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Well This Explains Everything

BillyMays-TheCard.jpg Sadly, it appears that Billy Mays' heart disease wasn't from eating fatty foods, using too much Oxy Clean or hawking various other pieces of shit late night infomercial junk.  Apparently, he got the pep in his step from cocaine...you know....nose candy, Florida Snow, wacky dust, bouncing powder, gold dust, joy powder....check out the full report here.

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13 Comments

Finally a celeb death that will push MJ out of the press.

said Chad on August 7, 2009 9:12 PM.

We can only dream Chad....we can only dream.........

said Bigus Dickus on August 7, 2009 9:31 PM.

Ah Billy, not the booger sugar...

said Johnny Wright on August 7, 2009 10:13 PM.

I hope Billy May's death doesn't mean we'll be seeing more of Vince from ShamWow.

said Jimbo on August 7, 2009 10:29 PM.

Yeah, cause the shamwow dude is so respectable. he beats prostitutes up but at least he's not high on the powder!

said Ernesto on August 8, 2009 12:30 AM.

You know, I was going to comment on this wonderful post....but...I was so distracted by the tweets tab, I lost my train of thought.

said EffenIdontcare on August 8, 2009 12:41 AM.

the what tabs?

said phatlard on August 8, 2009 1:57 AM.

You don't like m lovely tweets tab?

said Scaramouch on August 8, 2009 10:21 AM.

I have it on good authority that Billy Mays was Oxycontin clean.

said Tincase on August 8, 2009 11:17 AM.

Wow, Billy Mays is only a level 6 creature? That means I only have to sacrifice one monster to summon him!

said Your Mom's New Boyfriend on August 8, 2009 12:13 PM.

Cocaine, hookers, absorbant cloth wars - what is it with these pitch men?

said Tiggy on August 8, 2009 5:58 PM.

To be fair, Billy Mays made his initial fortune selling buckets of white powder.....

said Sheriff Pablo on August 8, 2009 6:42 PM.

You gotta admit, the guy was way too enthusiastic about bleach powder or whatever he was hawkin.

said E on August 9, 2009 12:24 AM.
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