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The Hamptons Weekend Part II: Wine Tasting
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(This is Part II in a five part series on my trip out to the Hamptons this past weekend.)

I like Mo. I've known him for a little over five hours and I'm already reorganizing my top ten list of best friends. I realize he's a good person when one of my fellow travel companions asks for a Starbucks order so complicated and intricate, it would make Will Hunting's ears bleed. Mo, who is also one of the chaperones on the trip, doesn't blink. He doesn't talk back. He smiles and comes back a few minutes later with the drink order exactly as it was placed. This is someone you want to hang out with. He's easy going, aims to please, and understands people. I quickly realize that, with Mo around, this is going to be an easy weekend.

I did a wine tasting tour in Sonoma a few years ago. We drank so much wine that, by the end of the trip, a Nalgene bottle filled with urine would have tasted good. And as I tasted the last bottle of wine we had on this tour, I decided it was the greatest thing ever. I slapped my credit card on the table and asked for a case of bottles to be shipped across the country back to New York. Hundreds of dollars and thousands of miles later, I realized I'd ordered 12 bottles of a merlot so mediocre, my money would have been better spent getting the tattoo of Wilford Brimley removed from my left ankle. But that's the problem with wine tastings - they get you drunk enough that everything tastes good.

Since the point of this weekend was to teach us how to be sensitive men, in line with Axe's new sensitive skin shower gel, our next stop was to a wine and cheese tasting set up on the back deck of the house. Women like men who know a thing or two about wine. Not only does it make you look sensitive, but also sophisticated. The ladies from Swirl Events set up an awesome spread with two whites, a rosé, and two bottles of red. There were cheese and chocolate pairings as well. I was really passionate about learning the intricacies of each bottle and the appropriate pairing, until I got halfway through and decided I just wanted to get drunk.

Mo informed me that we'd each be able to take a bottle home, and asked the incredibly poignant question: "Would you get a bottle of wine you like, or one your girlfriend likes? Keep in mind you just got out of sensitivity training." Hence, he successfully threw me between a rock and a hard place. I love reds, while Lindsey is a white and rosé type of girl. And so, in a drunken haze, I had to make a quick decision. Please myself or please the girlfriend? And, as is also the case in the bedroom, I decided to please myself.

I indicated that I wanted a bottle of the Abeja (a red), and Mo just shook his head. Obviously I'd learned nothing in the previous session.
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1 Comment

Echo, I feel for you man.
Tell, Mo, STFU and just pour the damn wine! You will deal with sensitivity in Part V.

said EffenIdontcare on August 12, 2009 2:50 AM.
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