Scotland has a drinking problem and Britain's lawmakers are blaming God's servants.
I'll explain...
Benedictine monks have been making and marketing a rather potent concoction categorized as a Tonic Wine. Wine with a super kick!
This particular Monk hooch is called Buckfast, a super-sweet, highly-caffeinated, alcohol-rich beverage. Buckfast is 15% alcohol by volume and packs as much caffeine as 8 cans of Coke.
Naturally, the monks call this a fortified wine.
Fortified wine is a healthy term for something that gets you both drunk and high.
Buckfast is a big hit with Brits and particularly with working class Scots. Local Scottish folks love Buckfast because it gives them plenty of drunken energy. Some young hooligans, called "NEDS," like to pound 2-3 bottles at a time just so they're good and ready for trouble on Saturday night.
Crime is up in many industrialized districts and that's not good for anybody. Buckfast was mentioned in over 5,000 arrests in the past 4 years, and the thick glass bottle is often used as a weapon.
Of course, the monks believe their product is not to blame. Rather, they think alcohol abuse by society is to blame. The fact that they market an alcoholic speed ball, doesn't mean they should be held accountable. Plus, God is on their side.
And as for the bottle turned weapon? I guess, that's just God's Hammer.
Well, since the Monks won't do the right thing, Scottish and English officials will.
Over the past few years, politicians have taken perplexing steps to curb their countries alcoholic dependency. In 2005, Britain passed a law to allow pubs to stay open 24 hours a day. (Previously they closed at 2am.) That's right, to curb drinking, Britain made it legal to drink in a pub all day long.
(A 6-pack goes to the first person who suggests why this idea failed.)
Today, elected officials have decided the mixture of caffeine and liquor is a bad thing. So they're trying to find ways to ban Tonic Wines like Buckfest and curb its use. Recently, legislation was been introduced to force retailers to charge a minimum price for alcohol. This is another futile idea, since Buckfest presently costs more than that proposed minimum price.
Still, fans of Buckfest are fighting back. They want to continue to imbibe their "loopy juice" because it "blows your head off." Sales of Buckfest are rising and more people are getting in on the high-energy intoxication. I imagine Prince Harry will blame his next indiscretion on Buckie juice.
Anyway, Scottish people don't want Buckie banned and their government does.
So who will win? Who knows?
For now, lets pour a drink and watch the fight rage on. It should last as long as it takes to burn off 8 cans of Coke.
Via NY Times
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I want to try this Buckfast drink now...
No kidding. BMan you have a way with words. This stuff sounds Sofa King good.
Funny review of the stuff here,
http://www.bumwine.com/others.html
Thanks to John Taylor a fan of our YBNBY Facebook page.
Interesting link. I've tried Cisco. Liked it well enough. This one sounds like a winner:
Jeppson's Malört -
This foul Sweedish liquor seems to be indigenous to Chicago. The word "Malört" means wormwood in Sweedish. ....People write in to us claiming that the flavor is a mixture of tussin, nail polish remover, gasoline, bug spray, varnish remover, and metal with a hint of herbs. The taste powerfully lingers for at least ten minutes.
The laws in the UK regarding pubs staying open... The idea was to promote responsible drinking. Apparently the early close time was encouraging people to down 15 drinks in 3 hours etc. the thinking seemed to be, more time = people would slow down and therefore less people with alcohol poisoning would end up in the ER.
Apparently it worked ok in some areas, not so well in others.
This is what a friend of mine from Scotland tells me anyway.
The drinking laws in the UK aren't as straight forward as you've made out here. 24 hour drinking licenses are available but the VAST majority of booze emporiums don't have them. In fact you'll be disgusted to hear that it's actually quite hard to find even a late bar when you need one- let alone a 24 hour bar. And the logic behind these licenses is quite sound- Firstly it does away with the culture of drinking against the clock and secondly it puts an end to the chaos that ensues when you make every drunk person in a town pour out onto the streets at the same time. Oh, and buckfast is cussing great stuff!
MarkDuffy, as penance for my misinformation, I vow to chug a bottle of Buckfast - assuming you can send us some through US Customs.
Not a chance man- gotta stock pile all i can before they ban this beautiful bastard of a beverage!
My Scottish friend told me there's a rhyme about Buckfast over there: "Buckfast makes you f--k fast." More like a poem really.
And we have our own ode to cheap wine: "What's the word? Thunderbird. What's the price? 75 twice. What's the reaction? Satisfaction."
Doesn't seem like we can get Tonic Wine in the US.
Damn.
For you OJandtoothpaste
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8839361@N06/4198198326/