Poor Glen Beck.
Lately the crazier he gets, the more advertisers leave his show.
Every day there's another 2 or 3 companies that don't want their brand associated with his brand of, um, comedy.
Pussies!
The advertisers I mean.
Like you, I want Glenn Beck to succeed.
So I've searched my limited database of knowledge (Bing.com) to find some more appropriate products that could fill the void left by Geico, Sargento Cheese, P&G, Progressive Insurance and a host of others who've pulled their ads from Beck's nightly broadcast.
If the makers of these 10 products are brave enough and crazy enough to step forward with their media dollars, Glen insightful program will survive.
10 Products That Could Save the Glen Beck Show: They're crazy, just like Glen Beck.
10. Ceramic Smoking Baby: Get the kids in on the movement early. Light them up here.
9. Cold War Unicorn Play Set: Right thinking parents need toys for their kids to enjoy. So kill that commie unicorn. Strike down its socialist idealism.
8. The Zombie of Montclaire Moors Statue: Zombies. Liberals. Same thing. This is target practice in your garden.
7. Create a Commie: Draw on those socialist fears. Fun for the car rides to the anti-health care rally.
6.. Last Supper After Dinner Mints: Thank God for freedom, protectionism, and fresh breath.
5. 666 Allergy and Cold Relief: The current state of America makes me sick and congested. There's only one thing that gives me relief, Satan's Cold medicine.
4. Condoms: Some demographics shouldn't procreate. And one Glen Beck in the world is enough don't you think?
3. Head Spa Massager: Looks as crazy as it sounds. Wear from 5-6 pm nightly. Available where other crazy products are sold, Sky Mall.
2. Cuchini: Terrorists are everywhere and Democrats are not doing anything about it. Thankfully the Cuchini stops camel toe in your undies. (This is a real product.)
1. Head On: For common sense, apply directly to the forehead.
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Great post, wish I'd thought of it.
Since he's always crying that America is no longer the place he grew up in, these might work as well:
http://www.thetissuestore.com/Store_ViewProdDetail.asp?ProdID=12149&Cat=298
They should take "environmentally friendly" off the product description first, though.
I want Glenn to succeed at something too.
http://diebeckdie.blogspot.com/
While it may look like the author of that blog is "Die Beck Die," it's actually just German for "The Beck The."
I can't get on board with his death.
I mean, the longer Glen's on the air, saying crazy shit, misspelling stuff, the more traffic blogs like ours and Elkabong's get.
I like Camel Toe. On those who can pull it off, of course.