The NY Yankees have spend 1.3 billion dollars on a state of the art stadium.
Its luxurious and fancy with bells and whistle galore.
There's just one little problem: they haven't sold more than 50,000 seats for a single game. (STATS) That means not one legit sell out for a stadium that seats about 53k and was supposed to pack them in every night.
If you've watched a game you know a vast majority of those empty seats are in the luxury spots, in plain view of the TV cameras. These are the $1200-$2500 premium seats behind the dugout, homeplate and the luxury suites.
While we're happy the fat cats and lawyers who built this stadium look like morons, a few of us here at yesbutnobutyes would still like to help.
Johnny Wright and I have hit our brains against some Louisville Sluggers, expensed a lunch using AROIDs credit card, and devised some incentives that we think will nudge the Yankee brass to lower prices and finally sell out the stadium.
Or not.
It's raining and it's Friday, so lets have some baseball fun...
1. Make ticket prices behind the first and third base dugouts, the same as Nick Swisher's batting average. Right now that's only $251.00. Meanwhile the best seats behind home plate will be priced the same as CC Sebathia's weight. Right now that's only $293.00.
2. Costume night. Discount seats for anyone who dresses up. Pure chaos!
Plus, it would be hard for opposing pitchers to work with ninjas, cowboys, Harry Potter, slutty nurses and Chewbacca behind home plate.
3. New York Governor Patterson Night: All blind and incompetent people get in free. Special guests include Mayors Bloomberg and Giuliani. Seating is general admission.
4. Behind home plate is one giant mariachi band. Caliente! always draws a crowd.
5. Entice wealthy Red Sox fans to purchase chunks of premium seats and give them away to other Sox fans or visiting teams fan clubs. After a game or so of visiting fans cheering in prime seats, ticket prices would plummet.
6. Homeless night. Distribute tickets to homeless of the Tri-State area. We'd love to see our very own Homeless Frank sitting behind home plate with as many of his friends as possible. This night, timed with Ching Ming Wangs next start, would work nicely.
7. Imaginary friend night. Whoops, that's the current promotion. Sorry, strike that.
8. Old timers day. No, not for players, for fans.
Seniors 70+ get in free. This would be limited to day games, but nothing would force the yanks to see the error of their pricing like thousands of seniors bitching and moaning about hot dogs that used to cost a nickel. And the time when Sushi was just an asian hooker on 43rd street.
9. CGI fans. The Yankees petition the city of New York for another 2 million in tax free bonds. This covers the cost for computer graphic equipment that will render CGI people who will sit and cheer in all the empty seats at the touch of a keystroke.
10. Old Yankee Stadium price day. Rollback ticket prices for all seats to what they were last year. At the old stadium. When prices were only outrageous. Bonus, this game could be played at the old stadium. Now everybody's happy.
Lets go Yankees! Bring home #27!
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Capital suggestions. Yall are playing pretty good too.
Could also have Guido night where you get free steroids with your ticket. Half price tickets if you're wearing a muscle shirt, spray tan, spiked hair, and a pucker.
I did help a little with these, however, I cannot endorse "Lets go Yankees! Bring home #27!"
That sentiment stands alone with Baierman.
Can't wait for Homeless Night.
E, that's a good 1/3-1/4 of the crowd every night. The die hards.
They don't need to make it easier for them to buy tickets. That's the marketing sweet spot.
How about "homeless pinch runner night". Put street people in as pinch runners. What they lack in speed they make up for in desire to make it "home". Or perhaps crack whore pinch runner night--who's gonna tag them out?