I was unsure about this one until I heard the phrase, "Sometimes I go to Big Lots - pick up the biggest girl I can find - get her to call a dog the n-word until I come." That's just comedy gold.

A few weeks ago, we asked you to submit your dirtiest secrets. And some of them were dirty. Very dirty. In fact, it made us question what sort of readers we actually have, and glad that we write under pseudonyms. After pouring over the results, we are (slightly) proud to announce the winners of this year's AXE Hair Giveaway!

1st Place - Taunee (Senior year, I slept with a teacher for a passing grade. After I recieved my grade and graduated, I called him up and told him I was pregnant. He was so scared that he had to tell his wife. After he did, I told him I was just kidding.) - Because that's so wrong, kind of hot and your addition of "I was home schooled" is horribly wrong but also hilarious.
2nd Place - Leonardo Carvalho (10 years ago I used to receive blow jobs from an ex-coworker so he'd pass me marijuana for free.) - Because we've all done that and know how it feels. Plus, you got slammed in the comments section and deserve to "come clean."
3rd Place - Ben Lurkin (I once taped a dead mouse to the bottom of a co-workers desk. As it decayed, everyone thought he had some serious hygiene issues. Does a secret like that count? I mean the dude deserved it, he was a real ass-hat. We handle our feuds a little differently here in the Midwest.) - You get it because you used the term "ass-hat."

I'll contact the winners shortly (in the next three to six months depending on my parole hearings). We'll send the product out soon after. Thanks!

Are you kidding me, Florida? Have you no Christmas spirit? No respect for the holidays?

In Boynton Beach Florida, a woman named Merry Christmas has been arrested for obstruction of justice. This is just shameful ... for police officers.

Shouldn't the coppers have seen Merry's ID and said, "Sorry ma'am, I see you are legally connected to the berfday of the Baby Jesus, we'll let this slide out of respect. To Christmas. And America."

We had the research team look into this, and it seems there has been some other holiday/coincidental/odd name/crime related stories.

Gangster Sonny "The Groundhog" Santini was arrested on racketeering charges on Groundhog Day. A guy named Cinco de Mayo-Gutierrez was popped on Cinco de Mayo for public intoxication, public urination and punching a horse. And a woman named Eve Hallows was taken in on Halloween one year for also punching a horse.

There was another story of a young man that was called "Hanukkah Magee" was arrested during Hanukkah for petty theft. However, his real name is Ricky Tenenbaum. "Hanukkah Magee" was only a nickname given to Ricky by his classmates for, and this is a quote, "looking pretty Jew-y."

David Cross wrote a pilot for a new show and he got Will Arnett and Spike Jonze to star in it. The pilot aired about 2 weeks ago on the UK's Channel Four.

If you think this clip is funny {NSFW language}, watch the whole pilot episode here.
Reviews have been mixed.

via Warming Glow

You're bored.
You're ice fishing. You're in the middle of a frozen lake.
Might as well have a little fun.

Opening title sequences have never received their proper credit. (Sorry for the pun) They're almost mini-films designed to grab the viewer in a stylistically and all-encompassing manner while pushing the overall themes of the movie without giving too much away. In other words: they aren't exactly easy to create ... just ask Saul Bass. We've gone through the last 10 years worth of movies and picked out the 10 best opening titles. See if you agree after the jump.