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On Losing a Boner
koenig_boner.jpg
The death of Andrew Koenig, who played Richard "Boner" Stabone on Growing Pains, is incredibly tragic. I can only imagine the pain his family is feeling, and their search through Vancouver for him in the days leading up to the discovery of his body was heart-wrenching.

And while we'd never make fun of someone's death, it does afford us a unique opportunity to ... um ... use his nickname for horrible purposes, especially when adding "my" before the name. Such as:
  • I wish I could see my Boner one more time.
  • My Boner will never get up again.
  • They found my Boner in the park.
  • I lost my Boner in Vancouver.
  • My girlfriend was always a big fan of My Boner.
Or... if you want to, you can add "Kirk Cameron" before the nickname:
  • Kirk Cameron's Boner died in Canada.
  • Kirk Cameron's best friend Boner has gone limp.
  • Tragedy struck Kirk Cameron's Boner.
See? It's sick fun. Give us your best Boner shot in the comments section.
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22 Comments

My Boner lies over the earthworms
My Boner lies 7 feet deep
My Boner now's eating grassroots
Oh bring back my Boner to me

Bring back, bring back
Bring back my Boner to me, to me

said Leonardo Carvalho on February 26, 2010 9:38 AM.

Cialis gave up the search for my Boner after 36 hours

said Mr. Brightside on February 26, 2010 9:39 AM.

Kirk Cameron's Boner will be missed, especially by Leonardo DiCaprio.

said Mr. Brightside on February 26, 2010 9:44 AM.

That Boner is pushing up the daisies!

said alighier on February 26, 2010 10:28 AM.

Try these on for size ...

Once lost, my Boner is now found.
I'm puzzled why it took so long to find my Boner.
Police question Kirk Cameron in disappearance of Boner.
The last time my Boner was seen in public was at the park.

or how's about a combo ...

Kirk Cameron shows up at park. Declares 'Here's my Boner.'

said Tim on February 26, 2010 10:44 AM.

I know what it's like to lose a boner.

said E on February 26, 2010 11:10 AM.

I could careless that Andrew Koenig died. But I'm saddened by the loss of a Boner.

said Baierman on February 26, 2010 11:27 AM.

Men maybe be frustrated at the loss of a Boner, but women are outraged.

said Baierman on February 26, 2010 11:29 AM.

Strangely enough, my Boner is stiffer than ever.

said Echowood on February 26, 2010 11:49 AM.

Richard Boner...
You mean Dick Boner?
Ok, that was too obvious. Was this character's name created for the sole purpose of using this pun?

said palmieres on February 26, 2010 12:46 PM.

Wow. Not even a week dead and we're making fun of a dead person because of one character he played once back in the 80's. Way to go guys.

said heather.epp on February 26, 2010 2:12 PM.

Nobody is making fun of Koenig, they are just making fun of my Boner.

said Mr. Brightside on February 26, 2010 2:20 PM.

My boner will need rigor mortis when I die, Kirk Cameron's boner will be kept up by the likes of pop culture blogs for eternity.

said Mr. Brightside on February 26, 2010 2:22 PM.

I want my funeral to be filled with boner jokes (and maybe a caption competition). It would only be appropriate.

said E on February 26, 2010 2:48 PM.

Mr. Brightside, you're saying the key to immortality is to sport a boner for most of your life?

said Echowood on February 26, 2010 3:31 PM.

This is just preview for when Vincent Pastorie dies.

said Baierman on February 26, 2010 5:09 PM.

Oh Boner boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Boner boy, oh Boner boy, I love you so.

said Sheriff Pablo on February 26, 2010 10:35 PM.

You haven't posted a funny article in weeks, and this breaks the camel's back. You're off my bookmarks.

said dukerayburn on February 27, 2010 12:58 PM.

Awww, c'mon back Duke. Rumors of my Boner have been greatly exaggerated.

said Tim on February 27, 2010 3:32 PM.

Unfortunately, my Boner doesn't know the meaning of "too soon."

said Mr. Brightside on February 27, 2010 9:47 PM.

Rumors of Tim's boner are like rumors of Sasquatch. There have been sightings, but no conclusive evidence of its existence.

said Sheriff Pablo on February 27, 2010 11:22 PM.

Excessive hair is the key to any good disguise. It's difficult to know exactly what you're looking at until you get real close.

... and then the fear sets in.

said Tim on February 28, 2010 10:12 AM.
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