I've lived in New York City for almost 10 years. I've seen a lot of shit. I once watched a pigeon dry-hump a cockroach. A homeless person once forced me to eat a fingernail clipping cupcake. But that sign above, posted on the doors of my office building? That was something new.

My first thought was, "I need to double flush." But my second thought, and I think most people's minds would go here, was zombies. "IMMINENTLY PERILOUS TO LIFE" isn't some slogan they slap on the back of Fruit-Loops due to their high-sugar content. No, I was quite sure there was a horde of zombies roaming the halls of my office and there was only one man who could take them out.

Sticky Pete, our doorman.

Unfortunately, Stick Pete was out in Pennsylvania visiting his family, so I decided to check it out for myself.

I don't know much about video games, but I have a sneaking suspicion a lot of you play Tomb Raider.

"The senior powder puff cheerleaders from Carroll High School 2009-2010 perform their dance routine for the entire school."