It really pains me to write those 3 words. But deep down, I knew one day someone would try this type of lunacy.

Still, watching this ice skater do his triple jump, jazz hands interpretation of Nirvana's "Smells like Teen Spirit" makes me want to pull out a shotgun and blow my brains out.

At least Scott Williams had the good sense to not wear sequins.

Figure Skaters, into the pit with you. All of you!

Found on BoreMe

Adulterers and secret agents rejoice - there's an app for you.

On the heels of Tiger Woods infidelity, comes the perfect iPhone app.

Tiger Text deletes texts that you send on both ends.
(No, I'm not 100% sure if it's called Tiger after Mr. Woods)

That way, your thoughts don't live forever and won't be used against you in a court of law or public opinion.

Search for Tiger Text on iTunes. Download is currently free.

Go on Be a Tiger, hide your indiscretions or your Wall Street insider trading advice.

Monsieur Lam summed up what has happened to our attention spans in one simple graphic.

(via Neatorama's Upcoming Queue)

If you thought Pixar's Toy Story was about toys coming alive and going on an adventure, well you were wrong.

This film series ran by VW a couple years ago. Very funny.

He kicked ass and freed slaves. He never got old. He got his face on both a coin and a bill. He even gave us a holiday! What could possibly make Lincoln any cooler? How about that little-known second career he had as a vampire hunter! This will make an awesome movie someday, but for now it's a book.

This is almost as good as that biography of Colonel Sanders.

It was a cold Winter's eve. Several inches of snow hid the dried and dead grass below. The island was constantly battered by steel grey waves crashing onto it's stormy beach. And from a distance, it looked as if no life were to be found there at all...

It sure has the makings of a mystery novel. A small and desolate island in the dead of winter, houses boarded up with most of the residents in warmer environs during the colder months. Well, a mystery novel or an awesome setting for the lair of a super-villain. For some reason, I thought it would be fun to take Mr. Brightside, his wife and my girlfriend out to this house in order to drink wine, sit by the fire, and read books. Instead, we got shit faced, watched the olympics, and spent a good deal of time sledding in the front yard. Toward the end of the night, Mr. Brightside told me he had something he wanted to share with the readers. Something he wanted to get off his chest. And seeing as I had no control over my decisions (or my hair), I thought we'd let it rip. This video is the result.

I seriously questioned putting this up or not. I'm still not sure I made the right decision. Based on the purplish hue of our teeth alone, we'd be great candidates for several 12-step programs. Anyway, if you make it through the whole thing, you'll see just how bad things got toward the end of the evening.

This is why I should never do things without Johnny...