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The Only "Person" I Am Concerned About: Bubbles
People Mag Bubbles.jpg

I honestly don't care about Michael Jackson dying. Frankly, the coverage and tributes and flowers and people crying is sickening. He was a bad guy. A creep. A string of great records doesn't overshadow the last 15 years to me.

The kids will be fine. Prince Michael George Forman, the Other One and Blanket or whatever the hell their names are, will be taken care of. The only one I am concerned with is Bubbles. The chimp already had a suicide attempt on the books. That isn't a joke. He really did try to kill himself. I just hope Bubbles is okay. Above is from People magazine back in 1986. Where Bubbles posed with the toy that he inspired. Click on it for the full version.

There was a toy line called "Michael's Pets." A collection of stuffed animals. There was also a frog, dog, rabbit, snake, ostrich, giraffe and Louie the llama.

Hang in there Bubbles. YesButNoButYes is with you.

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43 Comments

Johnny, my friend, this post deserves at least two bags of Goofy's Sour Balls!

said Vicky on June 29, 2009 4:15 PM.

As the article below states, Bubbles is either dead and plastinated (with Michael to join him) in an exhibit at the O2 center in London, or he's retired in a great apes sanctuary.

http://www.examiner.com/x-10593-Showbiz-Pets-Examiner~y2009m6d26-Update-on-Bubbles

said Greg on June 29, 2009 4:17 PM.

I didn't remember the monkey's name...

"Blowing Bubbles" has now a complete different meaning when I think of it AND Michael Jackson in the same thought-line...

said Leonardo Carvalho on June 29, 2009 4:23 PM.

Damn right Vicky.

Thanks Greg. It's my understanding that Bubbles lives on a ranch in Sylmar California.

JW

said Johnny Wright on June 29, 2009 4:29 PM.

I thought he was still in rehab.

said E on June 29, 2009 4:29 PM.

Let me google that for you:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubbles_(chimpanzee)

said Scaramouch on June 29, 2009 4:41 PM.

Johnny Wright, you're an asshole.

When ybnby gets rid of you I'll be back. Obviously you're here to stir up a little controversy and that'd be ok if you are interesting. But you're not interesting. You're lame. You come off as a whiny, xenophobic little bitch.

"I said, 'you just lost yourself a customer'".

said case on June 29, 2009 9:50 PM.

That is why the number stays at 77. For every one we gain, I piss off somebody else.

Though I'm pretty sure "case" is my Dad.

said Johnny Wright on June 29, 2009 10:37 PM.

Hey J-Dub... it seems that you are the one to blame on 2 losses here...
First Dave, after whining on your firearms opinion... now this case. Whoever (s)he might be, you've teased this one person hard!

Well, pobody is nerfect.

said Leonardo Carvalho on June 29, 2009 10:44 PM.

Maybe a diehard Michael Jackson fan that doesn't want to hear that he was a child molester. But, that is the first time anyone has accused me of xenophobia. That made me laugh.

said Johnny Wright on June 29, 2009 10:56 PM.

And I just can't see where xenophobia can be applied here...

said Leonardo Carvalho on June 29, 2009 11:01 PM.

The day after he died, I got several text messaged jokes....at first I felt like a bad person for finding them funny so....I pretended not to laugh. But by the third day, there was no turning back for me! I agree, his musical contribution does not make it ok for him to be a creepy chester.

It's been several days case, chill out!

What is that saying.... humor and good taste go together about as well as chaste whore?

said Vicky on June 29, 2009 11:27 PM.

Oh please, if we just whored ourselves out with inoffensive trivia to get as much traffic as possible by not offending anyone, we'd just be Mental Floss.

Oh, did I say that out loud? (I'm just kidding, we love those guys. Err, and gals)

said Scaramouch on June 29, 2009 11:47 PM.

hey steve, i guess you must be whored-out by now from all those years in advertising... was it bill bernbach or leo burnett who said "We are all happy hookers." ?

said juls on June 30, 2009 3:08 AM.

The Boss Man from WAY downtown!

said Sheriff Pablo on June 30, 2009 6:28 AM.

Juls, ahhh, the lure of the streets :)

And this in from Bebe Le Strange on twitter: "@yesbutnobutyes this is apparently where Bubbles is http://bit.ly/Jxs5V"

said Scaramouch on June 30, 2009 9:55 AM.

