From The Sports/80's Movies Desk...
Hardly a week goes by where I don't sneak in a Teen Wolf joke somewhere. Just a few weeks ago I was helping a beautiful girl move here in Gotham. They had a van packed to the brim. Not knowing where I could sit I said, "'I'll just surf on the top like Stiles in Teen Wolf." Laughter erupted. They were loving it.
The NBA has been running some melodramatic but admittedly cool playoff spots. They feature the usual cast of characters, Lebron, D-Wade, KG, CP3 and Kobe. However, there was a noticeable hooper missing. Michael J. Fox, the 4 foot 9 uncoordinated point guard for the Beacon Town Beavers. This has been remedied.
Roll the clip, Raoul!
Fantastic. Maybe the worst basketball ever put on film is featured in Teen Wolf. Nobody could play. The fat guy who is Francis in Pee Wee's Big Adventure may have not attempted a jumpshot before the director called "action." Other horrible hoops culprits include the ridiculous Ed Norton dunk in American History X. (I was so disgusted I wanted to walk out of the theater.) And Fresh Prince dunking on a 7 foot rim.
Bill Simmons was kind enough to point us in the direction of this video. Simmons is the best sports writer in America. If you love sports, you should be reading his column.
Hardly a week goes by where I don't sneak in a Teen Wolf joke somewhere. Just a few weeks ago I was helping a beautiful girl move here in Gotham. They had a van packed to the brim. Not knowing where I could sit I said, "'I'll just surf on the top like Stiles in Teen Wolf." Laughter erupted. They were loving it.
The NBA has been running some melodramatic but admittedly cool playoff spots. They feature the usual cast of characters, Lebron, D-Wade, KG, CP3 and Kobe. However, there was a noticeable hooper missing. Michael J. Fox, the 4 foot 9 uncoordinated point guard for the Beacon Town Beavers. This has been remedied.
Roll the clip, Raoul!
Fantastic. Maybe the worst basketball ever put on film is featured in Teen Wolf. Nobody could play. The fat guy who is Francis in Pee Wee's Big Adventure may have not attempted a jumpshot before the director called "action." Other horrible hoops culprits include the ridiculous Ed Norton dunk in American History X. (I was so disgusted I wanted to walk out of the theater.) And Fresh Prince dunking on a 7 foot rim.
Bill Simmons was kind enough to point us in the direction of this video. Simmons is the best sports writer in America. If you love sports, you should be reading his column.
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I'm with Dicknose
if memory serves, that's what one of Stiles' shirts said and I loved it. I've always wanted that shirt...hmmm
Interesting Moovie:)
Simmons is good, very good, but I would not go so far to call him the best sports writer in America, mostly on the grounds that he is a gigantic douche, but he can be entertaining at times.
Other runners up for atrocious playing: Celtic Pride and Juwanna Mann.
Am I remembering correctly, but don't they play COLLEGE basketball in "The Air Up There" in QUARTERS? I've blotted that aberration from my mind.
"The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh," unfortunately, has unlaughably boring basketball scenes (none has entertainingly bad as Teen Wolf, sadly.)
Those are good Swayze. I tried to find, but couldn't, the footage of the undercover coppers from 21 Jump Street playing ball. I remember laughing my head off watching it. It was horrendous.
Jerry, I deleted your comment for the use of a racial slur and overall stupidity.
JW
I'm a big fan of Simmons too. Dig the podcast. Read his book on the Red Sox.
Don't share his movie tastes for the most part though. I mean, I liked Karate Kid, he's a nut about it. Not that theres anything wrong with that...
I remember liking the Fish that Saved Pittsburgh. It was a while ago so it could actually suck.
Didn't see Juwanna Man. It sounds like it might be bad enough to be good - with a few drinks.
JW, good call....thanks for bringing some class to the joint...I missed his comment, for which I am grateful.
Jerry just wrote me a love note saying what I can do to myself in very colorful language and called me a "sanctimonious asshole." Good times. Love riling up the bigots.
