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Chantelle Will Have Sex With You
Soiled Dove.jpgAccording to statistics, if there is a girl in your office named Chantelle and you ask her out for drinks, she will let you put your penis in her.

In Britain, 4,000 people were asked what name would be the mostly likely to engage on first date or casual sex. Chantelle was the ... uh, winner?

Woman were also asked what would be the name of a chap that would most likely try to got for it on the first date. The answer: Dave.

Chantelle's of the World: You've been warned. If you become more popular at your local watering hole it isn't because of a new hairdo or your expensive designer jeans. It's because of statistics.

The other names rounding out the Top 10 of Promiscuity are Stacy, Kelly, Chelsea, Tanya, Debbie, Becky, Vicky, Lisa and Michelle.

The 9 other names of guys that are going to try to slip one past the goalie are Lee, Steve, Darren, Andy, Gary, Danny, Jason, Kevin and Callum.

In a separate study, men named Johnny were found to be "charming, funny, intelligent, loved by children and small animals, a troubadour, raconteur, rock and roll historian, cool, the bee's knee's, the cat's pajamas and the mutt's nuts."

Ladies of the World: You've been warned...

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23 Comments

Yes, thanks for the bold face there.

Here's the bit that confuses me : "Woman were also asked what would be the name of a chap that would most likely try to got for it on the first date."

This suggests that all men won't try that equally, which - frankly - amazes me.

said Scaramouch on September 26, 2009 1:00 PM.

Makes sense to me. David is the most common male name of all in the western world. The others on the male list are just names that are common. Because the practice of trying to get lucky on a first date is ...common. I guess Callum is a normal name in Britain.

My guess is that Bambi and Jezebel weren't on the multiple-choice list.

said Miss Cellania on September 26, 2009 1:16 PM.

Well, that's not very scientific...

said strathmeyer on September 26, 2009 2:10 PM.

I don't think so, Miss C. Then where is Michael, John and Jose? This was a very scientific process. Like splitting the atom or inserting cheese in pizza crust.

said Johnny Wright on September 26, 2009 2:41 PM.

WOO HOO!!! IM NUMBER NINE!!! PERSONALLY I FEEL IM MORE OF A TWO, BUT OH WELL... I'LL TRY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN AND BETTER MY RANKING NEXT YEAR.

said Kevin on September 26, 2009 4:27 PM.

Go get 'em Kevin!

JW

said Johnny Wright on September 26, 2009 4:32 PM.

Independent studies have shown the name Tim to be insignificant.

said Tim on September 26, 2009 5:30 PM.

Those are the same studies that associate "Pablo" with mustachioed banditos raiding small Mexican villages. Unfortunately I'm Irish-American and have only seen Mexico in Zorro Movies and Girls Gone Wild: Cancun.

Oh well...

said Sheriff Pablo on September 26, 2009 9:23 PM.

Wait, I'm confused. Sheriff, you're not a mustachioed bandit?

What next? Dogs and cats living together? Mass hysteria!

said Johnny Wright on September 27, 2009 2:35 AM.

Guys who's names start with G gets all kind of puss!

said G on September 27, 2009 7:05 AM.

Sorry to break it to ya J-Dubs, But I don't have Bandoliers of bullets or a sombrero either,

I do however have a derby hat and a shileighleigh...

said Sheriff Pablo on September 27, 2009 10:01 AM.

sweet fucking christ....Another one? Did someone leave food out on the counter again? We're being over-run with cucarachas!

said Sheriff Pablo on September 27, 2009 11:02 PM.

Hey, this is the first top ten list I've ever made. I'm pretty excited...who wants to romp?

said Vicky on September 28, 2009 5:51 PM.

Dangit Vicky ... I hate that you starting giving it away again as soon as I leave town.

I'm going to Lisa's.

said Tim on September 28, 2009 6:13 PM.

Lisa's currently tied up at my place in a three way with me and Chantelle, sorry Tim.

said Scaramouch on September 28, 2009 11:03 PM.

Rats! I guess I'll have to go to Michelle's and beg for mercy.

Looks like I picked a bad week to introduce Stacy to Debbie.

Or maybe not ...

said Tim on September 28, 2009 11:29 PM.

Well Tim, you left me with no monkey love. What's a girl to do?

The night you left, I was lonely. I went to a party, and got into a great conversation with Danny, Kevin and Jason. As you might imagine...one thing led to another...

said Vicky on September 29, 2009 9:19 AM.

It's just like Danny, Kevin and Jason to use great conversation as a prelude to sex. Amateurs.

said Tim on September 29, 2009 10:32 AM.

and...what's my favorite prelude to sex, monkey man?

said Vicky on September 30, 2009 11:32 PM.

That's easy ... a cozy meal for two of flapjacks with maple syrup.

said Tim on October 1, 2009 12:31 AM.

This is horrible! LOL I am never googling my first name again...and all I wanted was to see if I could find out how many people have my name!

said Chantelle on October 13, 2009 4:47 PM.

Wait Chantelle - don't go. We're having an editorial drinkup in a couple of weeks, are you free?

said Scaramouch on October 13, 2009 5:05 PM.

lmao, ma ex is called chantel <<< spelt like that tho... we both deffo went for it the 1st tym we met

said David on October 22, 2009 7:46 PM.
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