Juls, sounds more like something David Ogilvy or J Walter Thompson would say.

said Baierman on June 30, 2009 10:58 AM.

Oh MAN! Remember that videogame Xenophobe? It was basically the Expedition to the Barrier Peaks in brought to 3-player arcade life.

Thanks for bringing back the memories, JW. Without you and good old Howie Lovecraft, where would Xenophobia be?

Incidentally, Johnny's "Bubbles Manifesto" has quickly become the rallying cry for Citizens of a Future Earth With the Statue of Liberty Buried on the Beach.

Heston is not pleased.

said Don't Swayze Bro on June 30, 2009 11:07 AM.

Glad to be of service, pally.

said Johnny Wright on June 30, 2009 11:14 AM.

If xenophobia is dislike or fear of child molesters, I'd be ok being called a xenophobe...

said Pauly Sparerib on June 30, 2009 11:25 AM.

Xenophobia!

Didn't Kim Carnes have big hit in the 80s with that song?

said Baierman on June 30, 2009 11:36 AM.

Pauly makes a solid point.

said Johnny Wright on June 30, 2009 11:42 AM.

Beating up MJ is extreme xenophobia...
I mean, the guy came from outer space, became friend of a little boy, was dressed like a girl, and all he was trying was to phone home and call his relatives to pick him up... He never wanted to cause any harm to Elliot.

said Leonardo Carvalho on June 30, 2009 11:47 AM.

if the opposite of "inoffensive trivia" (the hell does that mean?) is ruffling feathers just for the we're-so-progressive self back-pat, then i'll side with case. it's fine if you don't care that michael jackson died, but i don't see the point in insulting other people's celebratory tributes. it's kind of boring.

directing personal insults toward a celebrity are on par with that asshat perez hilton (and he doesn't count as a celebrity). i believe artists and entertainers, unless you know them personally, should be judged by on their artistic output, not their personal lives.

said movie looks good on June 30, 2009 12:53 PM.

You bet, we'll only talk about celebrities we know personally. You hear that Sandy Duncan? You got an earful coming Wheat Thins!

said Johnny Wright on June 30, 2009 1:30 PM.

mlg, I agree completely. It's that kind of logic we'll be following with our upcoming "great masters of painting" gallery, featuring a glowing retrospective of the landscapes of Adolf Hitler, and in the children's corner, funny clowns by John Wayne Gacy. Because we don't know either of them personally, we'd hate to sit in judgement.

said Scaramouch on June 30, 2009 2:32 PM.

Slammed...

said Johnny Wright on June 30, 2009 2:46 PM.

Technically, an intense disdain for the alien life form that was Michael Jackson is more properly defined as "EOphobia."

said Don't Swayze Bro on June 30, 2009 2:50 PM.

PS - The most hilarious feature of YBNBY is the fact that the most intense, hateful arguments erupt around here anytime Johnny Wright comes to the defense of monkeys.

Serial killers, repugnant sex practices, obscene baked goods come and go, but nothing, and I mean nothing, raises hell like JW and a monkey scorned.

said Don't Swayze Bro on June 30, 2009 2:54 PM.

invoking hitler, nice.

here's what I meant: I don't judge artistic output against personal-life activity, including possible transgressions. counterpoint taken, but the people you mentioned aren't "celebrities" in the sense that mj was, their "art" isn't celebrated save for its psychological consideration, and their crimes are without dispute.

said movie looks good on June 30, 2009 3:18 PM.

Wanted to include a link to this thoughful piece on MJ, which actually expresses my own feelings better than I ever could.

http://www.koaxkoaxkoax.com/ribbit/2009/06/some-thoughts-on-michael-jacks.html

said Scaramouch on June 30, 2009 3:56 PM.

ROFL @ DSB
I was just about to make a similar comment.
Things are normally so harmonious around here.

said Evangeline on June 30, 2009 3:59 PM.

Don't mess with the monkeys.

said Johnny Wright on June 30, 2009 4:20 PM.

Oh yeah, talk bad about me all you want, Movie, but I'll be damned if someone is going to say Sandy Duncan isn't a celebrity. That woman is a national treasure!

said Johnny Wright on June 30, 2009 4:27 PM.

