaels' rock star standing and musical morals were on their last legs in recent years. The facelifts, the botox, the wigs and especially his VH1 show Rock of Love were all signs of deterioration.
A small service for Bret Michaels' rock star status will be held at the Whisky A Go-Go on the Sunset Strip this Friday at midnight. Light refreshments will be served.
The evidence:
Scoff all you want Poison fans, but the Stones would never have recorded a song with Annette Funicello.
Bret Michaels' Musical Credibility: 1983-2010. R.I.P.
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He has kids, right? Daughters, I believe, who are right around the age of Miley Cyrus' fanbase. He's only doing what many other stars with kids have done. He's using his fame to make himself cooler in the eyes of his children.
Hell, even Eddie Murphy started making kid-friendly movies after he had kids.
How did that work out for Eddie Murphy?
I'm teasing you, Busty...
Bret Michael's credibility in music might have ended with the wearing all that make-up on the album cover release of Poison's first "Look what the cat dragged in" album.
Not that I own or still listen to that album or anything.
The fact that he's lasted this long is a testament to America's love of cheese, trash and the catchy chorus.
And I wonder if the Stones would have done a duet with Annette Funicello in 1965, if the $$ was right.
Shit, they're willing to play weddings now.
Baierman is not kidding about the Stones playing your wedding. It will just cost you $5 million pounds.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/music-news/6075953/Rolling-Stones-named-most-expensive-wedding-act.html
Actually, working with Miley Cyrus probably *enhances* Brett Michael's street cred.
Ah, innuendo. We love it around here. Nice one, E.
Actually, my first reaction to this story was in the other direction. What were Miley Cyrus' people thinking? I couldn't hum a song by her or (or Poison) myself, but a quick search on-line shows both her debut albums went to Billboard #1, one of her singles was the fastest rising hit song in the history of her record label, she's had multiple hit films (cartoon voices, concert films, cameo roles), a Golden Globe nomination, two world tours that sold out in record time, and her TV series is the answer to the trivia question, "what is the highest rated THE MOST VIEWED scripted cable TV show in the world?" (maybe the Sopranos later beat her out?). She was listed in Time magazine's Top 100 most influential people in the world in 2008, and ranked between 29-35 in Forbes Celebrity 100 list in 2008-2009. Her "memoir" (she's 17 years old, by the way) went to NYT #1 bestseller in children's books. So, if you were agent, would you say, "Hey Miley, why not do a duet with that bandana guy from Rock of Love Bus"
Michael makes a good point. Why record with a has-been?
Hey, Johnny! I didn't say it was a GOOD idea!
You got me there, my friend.
The Stones were so hopped up on junk back then, I think they would have certainly recorded with Annette. Plus, Mick is such a ladies man, he would have jumped at the chance to get into the Mouseketeers club.
Now that I listen to this song clip, Miley's part reminds me of Axl's Rose's singing in Don Henley's "I will not go quietly." She's just a glorified back up singer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-Je2-3Ax-E
Her daddy made her do it. He owed Bret since he'd borrowed his black leather pants back in the days of "Achy Breaky" and the power mullet.
We'll enter that "Achy- Breaky Leather Pant Gambit" as one official of he theories for this nonsense, Ben
Atta kid.