Dear Mr. Drummond,It is with sincere regret that I inform you of an ongoing investigation into several dubious instances you've subjected your adopted sons Willis Jackson and Arnold Jackson as well as your biological daughter, Kimberly Drummond to over the past few years. These events are listed on the following page. Because the State of New York feels you have exposed these children to numerous inappropriate and questionable acts, we are reviewing the adoption of the Jackson children and are considering assigning a social worker to Kimberly to make a determination as to the viability of your parental supervision over her.
Please see the attached page for a list of the events in question.
December 15, 1978 - You made A. Jackson stand trial in a false court of law for the accidental drowning of his goldfish in your hot tub.
February 16, 1979 - The new landlord of your building on Park Avenue attempts to have you thrown out of the building, potentially causing the children to become homeless.
April 6, 1979 - A. Jackson is placed in harm's way as he witnesses a crime. This questions how well supervised your children are.
September 28, 1979 - You subject A. Jackson to rampant racism as he suffers through appendicitis.
January 30, 1980 - After W. Jackson and A. Jackson find a watch which was previously stolen, they are implicated in the crime, no doubt due to the previous rampant racism prevalent in your apartment building.
February 6, 1980 - A. Jackson is bit by a potentially rabid dog.
March 26, 1980 - You allow your daughter to parade around the apartment in black face.
April 23, 1980 - W. Jackson joins a gang.
November 12, 1980 - You, and W. Jackson and A. Jackson are held up in a bank robbery.
December 3, 1980 - You suffer an accident and are stricken with amnesia.
December 17, 1980 - You bribe the local football coach by purchasing uniforms for the team in exchange for A. Jackson joining the team.
March 11, 1981 - A. Jackson attempts suicide from 30 stories up.
October 1, 1981 - W. Jackson, despite being underage, becomes sexually promiscuous.
October 8, 1981 - W. Jackson is asked to purchase marijuana by his friends.
November 5, 1981 - A. Jackson is arrested for shoplifting a comic book.
December 3, 1981 - You are honored by your sports club, despite the club's segregation and your adopted children's race.
December 17, 1981 - Due to a lack of research by your company, one of your construction projects is built over a Native-American burial ground.
February 11, 1982 - A fire occurs in your building.
February 25, 1982 - W. Jackson steals your car and crashes into a police officer.
April 15, 1982 - You and your children are robbed at gun point in your apartment. We should discuss the effectiveness of your building's security system and door men.
October 30, 1982 - W. Jackson purchases a gun, despite being under 18, to defend himself.
November 6, 1982 - A. Jackson falsely claims he was struck by a teacher.
November 20, 1982 - K. Drummond takes a photo of a naked and underage A. Jackson and submits it to a contest.
December 4, 1982 - You physically assault your building's landlord.
December 18, 1982 - You are robbed, again, though this time it's by a street corner Santa.
January 8, 1983 - W. Jackson is involved in a drinking and driving car accident which kills his friend.
February 5 - 12, 1983 - A. Jackson is abducted by a pedophile.
April 30, 1983 - Rampant drug use occurs at A. Jackson's school, so much so that the First Lady of the United States needs to make an intervention.
October 15, 1983 - A. Jackson steals a goat.
October 22, 1983 - Again, you are robbed by a burglar in your apartment.
November 26, 1983 - A. Jackson sneaks into a gentleman's club to witness his teacher (his teacher!?) at her moonlighting job.
January 28 - February 4, 1983 - A. Jackson and K. Drummond are kidnapped.
February 9, 1985 - A. Jackson's rocket crashes into the Soviet Embassy and nearly causes an international incident.
March 23, 1985 - A. Jackson is mugged. As a result, he begins carrying a concealed weapon.
September 27, 1985 - Sam, your stepson, is kidnapped.
Unfortunately Mr. Drummond, this list is way too long for us not to step in and intervene. The plethora of robberies, kidnappings, and drugs you've exposed your children to indicate a severely hostile and ill-supervised family unit. Your case is currently being reviewed by the Department of Child Protective Services and we expect to have a ruling issued shortly. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Martin Cornell
Director, NY State Dept. of Child Protective Services
February 16, 1979 - The new landlord of your building on Park Avenue attempts to have you thrown out of the building, potentially causing the children to become homeless.
