One of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes was "Button, Button". Killer ending. Now there is a movie based on the same short story, The Box, as if anyone in the world doesn't know the story. It was a good one-hour short story, but I don't know how they'll keep an audience of people who know the punch line through a two hour movie. OK, this version from Funny or Die doesn't follow the same script. Enjoy.

The cat above? That'll run you $10,000 as it's no ordinary cat. It's an offspring of the African serval, which is deemed a wildcat. As such, it's also illegal to own in New York City. (For more information, check out this article from the New York Times) Fearing that they'll get lose, attack infants and impregnate high-schoolers, the "Savannah Cat" gets a one-stop trip to the gas chamber if it's found in your apartment. Granted, I don't have the room to keep a goldfish in my apartment, so having a 35 pound cat around would force me to sleep in the trash chute. But they're out there and they're being round-up in a kitty Kristallnacht.

If that isn't enough, what happens if you have a cat that looks like a Savannah? Such is the case of someone I know whose neighbors reported them (and the cat) to the city. This cat was adopted from a pound, has papers from their vet stating it isn't a Savannah, but the city is still sending out an "expert" to make a determination.

It's true, the world has gone insane. Keeping alligators and tigers in your apartment is one thing. But ratting out a neighbor because he has what looks like a wildcat living in his apartment is something else entirely. As strange as this is, he's looking for a "pet attorney" to defend his (and his cat's) claim. If you know of anyone, send me their info via ivoshandor at yesbutnobutyes dot com. Thanks!

Now, who wants some dalmatian mice? These things are all over my apartment.

Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network has given the believers a stern warning about Halloween. All of this frivolity is evil. Candy corn? Evil. Carving jack-o-lanterns? May as well be carving cancer-stricken orphans. Enjoying a piping hot mug of apple cider? That's the witch's brew served at the Devil's temperature!

There's a few amazing revelations is this piece. Such as:

During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches

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Interesting. These witches must be an organized bunch with a lot of free time on their hands/claws. What with all the stealing of candy from manufacturers, poisoning or cursing the treats and sneaking the bags back onto supermarket shelves. And keep the stories out of the newspapers. Diabolical.

We are taught that

During Halloween, time-released curses are always loosed. A time-released curse is a period that has been set aside to release demonic activity and to ensnare souls in great measure.

This can be done through the ditstribution of cursed candy! Your 5-year-old may unwittingly be the carrier of a demon to your candy-loving neighbors. He's like Damien in The Omen!

It's my suggestion that you hole up in the cellar until the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is on. That's the signal for all clear.

ADDENDUM: It appears we weren't the only ones mocking Mr. Robertson and his possessed candy crusade. Due to high traffic, or perhaps a shot of common sense, the page has been taken down. Apparently the bewitched candy epidemic has been averted.

It's a hand made out of meat. Aren't all hands made out of meat? Yes, but this one is made of meat loaf, so you can serve it to guests at your Halloween dinner party. You don't have to tell them what's in it! Instructions for several versions of the Meat Hand are at Not Martha.

2009 is a banner year for gruesome recipes for Halloween food. If you're having a dinner party, or even just a get together with snacks, you'll want to see all the links in my annual Halloween Food post.

This is NOT someone dressed as Nadya Suleman, better known as Octomom. This IS Nadya Suleman and her babies dressed for Halloween fun. She's a knocked-up nun and the octuplets are little devils. Apparently they trick-or-treat early in La Habra, California.

By almost popular demand, another Halloween clip to help you remember how Halloween used to be. When it was still fun. Before it became an excuse for the slightly-slutty to wear an outfit that was originally intended for a hooker. Show some skin, pop your cleavage, Don't worry about panties! It's Halloween. You get a trollop mulligan on November 1st.

Mad Monster Party is underrated piece of stop-motion animation from 1967. The whole gang was there. Drac, Frank, Werewolf, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Invisible Man, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde, The Mummy, It who was a knock-off of King Kong. Now that's a party.

The show is kitsch and camp in all it's glory. Infused with 60's sounds. And brilliantly funny. A clip: