A very amusing mashup featuring Food Network host Sandra Lee.

Simply delicious
Yummy
Juicy
And very saucy.

Enjoy lots more the spoofy goodness at Food Network Humor

We all wanted to see it when we were kids. We thought it was lost forever. Not so. Somehow, hacky rag US Weekly obtained the footage of when Michael Jackson's Jheri curl went up in flames.

It's way worse than I imagined.

In 1984, MJ was shooting a Pepsi commercial at the Shrine Auditorium. A pyrotechnic mishap set the King of Pop alight. The burns were serious and the aftermath may have been the start of a long prescription drug dependency. See for yourself.

(Note - moved to after the jump as the embed was killing the home page)

With the rash of recent celebrity deaths, we had to get this one up quickly before it became inaccurate. Heading back to my apartment, I test Johnny on his knowledge of famous people and whether or not they're alive. In true Johnny fashion, he supplies little anecdotes and quips about each star mentioned.

What's notable about this episode, aside from my cat meowing about :54 in, is this is the first episode in which we feature a guitar. (Amazing that we've gone 12 episodes without breaking one out.) So sit back, relax, and see if you know whether these people are dead ... or not. And for those interested, here's Rip Torn's mugshot.

I've been watching a little bit of TV lately, and occasionally see ads for Cialis and other ED and "male enhancement" drugs. If you didn't know what they were talking about, you wouldn't know what they were talking about. This is just a little different. Spam email makes the purpose of the product very very clear, even if the grammar and syntax are hopelessly garbled. The audio of this is probably not safe for work, in case your boss is paying attention.

From Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandpa's liquor cabinet...

The beer fanatics at Dogfish Head have a knack for recreating ancient beers.

First there was Midas Touch, a brew based off molecular analysis of goblets found in King Midas' tomb. Next came the 9,000 year old Chinese beer Chateau Jiahu.

Now, with the help of molecular archeologist Dr. Patrick McGovern, they've got a beer circa 9AD. Sah'tea, released in May, is "brewed with rye, caramelized with white hot river rocks, then ferment it with a German Weizen yeast."

Throw in some juniper berries foraged directly from the Finnish country-side and some tea made with "black tea, cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and black pepper," and presto.
Modern version of ancient brew.

I can't wait to try a bottle.

Sah'tea would go fabulous with a 2,700 yr old bag of pot .
I imagine.

DATELINE: Middle Earth

This is going to sound like I'm making it up. That your old pal J-Dub is having a laugh with you. Except I'm not this clever. So it will sound like something The Onion made up.

Kansas Senator Sam Brownback has introduced the "Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act of 2009." The proposed bill will ban the creation of human-animal hybrids. Well it's about time.

Says Senator Brownback:

This legislation works to ensure that our society recognizes the dignity and sacredness of human life. Creating human-animal hybrids, which permanently alter the genetic makeup of an organism, will challenge the very definition of what it means to be human and is a violation of human dignity and a grave injustice.

Oh the humanity. Believe it or not, this crackpot bill has 22 co-sponsors including John McCain. Perhaps these Senators have some secret knowledge about mad scientists fusing Fiji Mermaids and other half-man, half-beasts. Perhaps they know what the hell is going on with Montauk Monster and the Plum Island Animal Disease Center. Or... it could be this is the dumbest freaking thing I have ever heard.

Our country has actual problems, Senators. Minotaurs goring pedestrians on the Upper West Side is not one of them. Tell you what, you morons stop wasting time and tax dollars worrying about merman and try tackling education, the economy and health care, and I'll cover the wisecracks about the Chimera. Deal? Good.

Idiots...

A squirrel tried to grab a quick snack from a yogurt container.
Only, it got stuck on his head.

Luckily a camera man caught it on tape.

Go ahead laugh, it's funny. (The squirrel is fine now.)

Now, the real question was how would the local news handle this cute tidbit.

Yup.
Looks like they gave it to the intern.