Cast it from thy sievelike books of memory, Sir Donald; thou art out of thy element.
"Staggering" doesn't begin to properly describe this work by Adam Bertocci. He's taken the entire Big Lebowski and turned it into a play by Shakespeare. The magic of the conversion is that it in no way takes away from the film; in fact it adds to it. Take a read and let me know if your high school drama club decides to perform it.
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