I kind of agree with Movie...

1. Don't judge celebrities by their personal life activity.
Finally we can all agree on one thing: Ronald Reagan was a truly shitty actor.

2. Sandy Duncan blows. Sorry JDubs, but she's a poor substitute for Julie Andrews.

3. Leave Hitler out of this.
He's not in the same league as Michael Jackson. He couldn't moonwalk or sing. And it's not like Michael every anointed himself ruler of anything.


said Baierman on June 30, 2009 4:46 PM.

Sandy Duncan Trivia:

* Sandy Duncan developed eye cancer in the 1970s from sitting to close to a Zenith Chromacolor during an episode of BJ and the Bear.

* Sandy Duncan was the director's first choice to play Kunte Kinte in Alex Haley's Roots, but had to bow out due to a scheduling conflict with the Muppet Show.

* Years before the Ritz Bits was perfected, Nabisco crackers and Peter Pan peanut butter brands were in talks to develop a cracker/pizza bite based on Duncan's unsung efforts to stabilize dictatorships in Latin America. It was to be called the Sandy Neatza!(tm) The Iran Contra scandal ended the product in development.

said Don't Swayze Bro on June 30, 2009 4:50 PM.

Okay, BM. I'm sorry. I lost my temper.

said Johnny Wright on June 30, 2009 5:07 PM.

"I don't judge artistic output against personal-life activity, including possible transgressions. "

Fair enough but JW did credit him with 'A string of great records'.

Hypothetically, if I knew he was a pedophile would I still enjoy the music? Probably. I'd rationalize it by assuming he wasn't a pedophile when he made Thriller. I've seen some of that going on recently. "I prefer to remember him at 24" (before he went all weird).

said E on June 30, 2009 5:13 PM.

Momma-say-momma-sa-ma-ma-coo-sa E.


said Baierman on June 30, 2009 6:00 PM.

...Actually one of my art history professors played a slightly mean trick on everyone. She managed to dig out the one and only Hitler landscape that was good (and I mean, this one was good, but I can't find it on google anywhere. The other ones on the internet are pretty iffy, but this one really had character.) And then she proceeded to make us say nice things about it only to tell us Hitler had painted it. I really didn't learn the lesson. I think the lesson was supposed to be 'only Masters can make Masterpieces' but I learned he did one thing that I liked, and that not everyone is all bad.

said Eddy on July 1, 2009 4:33 AM.

Is that the lesson, that not everyone is all bad? I would have thought the lesson was that actually people that ARE all bad can fool smart people into thinking they're just tortured geniuses.

said Scaramouch on July 1, 2009 7:48 AM.

Negativland said it best:

If someone told, no,
Accused of fucking teen-aged boys and beating others cold
You'd side with me!
And enough of your would doubt it, which would likely set me free
You'd say I didn't do it and that anyone could tell,
'cause he's smooth and smart and pretty
And he reads his lines so well
And to be your happy hero
I'd just sing another verse
The more I sing,
The more you would relieve me from my curse
Release me from your consciousness
As I bring down the floor
Selling Pepsi from the stage,
You yell and scream for more

----------------------
Negativland - Happy Hero

Poor MJ... Tortured genius that made obscene amounts of money. Boo-frikken-hoo. In reality he was the beneficiary of a gigantic marketing machine. Most of it was Quincy Jones who wrote/arranged/produced the tunes and MJ was just a face to put with the music. Get a clue. Artistic genius my foot. The guy was a face for an amazing producer and a giant marketing machine.

If he wasn't famous, these self-same people would be the first to be saying this asshole deserved the gas chamber. Step back for a second and ask yourself what you'd think if this was just some guy who lived down the street from you. If we can excuse him drugging and raping 10 year old boys, what is unforgivable anymore? Seriously.

I guess if Manson's albums had been more danceable we'd be forgiving him too. You people who keep making excuses for a crazy pedophile need to check yourselves.

said LostInDaJungle on July 1, 2009 12:30 PM.

So Hitler drew a nice picture. Teacher shows it to class and elicits positive responses. I don't get it. What is the point? Was his artistic ability tied to the Holocaust somehow? I don't think so.

Nice shock trick though. I can see people remembering the lesson without being especially illuminated by this.

said E on July 1, 2009 1:45 PM.
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