While reporters continue to have more fun than anyone has ever had fact-checking a politician's biography...Sarah Palin took a break from her, uh ... job (?) and embarked on a book tour to promote her new memoir. She took on some pretty tough interviewers and after over a year after the "gotcha" question was first asked, Palin told us what news sources she reads. We've been on pins and needles waiting for the answer, (would Soldier of Fortune, Wolf Blast Weekly or WWE Magazine make the cut?) but she was smart not to rush an answer. Mrs. Palin took her time, and gave a calculated, gaff-free response. Well played, ma'am. Well played.
During one of the hard-hitting interviews, Gretchen Carlson from Fox's highest rated comedy show Fox and Friends, asked Palin if she would consider challenging President Obama in 2012. And if so, would she consider as her running mate, the most prolific chalk board practitioner of all the self-caricatured commentators, Glenn Beck.
"Of course not, that's crazy," she answered. That's what she answered, right? No? Seriously?!? Oh boy. She actually giggled perkily and alluded it was an interesting idea while managing to use the word "hoot." Didn't dismiss the idea at all.
I've been thinking. We need this to happen. Sweet fancy Moses do we need this presidential ticket.
America needs the comedy.
Think if a Palin/Beck ticket became reality. You know how you add water to Sea Monkey eggs and they magically come to life? This potential campaign would be the unintentional comedy equivalent of Sea Monkeys. Just add microphones, loose cannon candidates veering "off message," thousands of cameras and observe the hilarity in wonder. "Is this happening? Did she really just say 'darn tootin' to Vladimir Putin?'" It would be amazing.
The campaign would be like a banana cream pie in the face running with a whoopee cushion. Or a figure skating chimp campaigning with a midget riding a tricycle while juggling octopuses. Like a breakdancing hot dog wearing a fez paired with a ... you get the idea.
Imagine the sound bytes. Imagine the crazy-go-nuts Unabomber Manifesto-like Glenn Beck chalkboards. Imagine the wacky conspiracy theories when they lose. Imagine the Saturday Night Live cold opens. Just ... imagine. The debates would be freaking Abbott and Costello.
We need this comedy like Mickey Rourke needs nicotine, facelifts and Asian hookers. We'd all wake up every morning excited to fire up the internet to see what bonkers clip was being virally spread. Swine flu style.
Let's make this dream happen. Here is what I need from you, dear readers. A few sacrifices. Do your bit.
➢ Every birthday wish should be used to ask for a Palin/Beck Presidential ticket. Every single one. If someone generously offers you their birthday wish as a penance or gambling debt, it better go to this endeavor.
We also need the spoils from:
➢ Every shooting star spotted. Even if it might be a 737 from Minneapolis heading into La Guardia. What the hell...
➢ Every wishbone pull victory.
➢ If you purchase a winning lottery ticket or score big at the craps table, make the wish, you may have a hot streak going. Don't underestimate the power of a "heater."
➢ Any genie in a bottle found, one wish goes to our cause. The other two are yours to spend as deemed necessary. (Don't try the "unlimited wishes gambit." Scantily clad genies have been onto that one for a long time. How about a boat? Try wishing for a nice boat.)
➢ Carry around all four-leafed clovers, horseshoes and rabbit's feet you own in your fanny pack. ➢ If you see a fountain in a town square, public park or shopping mall, a wish-accompanied penny better go into the drink. Let's chuck some change into ponds, puddles, lakes, rivers and oceans just to cover our bases.
➢ Every leprechaun captured. Don't let the little stinkers trick you. They are very crafty. You get 3 wishes. It's a rule. Screw the pot of gold, man, we need some laughs.
We can do this. We can. In the name of Groucho Marx and all that is funny we can will a Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck presidential ticket to reality. It will be a period in history that you will tell your grandkids about. "Well, Bobby, during a rally at an Iowa John Deere dealership, Beck tried to answer a question on national security, pulled a small chalkboard out from under the podium, drew a kitty and began to weep uncontrollably. I'll never forget where I was when I saw it." Don't rob your grandchildren of that story. Palin and Beck. Let's make it happen. Together...
Selah...
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A Palin/Beck ticket would be a dream ticket compared to the "worst president ever" Obama 2nd term. As they say, the difference between Obama and Hitler is that at least Hitler got the Olympics."
"Truth," if you are going to comment, you need to have some original material, not something you read scrawled in crayon on a sign at the latest Tea Party protest.
Thank you for reading.
Love,
JW
'the difference between Obama and Hitler is that at least Hitler got the Olympics.'
And uhm, Hitler deliberately killed millions of people based on his paranoid craziness. Advantage Obama.
OK Johnny, I admit the joke was not original and a cheap shot. But really, everyone must be having doubts about Obama at this point. Is he really going to Copenhagen to push Cap and Trade given the huge global warming scandal currently exploding worldwide?
I'd like to see this ticket, but they'd have to run as independents so that they wouldn't actually interfere with the real election.
