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The Bible is For Lovers
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BuzzFeed's title put it best. "Gay People Can Quote the Bible Too."
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15 Comments

Yeah. There's some weird stuff in there. I think Leviticus had a problem with cloth made of more than one type of facbric. What up w/dat? If you're going to believe this stuff cause God said it you shouldn't just stick with the ones you like you nasty ass hypocrites.

said E on September 18, 2009 2:28 PM.

Maybe if they are going to cherry-pick the bible, they ought to use actual quotes, because, they seriously abuse the plain meaning of the scripture here. Deut 22:13-20 is a long discourse on protections for married women falsely accused of adultery by their husbands, i.e. the exact opposite of what the quote suggests. 21 is inflated, conflated and exaggerated to incorporate most of the chapter.

Which is why exegesis of holy scripture isn't really a meaningful pasttime for unbelievers.

UR DOIN IT RONG.

E, there are a number of models in the Bible that use common elements to illustrate to the people of God the importance and meaning of his holiness (which means separateness from earthly things.) The restrictions on fabric are one such illustration.

I'm always amazed at how non-believing people think they know more about the bible than those who have not only read it, but have devoted their lives to its subject and study. They are like tourists who insist there's a basement in the Alamo because they half-remember learning about it from a respectable guy in a crewcut who wore a red bow tie.

said Don't Swayze Bro on September 18, 2009 3:03 PM.

I looked the quote up Swayze. Virginity and stoning is mentioned. Can't say it made much sense though.

said E on September 18, 2009 3:12 PM.

There's no basement in the Alamo? Then where the hell is my damn bike?

said Echowood on September 18, 2009 3:29 PM.

"Maybe if they are going to cherry-pick the bible, they ought to use actual quotes"

That's a good idea, a billboard at a rally should contain several paragraphs, that'll surely stop people in their tracks for a good read.

Sheldon

said stokessd on September 18, 2009 4:20 PM.

No E, it doesn't make any sense.

Deuteronomy 22:13-21 (King James Version)

13If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,

14And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:

15Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:

16And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;

17And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.

18And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;

19And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.

20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:

21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.


....Yeah such nice sentiments! Lets all leave this bullshit behind people.

said Ernesto on September 18, 2009 6:24 PM.

So what are these "tokens of virginity?" I'm going to require some from every future date from now on. I bet whatever they are they'd beat a purity ring.

said Pace on September 19, 2009 5:07 AM.

The tokens of virginity are the bloodied bedsheets from the wedding night.

I love the way a man gets fined for wrongly accusing his wife of being a whore, but a woman gets killed if she's right.

This would have made my divorce sooooo much easier.

p.s. Echo, your bike got eaten by the T-Rex in the alamo's super secret basement. Sorry.

said Sheriff Pablo on September 19, 2009 7:50 PM.

I figured "tokens" had something to do with bloodied sheets after the fact, but I want to believe that the Christian supply store at the corner strip mall will come up with some "virginity tokens" that the girls can collect and trade. Say if one girl has a boyfriend who doesn't care if she's a virgin or not, she can trade her brass coin to her friend who might need an extra token some day. I think religion needs to get more hoodoo-voodoo these days to stay relevant.

BTW after reading Deut. 13-21 from E.Tantao's post, it seems the bride only gets stoned for lying about her virginity to her accusers. Seems it's okay for her to not be pure as long as the husband doesn't "hateth" on her, so the protest sign that guy's hiding behind might be debatable.

said Pace on September 20, 2009 4:26 AM.

You guys are completely missing the point. Before these requirements, a man could/would stone or divorce his wife on any grounds, citing some non-codified property rights or some such. This was a restriction of lawlessness, not an uneven application of justice.

This would have been a restriction to men who would accuse their wives of adultery so they could have excuse for an "honor" killing (which is a tribal, not a biblical, tradition) and a protection for women who had not done anything wrong.

You've got to understand that the culture was more similar to modern Saudi Arabia than our more familiar license - married women would be under very watchful eyes, and the temptation to commit adultery would be minimized by the soul-crushing pressure and potential for ostracism/honor killings.

I know this is hard for all of us to get our perverted, modern minds around, but we are totally misreading the ancient document. It placed restrictions on executions and spousal abuse.

Believe it or not.

What's even sadder is that you are taking a bible lesson from me.

said Don't Swayze Bro on September 21, 2009 11:43 AM.

Swayze... What you're saying is all correct, but this is the same ignorant viewpoint that fuels so much of the anti-gay crowd.

