Not everyone decides against fighting hair loss and hits the clippers like I did. (I'm a quitter in this regard.)
And so a whole wacky industry has sprung up to help guys and gals maintain the illusion that they're not going bald. Some treatments are hardcore: transplants, hair plugs and wigs that super glue on your head.
The ones I found are just ridiculous.
Like the tonics and old remedies that were peddled in the early 20th century, these hair loss treatments claim to reverse, fix or mask the inevitable.
Once you finish reading this list you may come to the same conclusion I did. They may not cure your bald spot but they are all guaranteed to take your money.
X5 Hair laser
It's all over the news media: "Low Level Laser light has been shown as the most effective new treatment available for thinning hair." That's what the makers of this product would like you to think.
If you've got money to burn, I can tell you a lot of things that are over the news.
Cue the Pointer Sisters.
Toppik
You shake it on your head.
Little specs match the color of your hair, magnetically stick to whatever hair you have left and give you the appearance of a full head of hair.
Now, read that again and try not to laugh.
All that's missing is the salt.
Hairmax Lasercomb
Lasers aren't just for sharks or the Death Star. This one looks like a comb, so you can pretend to still be styling your scalp.
(A little rule I've noticed looking at these kind of products: The more low budget the production, the less legit the product appears to be. But what do I know, "laser comb absolutely works!")
GLH Hair System
Which is the technical way to say Spray on hair.
Yes, it's still okay to laugh at this stuff. Like Rustoleum for your head, GLH is supposed to hide bald spots. And help those going through hair plug therapy mask the scares.
Comes complete with shampoo and "Finishing Shield" so your head can deflect a blow from blunt objects.
Into the pit of hades with this I say.
A Book
You can write whatever the fudge you want in a book.
When it comes to hair loss, people will buy it. Grow Hair in 12 weeks is just one in a long line of hair help books.
This author figured out the best way to get people to save their hair was to get them to pay $20, read 160 pages, then buy all sorts of crazy stuff.
On review on Amazon said: "I bought everything that Riquette recommends...The oils, shampoo, vodka, aspirin, alka seltzer, everything was priced at about $150.00."
Not sure which vodka works best but I'm quite sure she just embellished Bugs Bunny's idea.
Derma Roller
The art of acupuncture helps promote hair growth?
Roll these spikes around your scalp and "release" the natural oils in your skin, promoting healthy hair growth.
Then keep it in your bag and bludgeon any would be robber.
"Careful to numb the area before use. You probably won't draw blood."
Wait, what?
If you're on a quest to save you hair, best of luck.
Stumble This
Reddit!
That "why go bald" sign is in my neck of the woods in Dublin Ireland!!!
Des, are you a member?
Can you give us the scoop?
I, for one, am VERY interested!