ornate line
Hair growth products guaranteed to take your money


Not everyone decides against fighting hair loss and hits the clippers like I did. (I'm a quitter in this regard.)

And so a whole wacky industry has sprung up to help guys and gals maintain the illusion that they're not going bald. Some treatments are hardcore: transplants, hair plugs and wigs that super glue on your head.

The ones I found are just ridiculous.

Like the tonics and old remedies that were peddled in the early 20th century, these hair loss treatments claim to reverse, fix or mask the inevitable.

Once you finish reading this list you may come to the same conclusion I did. They may not cure your bald spot but they are all guaranteed to take your money.

X5 Hair laser


It's all over the news media: "Low Level Laser light has been shown as the most effective new treatment available for thinning hair." That's what the makers of this product would like you to think.

If you've got money to burn, I can tell you a lot of things that are over the news.

Cue the Pointer Sisters.



You shake it on your head.

Little specs match the color of your hair, magnetically stick to whatever hair you have left and give you the appearance of a full head of hair.

Now, read that again and try not to laugh.

All that's missing is the salt.

Hairmax Lasercomb


Lasers aren't just for sharks or the Death Star. This one looks like a comb, so you can pretend to still be styling your scalp.

(A little rule I've noticed looking at these kind of products: The more low budget the production, the less legit the product appears to be. But what do I know, "laser comb absolutely works!")

GLH Hair System

Which is the technical way to say Spray on hair.

Yes, it's still okay to laugh at this stuff. Like Rustoleum for your head, GLH is supposed to hide bald spots. And help those going through hair plug therapy mask the scares.
Comes complete with shampoo and "Finishing Shield" so your head can deflect a blow from blunt objects.

Into the pit of hades with this I say.

A Book

You can write whatever the fudge you want in a book.
When it comes to hair loss, people will buy it. Grow Hair in 12 weeks is just one in a long line of hair help books.

This author figured out the best way to get people to save their hair was to get them to pay $20, read 160 pages, then buy all sorts of crazy stuff.

On review on Amazon said: "I bought everything that Riquette recommends...The oils, shampoo, vodka, aspirin, alka seltzer, everything was priced at about $150.00."

Not sure which vodka works best but I'm quite sure she just embellished Bugs Bunny's idea.

Derma Roller

The art of acupuncture helps promote hair growth?
Roll these spikes around your scalp and "release" the natural oils in your skin, promoting healthy hair growth.

Then keep it in your bag and bludgeon any would be robber.

"Careful to numb the area before use. You probably won't draw blood."
Wait, what?

If you're on a quest to save you hair, best of luck.

Share on Facebook StumbleUpon ToolbarStumble This    Submit to RedditReddit!


That "why go bald" sign is in my neck of the woods in Dublin Ireland!!!

said Des on June 12, 2009 8:24 PM.

Des, are you a member?

Can you give us the scoop?
I, for one, am VERY interested!

said EffenIdontcare on June 13, 2009 8:07 PM.

I would like to introduce those readers who are serious about stopping hair loss to take a look at the guaranteed-hair-growth.com website. Try the product, then come back here and post your comments. What hair loss sufferers need to remember is this: hair loss is a serious issue and can be caused by several factors. A topical product will help mask these problems, but a corrective solution also needs to be implemented. The Rouse Hair Growth System utilizes 100% herbal ingredients in a capsule form and also a hair growth spray. The capsules work from the inside to revitalize your system, and the spray to works topically to clean your hair follicles, provide stimulating blood flow, and naturally lubricate and soften the scalp tissue so that new hair can grow more easily. GIVE IT A TRY and you can be your own judge.

said geellc777 on January 3, 2010 2:16 AM.
pop culture
blog on the
maybe not.

rss feed Breakfast Links Feed

Recent Comments

What we can learn from Donna "Treasure Bombshell" Simpson?
Dear Treasure Bombshell If you don’t’ love yourself think of your daughter. W

What we can learn from Donna "Treasure Bombshell" Simpson?
Dear Treasure Bombshell If you don’t’ love yourself think of your daughter. W

Where the Streets have Sexual Names
Lets not leave out Climax, Saskatchewan :)

Where are they now? Serial Killers
another true fact on Jeffry Dahlmer, sick puppy he is ..one book at library sai

Where Are They Now - The Griswold Kids
dana hill passed away now

Where Are They Now - The Griswold Kids
dana hill passed away now

Comments Feed

Special Features

Archives by Writer

New to YesButNoButYes?