From The Sports Desk...

Or is this Monkey News? Bloody hell, I really don't know. This tale is in a class by itself. You may want to fetch yourself a chilled beverage and prepare yourselves for this one.

Zev Chafets has a book on the shelves right now that is inspiring debate. Cooperstown Confidential challenges the validity of the condemnation of the guilty during the Steroids Era. It isn't fair that we cast stones at Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez ... my fingers are getting tired ... you know, all the rest of those cheatin' bums. Chafet writes that even baseball sacred cows Mickey Mantle, Sandy Koufaz and Hank Aaron took some sort of performance enhancing substance. Usually amphetamines, which is well established as a problem in baseball's past. He also brings up the story that Ty Cobb bragged about killing someone and he's in the Hall. He may have a point there.

But here is the fun story. That of Pud Galvin, the first 300 game winner in baseball history. Pud played from 1875 to 1892 for the Saint Louis Brown Stockings, Buffalo Bisons and a few other clubs. Including the infamous Pittsburgh Burghers who only existed for one season. "The Little Steam Engine," as Pud was called because of his durability, still holds the record for most games started in a season at a whopping 75. What could have given Pud his super-strength and rubber arm? Well, perhaps monkey testosterone.

In 1889 Pud openly swigged (and touted the benefits of) the Brown-Séquard Elixir. A concoction made by physician Charles-Édouard Brown-Séquard. Supposedly this is the first case of a baseball player using "performance enhancing drugs." I guess. One of the main ingredients was indeed, monkey testosterone. The "juice" also featured extract from the "testicles of guinea pigs and dogs." Fantastic.

Why couldn't we have had this elixir used by today's players? Imagine if we could call Alex Rodriguez "Monkey Spunk." That's fun for the whole family.