"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" 1/2* (out of four): Even for a Michael Bay movie, this robot-on-robot sequel is a pointless, messy assault on the senses. The special effects, of course, are flawless. The rest is scrap metal.
Someone in Hollywood needs to call a doctor for Michael Bay. His condition is deteriorating and it's affecting his work. The notoriously A.D.D. director's "Transformers" sequel, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen", is such a pointless, messy assault on the senses that it's hard to even call it a movie. There is little intelligible plot, no characters to root for and hardly even a sense of place. What's left is basically a two-plus hour special effects reel. Even for a Michael Bay movie, it's just truly awful.
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Two words - Megan Fox.
Really, now, who watches a Michael Bay movie for the stories?
This is a popcorn movie. It has everything a popcorn movie needs: slow motion shots of things blowing up, things blowing up, a hot chick, giant robots punch fucking each other, and things blowing up.
Sure, it has some bad points. A thin storyline, awful dialogue, Shia Le Beouf, etc. But it also has THINGS BLOWING UP.
As a closing argument, I would like to refer to John Carpenter's Big Trouble in Little China. That movie was a cinematic turd, but I myself have worn out not only a VHS copy of the movie, but a DVD as well. And why is that?
Because it has things blowing up. Also, two girls with green eyes.
I enjoyed it, but I think the bottom was when they walked out of the back door of the Smithsonian and in to some sort of grassy desert area surrounded by mountains.
I loved the NY Times review this film today. Favorite line...
"The French filmmaker Jacques Rivette once described an auteur as someone who speaks in the first person. Mr. Bay prefers to shout. "
That being said, I will probably be seeing this movie for the same reason E will be seeing this movie. Hopefully they'll be many a slow pan of her.