Personally, I'd vote for a "Stewart/Colbert '12" ticket
i lik obma hi gona mak ti so i nevr haf tu gita job
yor taxis pya for mi assl
hahahahaha
I think that those of us that voted for and support the President are worried that he took on too much too quickly and is having trouble coming through on everything. The Afghanistan speech coming up really has me nervous.
How's that for candor?
Remember, pally, all this stuff we do is in good fun and satirical. If I felt that a President Obama gaff was going to give me a funny column, I'd write it. Just like the recent SNL skits.
Okay? Okay...
JW
Sorry, But did people really expect Obama to get into office, Wave a magic wand and clean up 8 years of shit?
Having doubts about Obama, Are you serious?
As someone from outside of the states I have to say, Did you realise that the global view on you isn't very high?
Obama has changed that somewhat. First step towards change.
I'm not having doubts Frank. Just getting a little impatient. But you are right, when you are gifted a 1971 Ford Pinto with no engine and no wheels, it's going to take some time to turn her into an Aston Martin.
I still believe the President will succeed.
I'm tempted to think there is no way in hell the Republican party would ever, ever let that happen. But then how can anyone explain why Palin is so wildly successful and why Beck has "the third most listened to radio show in the nation."
It would be an amazing spectacle, but ultimately there is enough sanity left in our country to prevent either from getting anywhere close to our nuclear codes.
All kidding aside, Palin and Beck are extremely popular in the USA. For both or either of them to get elected, the public would have to be convinced that Palin and Beck are not stupid and crazy as the main stream media have proclaimed. Say what you will about both of them but imagine a series of debates between them and Obama and Biden. Imagine Palin and Beck getting their messages out to the public unfiltered. Imagine the effect this would have on the 50% of voters who are in the middle politically. Their messages would stick with a lot of those voters. Be careful what you wish for people of the Left...
Left, Right, Blah Blah Blah.
I'd vote for Axl Rose if I thought he could do a competent job. Unfortunately, we went from a president who did jack shit, to a president who wants to do everything at once and Damn the cost. Either way folks, stock up on the Astroglide, 'cause we fucked!
Truth B Told:
You are a piece of work . . . "Imagine Palin and Beck getting their messages out to the public unfiltered . . . Their messages would stick with a lot of those voters " OMG. WFT. god help u . . . anyone who places Beck on the same level as a rational human being . . . . you deserve what you wish for . . .
"Imagine Palin and Beck getting their messages out to the public unfiltered."
Are you serious? Palin's book is a run away best seller and Beck has the third most listened to radio show as well as a popular show on FoxNEWS. Nobody is filtering their message... which is exactly their problem.
"Imagine Palin and Beck getting their messages out to the public unfiltered..... Their messages would stick with a lot of those voters."
Are you serious? It only sticks with the voters that believe the lies and hatred they spew. Have you seen the fact checks on the quitter? Or the research done on the lies and racist crap that falls from the crybaby's mouth? God help us all should 50% +1 actually think either of these two could do anything positive for this country. Neither has proposed a decent solution to our problems, unless "Drill, baby, drill" and "tax cuts for the wealthy & big business" are their new ideas. We all know how the tax cut idea worked during the Reagan era. And the Bush 1 era. And the Bush 2 era.
Yeah - Obama has a lot on his plate. It's like walking up to a home that just got smacked with a tornado - where do you start? Maybe he is trying to do too much too fast, but this place is a f*cking mess. The nice thing about a natural disaster, though. The neighbors tend to come out and help clean up instead of obstructing the work with ridiculous, self serving ideas.
And btw - would you kindly explain the "global warming scandal" you speak of. And please cite research to back up your claims.
Shiny Happy, right up top, high 5 from the Sultan of Sarcasm.
That's a new nickname I'm trying out...
JW
Jeff, I think he's talking abut the "stolen emails" that aren't real that Rush has been reading. All bogus. Damn these scientists with their data and facts!
First let me say that Johnny Wright rules! Second let me say that "President Palin" has a nice ring to it...don't yah think?
A Palin/Beck ticket is too ridiculous even for satire. I don't recall that either person is currently a politician. Why leave a private sector where you can make millions as an author or entertainer and be bashed as readily as if you are a corrupt politician making millions? What's the draw, more power and corruption? For some yes, for these two, I bet not. I see a lot of people on here crying that Obama adopted the crap from the previous 8 years ... Hell, he was part of the problem from the previous 8 years acting as a Senator trying to gain this 'experience' to propel him to the next level. You know what is ludicrous? Signing into law the largest spending bill in the history of the world ... without even reading it. Now THAT is reason enough to be scared of this administration, and this Congress. There are fools aplenty in the capital city for sure.
Everyone in the public arena should know they're going to get dissed. Beck, Palin, Obama, all of them.
I'm still very happy Obama won the election. He was against the Iraq war from the beginning. (Amongst other nice things.) As far as I am concerned he's just better than McCain would be, though there's no way to prove that, I admit.
If he sucks in a couple of years the Republicans can make their case again. Be my guest. I like a little competition in the arena.
I will say anyone who thought Bush was any good is a nut as far as I'm concerned. Even his Republican supporters hated him at the end. The Republicans were in charge for years. Look around assholes. Hope you like what you see. I don't.