There are fundies who claim that the Bible is the straight up word of god and cannot be questioned or equivocated. They don't take the "Man shall not lie with man" stuff in context, why should this be held to a different standard?

Sure, the Bible is a 2,000 year old document that no longer applies to modern life or mores, so why do we quote Leviticus to back up a bigoted stance against gays, but explain away Deuteronomy when it doesn't jive?

Maybe you don't fall into that category, but if you're going to quote Leviticus as a way to justify your homophobia, I'm going to ask if you wife still sacrifices two tortoises at the altar when she's on her cycle like the Bible says. In the 19th century, Leviticus was widely used to say that GOD approved of slavery. (L 20:18) GOD said the only christian thing to do was to treat people as property.

Talk about pointing out the splinter in another's eye while ignoring the plank in thine own...

However, since you're giving Bible lessons... I know what Sodomy is, but what the hell is Gommorahmy? And how much would a hooker charge me to do it?

said Jason on September 21, 2009 1:30 PM.

Deuteronomy is an ancient set of rules specifically for the Hebrew tribes wandering in the desert looking for a homeland. If you choose to preach that one verse is the law for everyone, you must follow the entire code. Ham and cheese, anyone?

said Miss Cellania on September 21, 2009 2:40 PM.

Maggs,

You fail to mention that the primary engine for the abolition of slavery in the U.S. and England was inherently a Christian one. So if you are going to blame the Bible for the actions of a bad group of people, you had better credit it for the actions of the good guys, too.

The point is this: I wouldn't begin to quote Buddhist teachings to a Tibetan monk, even if he was arguing, from a Buddhist perspective, something I deeply opposed. Why on earth would I so arrogantly venture onto his territory, where I'm at distinct intellectual advantage?

Gay people misquoting the bible just because gay bashers misquote the bible is downright stupid, especially when any thinking Christian is going to engage those people and de-rail them from their point. It certainly isn't going to work to convince bible-believers that somehow, all of a sudden, a faith they've studied for years is somehow contradictory or ridiculous.

After all, if a PETA person stands outside a McDonald's with a sign that says "Big Macs are Made of Chicken," is anyone going to get think they are anything but nuts?

Message matters, and the only message these protesters have delivered is that they are not only not straight, but that they aren't bible scholars, either. What's even more ridiculous is that they think they are being clever, when they only demonstrate their ignorance of the subject matter to anyone who might actually care.

Of course, to those who could care less about facts, it has, like a lot of things these days, the appearance of cleverness, so I guess, in that regard: Mission Accomplished.

I agree with Miss C. when she paraphrases Jesus, in saying that not one jot or tittle of the law shall pass away. The Law, which exists for three important reasons: to demonstrate the holiness of God, to guide humans to live in a way that is pleasing to Him, and to demonstrate every person's inherent inability to achieve perfection; isn't something that can be cherry-picked to win arguments.

It is something that everyone is called to follow, and that everyone falls short of honoring.

Getting derailed by seemingly obscure (and as evidenced above, hopelessly misinterpreted, if not down right fallacious) details cause us to trudge along in parallel lines, never coming to see truth for what it is.

said Don't Swayze Bro on September 21, 2009 6:15 PM.

"I know this is hard for all of us to get our perverted, modern minds around, "

I was gonna object to being called a pervert but then I thought about all the caption competitions and realized it's a fair assessment.

As Emily Litella would say - never mind.

said E on September 21, 2009 7:44 PM.

Right Swayze, facts are what these people are going to listen to. The "fact" that they base their lives on the Bible as the ultimate true word of God kinda shows that these people live in a fact-free zone to begin with.

"Oh, if only we had enough facts, then the fundie Christians and Mormons would leave the poor gay people alone." I find myself saying this often.

Leviticus is a holiness code written for the Priestly class 3,000 years ago. It was never intended to apply to an entire society. So, the gay haters are misreading the bible too. It also includes prohibitions against round haircuts, tattoos, working on the Sabbath, wearing garments of mixed fabrics, eating pork or shellfish, getting your fortune told, and even playing with the skin of a pig. (Tim Tebow beware, playing football is un-christian.)

Jesus and Paul both said the holiness code in Leviticus does not pertain to Christian believers. Nevertheless, there are still people who pull the two verses about men sleeping together from this ancient holiness code to say that the Bible seems to condemn homosexuality.

For years people have tried to appeal to the religious right with facts, has that gotten us anywhere? I think your invective is misplaced Bro.

said Jason on September 22, 2009 9:44 AM.
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