Dateline: Portugal

A 22-year-old former Disney corporation science experiment has been caught attempting to rob a Portuguese grocery store. The young man is the result of a secret project to create a man and toon hybrid. It was initially thought the Men/Toons would be a benefit to the CIA because they can jump off a cliff, smack the ground at terminal velocity, walk away like an accordion and be fine in ten minutes; ready for another mission.

However, the creators of the project did not foresee a Man/Toon revolt. The hybrids didn't want to go after terrorist cells. They wanted to fly away to Neverland and hit each other in the mug with banana cream pies. As a result, the Man/Toons simply smushed themselves thin as a board and slid out between the bars of their cells. Jailbreak! They are now on the lam.

The gentleman in the video above, a crossbreed of a Romanian and a rumbly, tumbly silly old bear had made it Portugal. He just wanted to eat some freaking honey. Man/Pooh smelled the delicious bee-byproduct in the corner shop. There was a tiny window he thought he could squeeze through. He had to go for it. But, wouldn't you know it, victim to Pooh's natural tendencies, he got stuck. Police soon arrived and Man/Pooh was taken into custody.

A shame. A damn shame.

You know, I may not have all the details of this right. I'm pretty close. Within the margin of error.