Well, so says the poster of this dubious video.

Normally I take great joy in mocking and deriding conspiracy theorists. They are like cartoons. However, I have to side with the crazies on this one. Jacko definitely faked his death. This is obvious. That smallish guy in the dark hood and in the shadows has to be the King of Pop. Heading to join a tea party with Elvis, Jim Morrison, Biggie and Tupac.



The purveyor of this bollocks says:

This video shows that Michael was still alive after his dead body was transported to the Los Angeles Dept. of Coroner I checked the license plate number and it looks like the King of Pop is jumping out of the same van, his dead body has been in. I got the original video tape from a trustworthy source. I know him for years. And I am sure it´s real and Michael is alive.

Don't believe it when more Michael Jackson cuts are released and they say he had a bunch in the vault. Not so. He is still alive and recording pop songs and Moonwalking and cashing the checks and serving "Jesus Juice" to his, uh ... guests.

According to reports, tickets for James Cameron's much over-hyped film Avatar are already on sale. The movie doesn't hit theaters until December 18.

About 75 AMC theaters, most of which have an IMAX 3D screen, are offering tickets four months in advance on MovieTickets.com and Fandango. Better hurry! These are going fast! Pop up the tents in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre! Four months of camping to see the next abuse, plunder and rape of CGI effects.

Next week tickets are going on sale for Jurassic Park 4. No, they haven't starting shooting it yet, but you have to get a jump on these things.

Here is what you can already buy tickets for:



My little brother Drew described the Avatar teaser best. "It looks like a bad video game for the broadway play Cats." Yep...

Each day, I wake up and go to work.  Each day, I sit behind a desk and perform my I.T. tasks without much of a thought.  Each day, at lunch I grab my yellow gym bag, change into my running clothes and shoes and hit the road for 45 minutes of enjoyment.  Each day, I change, get a shower and head back to work without as much of a thought as to what I just did.  Everyday, I usually get asked "How was the weather on your run?" or "How far did you run today?".  I answer with a joke or tell them how long and they throw in a "Wow that's far!" or "That's a long time!  My lazy ass gets winded walking to the fridge.  Keep it up!" as a response and life goes on.  People know me around work as that guy who runs and ask questions here and there that I answer without any problems.

Today was different though.  I finally had a question that made me stop and think.  Someone actually asked me "Why do you run?"  Throughout my run today, it was a question that kept my mind pondering and hopefully my reasons here are better than what I mumbled to my co-worker.

Are the differences in word choice regional? Generational, perhaps?

What's your go-to phrase to express your incredulity at the obviousness of another person's statement? Vote and leave a comment after the jump.

And if you also add the word "no" to the term, as in:

"Geez, this poll sure is stupid and pointless."
"No duh."

-then feel free to enlighten us about that as well.

Alright all you cryptozoologists, check out this Venn Diagram of mythical creatures. Oddly, I didn't see my ex-girlfriend on the list. Being a monster and a bitch, one would think her inclusion is a given. No?

(Via LaughingSquid)

This must be from one of those reality shows, either the one where they swap wives or the one where they act like they are swapping wives to prank someone. Regardless of how staged it is, this kid is a hoot! I'm just glad he's not mine...

Not sure what to think of this batch of novelty tea bags.

On one hand, it's a unique conversation piece. Strippers bathing in your hot tea.
Grandma might love it?

On the other hand, it's hot tea. Does it really need sexual overtones?
I'm mean if you're gonna go down that road, why not make it a picture of a scrotum? You know, so you're dunking Teaz Nutz.

Just saying...

Anyway, kudos to Donkey Products for creating this line of Strip Tea.

Also, for our fans of the royalty, you can put the Queen, Prince Charles and that horse Camilla in Royal Tea. Don't forget Obama, Putin and Berlusconi in Democratea.

The Internet has a new star. I hope. She's hilarious.

Lots of great one-liners in this helpful make up lesson.

Find more of Glow's video's here.

In this episode of 3 Chords & the Truth, Adam and Johnny discuss Adam's idea to build giant mirrors on the New Jersey side of the Hudson River, Plaxico Burress's prison consultant, being arrested for stupid, and how Johnny would decorate his prison cell.

As you'll no doubt notice, this particular day was rather windy. And because the entire budget for 3 Chords & the Truth is spent on Johnny's candy addiction, we don't have money for better equipment. And while we aren't ones to panhandle on the internet, if you happen to be a multi-millionaire and want to throw some cash our way for a new high-def camera and lavalier mics, we'd be appreciative. We could also use some new televisions, a car, a pool table, and some hooker money.

From The Enchanted Drawing to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, here's five minutes of over 100 years of visual effects. (Notably absent is footage from The Matrix, perhaps one of, if not THE most influential special effects film of the past 15 years.) Needless to say, the clip gives a great retrospective as to just how far we've come. And the music, Rods and Cones by the Blue Man Group was a perfect choice for the soundtrack.

(Via Gizmodo)

The advantages of that kind of woman, sung by Tim Minchin.

(via Bits and Pieces)

This could be very useful for those who like sex, but don't necessarily want to see their partner naked. Or who don't want to be seen naked. The world is full of people who should never be seen naked, but we they have sex, too. That might be the one valid reason to buy a Snuggie! Anyway, the Snuggie Sutra gives you graphic instructions for sexual positions that can be hidden and warmed by a Snuggie.