April 6, 1979 - A. Jackson is placed in harm's way as he witnesses a crime. This questions how well supervised your children are.
September 28, 1979 - You subject A. Jackson to rampant racism as he suffers through appendicitis.
January 30, 1980 - After W. Jackson and A. Jackson find a watch which was previously stolen, they are implicated in the crime, no doubt due to the previous rampant racism prevalent in your apartment building.
February 6, 1980 - A. Jackson is bit by a potentially rabid dog.
March 26, 1980 - You allow your daughter to parade around the apartment in black face.
April 23, 1980 - W. Jackson joins a gang.
November 12, 1980 - You, and W. Jackson and A. Jackson are held up in a bank robbery.
December 3, 1980 - You suffer an accident and are stricken with amnesia.
December 17, 1980 - You bribe the local football coach by purchasing uniforms for the team in exchange for A. Jackson joining the team.
March 11, 1981 - A. Jackson attempts suicide from 30 stories up.
October 1, 1981 - W. Jackson, despite being underage, becomes sexually promiscuous.
October 8, 1981 - W. Jackson is asked to purchase marijuana by his friends.
November 5, 1981 - A. Jackson is arrested for shoplifting a comic book.
December 3, 1981 - You are honored by your sports club, despite the club's segregation and your adopted children's race.
December 17, 1981 - Due to a lack of research by your company, one of your construction projects is built over a Native-American burial ground.
February 11, 1982 - A fire occurs in your building.
February 25, 1982 - W. Jackson steals your car and crashes into a police officer.
April 15, 1982 - You and your children are robbed at gun point in your apartment. We should discuss the effectiveness of your building's security system and door men.
October 30, 1982 - W. Jackson purchases a gun, despite being under 18, to defend himself.
November 6, 1982 - A. Jackson falsely claims he was struck by a teacher.
November 20, 1982 - K. Drummond takes a photo of a naked and underage A. Jackson and submits it to a contest.
December 4, 1982 - You physically assault your building's landlord.
December 18, 1982 - You are robbed, again, though this time it's by a street corner Santa.
January 8, 1983 - W. Jackson is involved in a drinking and driving car accident which kills his friend.
February 5 - 12, 1983 - A. Jackson is abducted by a pedophile.
April 30, 1983 - Rampant drug use occurs at A. Jackson's school, so much so that the First Lady of the United States needs to make an intervention.
October 15, 1983 - A. Jackson steals a goat.
October 22, 1983 - Again, you are robbed by a burglar in your apartment.
November 26, 1983 - A. Jackson sneaks into a gentleman's club to witness his teacher (his teacher!?) at her moonlighting job.
January 28 - February 4, 1983 - A. Jackson and K. Drummond are kidnapped.
February 9, 1985 - A. Jackson's rocket crashes into the Soviet Embassy and nearly causes an international incident.
March 23, 1985 - A. Jackson is mugged. As a result, he begins carrying a concealed weapon.
September 27, 1985 - Sam, your stepson, is kidnapped.
Unfortunately Mr. Drummond, this list is way too long for us not to step in and intervene. The plethora of robberies, kidnappings, and drugs you've exposed your children to indicate a severely hostile and ill-supervised family unit. Your case is currently being reviewed by the Department of Child Protective Services and we expect to have a ruling issued shortly. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Martin Cornell
Director, NY State Dept. of Child Protective Services
Stumble This
Reddit!
Echo, You have WAAAAAAAAAY too much free time on your hands man.
You said it, Sheriff.
Maybe Lindsey's on a coast-to-coast trip leaving you home alone, with too much time in your hands and preocupations in your mind. Thus, to avoid thinking about where/with whom/doing what/ you started watching full seasons of your favorite series so you can keep your mind working, right?
Next Echo's post: A full review of fashion mistakes made by the girls on Sex in The City and how they'd really should match hair/wardrobe/shoes. Full series and movie review.
Whatchoo talkin bout CPS worker?