YBNBY Logo
ornate line
Thanks For Fucking Us Too, Tiger
tiger-woods.jpg
Dear Tiger Woods,
You had to go and ruin it for the rest of us, didn't you? We had a pretty good agreement, and you took a fiber-rich dump all over it. You see, before your 14+ indiscretions, us "normal" guys were never questioned by our significant others when we "went out for some beers with the guys" or "drove to Home Depot for some wood." We were trusted. After all, with you on our side with your crystal clear morals and love of family, you were a reflection of what our girlfriends and wives loved in us. Now they think we're noodling the waitress from Bennigan's.

And we are. The "nice guy" routine was our cover. But you hit that one past the rough, the cart path, and into the damn parking lot. Every move we make is pondered, studied, and run past our girl's friends. Sure, we may not have been banging strippers (without condoms no less) but that chick from the Post Office was pretty spectacular at licking our postage stamps, despite the enormous mole on her chin.

So, on behalf of the guys you screwed over who are more concerned with losing our mortgages than our Gatorade sponsorships, I want to say thanks.

Ivo
Share on Facebook StumbleUpon ToolbarStumble This    Submit to RedditReddit!

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin

7 Comments

Hey you forgot to mention that we now have to start deleting text messages on our cells and then get interrogated worse than a Guantanamo suspect about the unknown/unlabled numbers that have been calling our cells as well. Fucking Tiger......

said Bigus Dickus on December 17, 2009 5:27 PM.

On the flip side Ivo, every guy now has to ask his lady if she has slept with Tiger.


And really, what did we expect the guy is named TIGER for christmas sake!

said Baierman on December 17, 2009 6:35 PM.

Good point B.

The real crime here is - Hey, if you're messing around with OPP, the first rule is - keep yer yap shut. Don't go blabbing to everyone. Sheeeee-it. What kind of unethical prostitutes do we have these days?

said E on December 17, 2009 7:07 PM.

All men cheat or have cheated when given the right situation.

said Taunee on December 17, 2009 7:08 PM.

Bullshit, Tawns ... bullshit.

Some of us married ones are happy and can actually think with our brains.

said Tim on December 17, 2009 9:10 PM.

Hallelujah Tim.
I'm not fond of stupid generalizations, especially when it has no relevance to me or most men I call friends.
Still though, I wish everyone would leave Woods alone. He's a great golfer, the best. Cant we just revel in that and concentrate on our own imperfect lives?

said Chad on December 18, 2009 5:58 AM.

Tawnee, from my experience I could say the same about women, but I don't. That's because i don't make broad generalizations about large groups of people. But then again, I was blessed with a touch of class, and some people just weren't.

said Sheriff Pablo on December 18, 2009 7:07 AM.
The
greatest
pop culture
blog on the
planet.
 
Or
maybe not.


rss feed Breakfast Links Feed

Recent Comments

What we can learn from Donna "Treasure Bombshell" Simpson?
Dear Treasure Bombshell If you don’t’ love yourself think of your daughter. W
teresacristinacunha

What we can learn from Donna "Treasure Bombshell" Simpson?
Dear Treasure Bombshell If you don’t’ love yourself think of your daughter. W
teresacristinacunha

Where the Streets have Sexual Names
Lets not leave out Climax, Saskatchewan :)
Heather

Where are they now? Serial Killers
another true fact on Jeffry Dahlmer, sick puppy he is ..one book at library sai
Marylou

Where Are They Now - The Griswold Kids
dana hill passed away now
Mike

Where Are They Now - The Griswold Kids
dana hill passed away now
Mike

Comments Feed

Special Features

Archives by Writer

New to YesButNoButYes?

YesButMailbag