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Somebody's New Pink Button

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There's a new entry in the ever-growing list of things we didn't know we needed until someone decided to sell it to us. We have Betty to make our carpet match the drapes, so to speak. We have Liquid Virgin to tighten us up. Now we have lipstick for our hoo-has?

My New Pink Button is showing up everywhere I've been on the web today. Check out the pitch:

My New Pink Button (tm) is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it. This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their color loss.

Excuse me? Thousands of women? I have a hard time believing that. For one thing, I can't even see mine, which makes me wonder about women who not only can, but do. For another thing, I can't remember what color it was when I was young, so how would I know if it changed? And what does "color loss" mean anyway? Does it turn white? Gray? The color of your face? Transparent? And do men really care?

My new Pink Button comes in four colors, which aren't really colors as they are named Marilyn, Bettie, Ginger, and Audrey. For $120, you can try all four! One blogger tried it out and has helpfully posted pictures of the package contents and instructions, as well as her dismal impressions. The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that you avoid dying your cootch. One fellow who contributed a review just loved it.

I got the ole misses some of this cooter cream cause although she is a classic let's just say she wasn't garage kept. We both enjoyed ourselves as I waxed her squack and the dye really brought out the original finish. My only question comment is that I wish it had that new car smell, or maybe leather. But anyway, I've been inside my wife all week and it's been a great ride.

All in all, my philosophy of never buying anything just because someone wants to sell it to me will keep me from the temptation of ordering My New Pink Button.

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5 Comments

Between 'Vagazzle' and now 'My Pink Button', 2010 has got to be the "Year of the Cootch".

Thanks for the laugh Miss C. and starting my Friday out right.

said Ben Lurkin on February 12, 2010 9:52 AM.

When I grow up I want to be a Paramedical Esthetician.

said Jeem on February 12, 2010 12:02 PM.

"I got the ole misses some of this cooter cream cause although she is a classic let's just say she wasn't garage kept. We both enjoyed ourselves as I waxed her squack and the dye really brought out the original finish. My only question/comment is that I wish it had that new car smell, or maybe leather. But anyway, I've been inside my wife all week and it's been a great ride."

God damn that guy has a way with words.

Thanks for the scoop Miss C. Just in time for Valentine's day too. Nothing like a little romance.

said E on February 12, 2010 1:51 PM.

Well, that's all well and good, but what can a MAN do when he wants to restore the youthful appearance to HIS privates? Wait, don't answer that.

said mrpaulmaul on February 12, 2010 6:15 PM.

Originally when I saw this featured on another site my only thought was "Wtf? Seiously?" then the article went on to explain that it sorta works but doesn't but that's all right because the stuff doesn't taste half bad.

Ooookk. I have to say that I have never personally payed that much attention to hooha color (my own or other womens.) Frankly for me personally it's absurd to even worry about it and speaking from past experience if it another womans I was to busy...anywho. Which brings up the question who's partner is paying that much attention to color and not all the fun things to do?!?

I do love the transparency comment.

said nihil on February 14, 2010 1:13 AM.
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