From The New Species Desk...

It seems a strange new species has been discovered in Britain. The Coconut Squirrel.

Reports are a little sketchy, but I have my own hypothesis:

Squirrels were humping coconuts.

I see no other way this happens. The squirrels ate a few fermented pieces of fruit and got a little loaded. Those coconuts were sending off the vibe, just asking for it.

Next thing you know, it's squirrels banging coconuts. After the 40 day squirrel gestation period, these beasts were the result. Mutant Coconut Squirrels.

Beware Britain. Beware. We don't know the dangers of these creatures yet. Approach with caution.

Over a smorgasbord of BBQ from Hill Country, Echo and Baier discuss New York State's potential fat tax. On the one hand, it helps stunt the continuing body-width growth of Americans. But on the other hand, it punishes us skinny bastards who are attempting to put on a little weight. (We have issues of our own, having been picked last in kickball)

So sit back, grab a bucket o'wings, maybe a Big Gulp, and listen to us vent/rant about this proposed new tax.

I don't know about you, but lately I've noticed many more strange stories about people being stabbed.

It seems the way people are lashing out these days isn't with a punch or a gun, it's by grabbing a sharp object and plunging it into whomever is annoying them.

Here's just a few stories...

Stabbed with Meat Thermometer
"An LA man is recovering after being stabbed in the neck with a meat thermometer after asking a woman to silence her cell phone in a movie theater."
Full story

8-year-old stabs Uncle over Mom's cigarettes.
"The mother allegedly became angry with her brother, for smoking one of her cigarettes... The woman allegedly yelled for her daughter to grab a knife."
Full story

Stabbed with Stiletto
"West Yorkshire Police in northern England say the man was in a critical but stable condition after the woman, with whom he was sharing a cab, assaulted him with the heel of her shoe."
Full story

Woman walks home with knife in her neck.
"She didn't know that the thug had buried a kitchen knife in her neck."
Full Story

Come on humanity, chill out.

The good news is that Crystal Bowersox is feeling a lot better. However, 2 of the women, 48 hours from now, are going to be quite ill. Will it be Crystal (doubtful) or some other ladies?

Seeing this makes me want to go back to being in a workplace for just an hour or so in order to try this out. Mind you, it's the FIRST time I've ever thought about wanting to go back to a regular workplace! Strangely NSFW.

According to a new study by the CDC, 1 in 6 Americans between the ages of 14 and 49 has genital herpes.

So, which one of us do you think is the most likely culprit?
I kid, of course.

(Note: Scaramouch is British so he's off the list - on a technicality)