Some are annoyed at my view that the lionization of Michael Jackson in recent days is obscene. That I should be more respectful to those fans weeping, wailing and gnashing their teeth as they moonwalk in front of Michael's childhood home.

Nope. Not going to happen. I don't see how you get a 15 year Mulligan just because you were a good dancer. The basis for my condemnation stems from two articles in Vanity Fair a few years ago. Both written by Maureen Orth who is Tim Russert's widow. I was riveted and disgusted as I read them.

The first was Losing His Grip in 2003. Followed by Neverland's Lost Boys in 2004.

If you'd like to read them, I linked to them. If you don't have the time, let me give a few highlights of what was revealed.

"Public Enemies" *** (out of four): Though it provides no insight into its subject, Michael Mann's John Dillinger biopic is still an engrossing period piece, thanks largely to the director's sure hand and signature style.

You have to say one thing about Michael Mann, he's consistent. The director of "Thief", "Collateral" and "Miami Vice" always approaches his films with exceptional style, typically at the expense of substance. With "Public Enemies", his John Dillinger biopic, Mr. Mann again displays his love for the extreme close-up, deep focus, and really, really loud gunshots. He also continues to have no truck with an establishing shot. And, as he did in his De Niro-Pacino epic "Heat", he again takes two powerhouse actors (Johnny Depp and Christian Bale) and teasingly drops them in a film in which they barely meet. It could be argued, in fact, that Depp and Bale are the De Niro and Pacino of their generation (which one's which? Discuss!), but that's a different story.

Read more on BigPictureBigSound...

Winston Zeddemore has never been given proper credit. He may not have been a college professor or possessed accountant, but he definitely kicked a lot of ectoplasmic ass. Chris Hardwick over at Nerdist has called attention to the distinct lack of Winston love, both in the film trailers, posters, and other marketing materials. But now, through the grace of the internets and some nifty FCP action, Winston isn't just a Ghostbuster, he's the Ghostbuster.

With so many 80's icons giving up the ghost this past week, there has also been crazy rumors floating around the interwebs. Jeff Goldblum fell off a cliff in New Zealand! George Clooney was attacked and mauled by a sasquatch! Natalie Portman spontaneously combusted! Again!

I thought we should just keep the rumors going. I don't want the fun to stop. So, at random, I picked another 80's icon and decided to kill him off. Just to get the rumors going again.

BULLETIN! Olympic hero Carl Lewis is dead!*

Oh no, not another one. This is awful. What is going on Universe? Have you no mercy?!? Lewis was volunteering at the Los Angeles Zoo, helping in the elephant paddock. One of the pachyderms (named Mr. Bojangles) was really backed up and could not defecate. While attempting to give the beast an olive oil enema, tragedy struck. Mr. Bojangles unloaded and buried Carl Lewis in 200 pounds of dung. By the time other zookeepers arrived on the scene, Lewis had suffocated. LAPD has released this photo of the accident. Sad.

So, there you have it. Carl Lewis may have died too. Except he didn't.

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(* JW pulled this news from his keester)

All of the sudden, I really really want one of these.

It is with a sad hand and heavy heart (and a damn cute picture), that I have come to announce that.....

Item! In Ohio a woman was brought downtown to the precinct to answer questions about a local murder. She was answering the copper's inquiries when, all of a sudden, a freaking squirrel popped out of her cleavage. The lady had a baby squirrel tucked in her boobies. You know, as you do.



There's a "snug as a squirrel in a hooters" joke in here somewhere but I can't seem to find it.

Both the woman and the very comfy squirrel were released without incident.

Ed McMahon kicked off the celebrity death toll last week but has yet to be been given the proper send off. McMahon, in case you didn't know, spend decades on the couch next to Johnny Carson playing second fiddle and being the butt of Johnny's jokes.

Now you get to give Ed the chance he never had. Caption this photo with your best beat down, rank out, bitch slap at (the great) Johnny Carson. Put words in Ed's mouth and let him tell the good joke. For once.

Best caption wins a YBNBY T-Shirt!...."Hi-Oh!"

A smarter than the average bear, with a hell of a sweet tooth, left the safety of the park and its scrumptious picnAnic baskets and decided to try a little breaking and entering.

San Antonio Heigh Police say the bear, (lets call him Yogi, no relation to me) busted into a home and tore into the refrigerator to gobble up a 2-pound box of chocolates.

When the surprised homeowners arrived, they found the bear in their kitchen. Immediately the couple turned tail and called for help.

The bear, quick on his paws, took this cue to make a clean getaway.
He has yet to be caught, though he was unsuccessful at opening a bottle of champagne.

Asked why the bear didn't go for the couples honey jar a local ranger replied, "Honey? That's Pooh!"

So beware California, the bears are coming for your Godiva!

Thanks KTLA

I'm sure it was a great idea for Russian energy giant Gazprom to form a joint venture with Nigeria's state operated NNPC. I'm sure a lot of research went into the venture, it's affects on the economy, the environment, and the energy crisis. With all that research, wouldn't they have determined that, perhaps, calling the new company "Nigaz" wasn't the best idea? More on the story here.