From the Sports/Prosthetic Penis Desk...

(That's a very small department here at the YBNBY Home Office.)

In 2005, Vikings running back Onterrio Smith was passing through security at the Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport. The knuckleheads at TSA saw something odd in the x-ray. "Sir, what is this huge fake schlong doing in your carry-on?"

That turned out to be the infamous "Whizzinator." A device originally intended to help stoners and juicers to beat drug tests. The gadget came "as a kit complete with dried urine and syringe, heater packs (to keep the urine at body temperature), a false penis (available in several skin tones including white, tan, latino, brown, and black) and instruction manual." Smith was later suspended for the season after a third violation of the NFL's substance abuse policy. Tom Sizemore has also been busted with one.

Somehow, the offending fake wiener came up for auction. You would think that folks would bid not to take the thing home. But Matt Little, owner of the Buster's Sports Bar & Grill in Mankato, thought the dick would make a great addition to the joint's decor. Matty ponied up $750 clams for Smith's Whizzinator. The fake penis will be encased in glass in the bar's memorabilia section for all to see. Makes perfect sense, Matt.

How about a nice Warren Moon jersey? Can I get a nice Warren Moon jersey!?!