Well, another holiday has come and gone, and now we can turn our attention to the next big weekend event. But I'm not talking about Memorial Day weekend. No, I'm focused on June 20th, because that's the day the World Naked Bike Ride comes to Central Park.
What's the Naked Bike Ride, you ask? Well, I first read about it back in March. The ride started in Australia, and will make it's way through Manhattan a little more than a month from now. Apparently, its purpose is to "expose the naked consequences we face due to dependence on oil". But if the city actually lets this thing happen, you can count on a world record being set for the number of cameras in Central Park in one afternoon. And I have to think YesButNo will deploy the entire staff for the occasion.
So, since learning of the ride, I've come to realize there must be other naked sporting events held around the world, some in support of worthwhile causes, and some held simply as an excuse to get naked. And wouldn't you know it...I found ten. (obviously, some links NSFW)
10) Strip Poker
Ok, this first one is more of a spectator event that a sport. But this whole list is pretty silly anyway, isn't it? So what the heck. There seem to be strip poker tournaments all over the world, so you could probably go to one, if you wanted. Or, you could just get a twelve pack and some friends, and have your own. But I doubt you'll break the attendance record. That happened in London. (I love that players get a towel to sit on at these tournaments...claaassy)
9) Naked Yoga
More fitness activity than sporting event, really. Naked yoga has been around for a while, but I bet it has it's drawbacks. You remember the Seinfeld episode where he's dating a nudist, and she coughs. Yeah, it could get ugly, real quick. But on the plus side, less workout clothes to wash. And plenty of naked yoga sites all over the web, if you prefer to do your stretching at home.
8) Naked Skiing
Great line from Caddyshack..."I like skinny skiing...going to bullfights on acid" Lacey Underall was a trendsetter, and I've got the links to naked skiing sites to prove it. (it's big in Europe) There's also the water kind...Richard Branson gave that a shot recently.
7) Nude Volleyball
Why am I not surprised the naked volleybal site is based in Southern California? Why doesn't Utah ever try anything like this? Although, the naked volleyball association appears to be in Asia, somewhere. So it has become an international phenomenon. Actually, I started this list with volleyball in mind. Whenever you see a list of naked athletes, there's always one or two volleyball players in the group...they're wacky.
6) Naked Running
This is a pretty broad category. There's marathon, cross country, heaven help us...the 100 meter dash. (please, no hurdles) Let's just say there are alot of runners out there, flapping all over the place as they cross the finish line. Here's a site for a naked race in Pamplona, if the bulls just don't quite do it for ya.
5) Miniten (Naked Tennis)
This one has a cute little name...Miniten. It's big in Europe, (actually, alot of the naked sports stuff is big in Europe) especially with naturists, which I guess is the Audoban society translation for naked people. Here I thought naturists were people that watched birds. Turns out to be the birthday suit club. But I digress...here's a miniten site.
4) Naked Bowling
Ok, words that should never go together for two hundred, Alex...family reunion and hookup...Kentucky and grilled chicken...Fox and fair and balanced...and NAKED and BOWLING. Good heavens, what level of Dante's inferno did this unholy practice originate in? Do they have league nights? Do they get ball burns? Do they still wear the shoes? So many questions that I never want the answers to. One look at this guy should be enough to keep you from ever trying this yourself. let's move on.
3) Nude Skating (Inline, Speed, Figure...whatever)
Skates and nudity seem to go hand in hand. I've found figure skaters in the buff, inline skaters in the buff, and speed skaters in the buff. Was there any nudity in that Will Ferrell skating movie? I'm not sure, but I slept through most of it. Maybe it could've used some.
2) Strip Chess
For the intellectual perv in the audience. This one is definitley unique. Strip chess falls into the category of strip games, which include checkers, yatzee and monopoly. (I tried strip fooseball once. I was buying ice packs for three days) Sandra Bullock played a little in the movie, Two Weeks Notice, and I've found a bunch of instruction sites for the game, so it must be fairly popular. To play, you take off one piece of clothing for every piece taken by your opponent. Seems simple enough...could be a fun competition for the next meetup.
1) Australian Naked Beach Olympics
And we end where the Naked Bike Race began. So, what is it with Australians and not wanting to keep their clothes on? Doesn't anyone layer anymore? The Naked Beach Olympics is held every January 26 (Australia Day) at Maslin Beach, with hundreds of beach-goers competing in events including the nude 3 legged race (funny), discus and best bum competition. But the fun doesn't stop there. Apparently, the naked olympics bug has hit the US, as San Francisco held their own version of the games this past October. Events included racing, volleyball and sumo wrestling (naturally). How long do you think it will be before Bravo picks it up and turns it into a reality show? And you know what, I'll probably watch.