E, I think Simmons embraces the lovability and badness of 80's movies like Teen Wolf and Karate Kid. Films that would never get made today. Karate Kid references are usually pretty funny. My favorite thing in Karate Kid is that Mr. Miyagi is the maintenance man at the apartment complex and the place is a dump. The pool is a petri dish, the joint is a shambles. Then his home is like a golf course/theme park. Miyagi was slacking on the job if you ask me.
I love Karate Kid. But I would never say it's a good film. However, lest we forget, Pat Norita was nominated for an Academy Award for his portrayal of Kesuke Miyagi. That's right, Miyagi's first name is Kesuke.
You know, I've never heard the word "sanctimonious" used in any other context.
I do not think that word means what Jerry thinks it means.
I also have some suggestions for what you can do to yourself in colorful language:
Dear Johnny "Gervais" Wright,
You really ought to get out more, treat yourself to a little sun. Maybe get a GOLDEN TAN. Or shut yourself up in cozy quarters and tickle yourself PINK. Maybe marry an heiress, become a BLUE-blood. Your monkey-centered research is keeping YesBut in the BLACK, so I hope you are being paid in wheelbarrows of SILVER.
Not having read Jerry's latest love-letter, I can't be certain, but I think we both agree: you deserve the best.
DSB
Awww...he loves you! Gotta love anyone who isn't creative enough to stir up stuff w/o bringing race and religion into it...
DSB...well, one writer managed to do it, from what I saw in an online dictionary...
ADJECTIVE:
Feigning piety or righteousness: "a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg that looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity" (Mark Twain).
I think we have found the new YBNBY catch phrase...."You SOI you!!!"
Hang on DSB, writing this down...
P.S. - Best Supporting Actor 1984 was botched through and through, by the way. There is no reason why Haing Ngor should have been in the category - for God's sake, he carried "Killing Fields", and should have won in the Best Actor category, beating the living hell out of F. Murray Abraham (who, if anything, should have been nom'd in a supporting role.)
Of course, that was way back when movies that people had seen got nominated for awards. I'm going to wear an onion on my belt in protest.
1984 Awards: Corrected -
Best Picture: A Soldier's Story (nominated) instead of Amadeus. Also Blood Simple (not nominated) should have been nominated.
Best Actor: Haing Noir (nominated Supporting) instead of F. Murray Abraham. Also, Steve Martin should have been nominated for his portrayal of Lily Tomlin in "All of Me."
Best Actress: Kathleen Turner (not nominated) in Romancing the Stone instead of Sally Field for "Places in the Heart." Also, Mia Farrow probably should have been nominated for what she did in "Broadway Danny Rose."
Best Supporting Actor: Adolph Caesar for Soldier Story (nominated) instead of Haing Noir. Pat Morita really should have got it, though, because Caesar appears in about 75% of the movie, too. Also, Robert Preston should have gotten nominated for reprising his role of Professor Harold Hill in, of all places, "The Last Starfighter."
Best Supporting Actress: Peggy Ashcroft (winner) - the only one they got right, but Glenn Close (The Natural - Yick) should have been bumped for Darryl Hannah in Splash.
Whew. Do you know how long this has been bugging me?
Places in the Heart. I could never get past the Sally Field running around during the depression thing. How much fun could that possibly be? Norma Rae I kinda liked.
"but Glenn Close (The Natural - Yick) " True Dat.
DSB, I totally agree with you on Noir. An awesome acting job in a very moving film. If anyone out there hasn't seen this movie, add it to your queue.
DSB, my guess would be 25 years?
Tim's right about the Killing Fields. The only reason why Soldier's Story tops it, I think, for the Best Picture Oscar is because the former had a wider range of excellent acting, and the Killing Fields made a subtle, but critical soundtrack error at the climax.
The embrace at the end of Killing Fields is iconic, but the song that plays over it is unintentionally ironic and misplaced.
Dith Pran has made it through a nightmare regime where posessions are outlawed, religion is illegal, thoughts of heaven is "mindcrime", where there was, quite literally, almost nothing to live for except the day (year zero), and the audience is asked in song to imagine "no heaven, no possessions, no religion?"
That song choice always struck a shockingly bad chord with me, even as tears ran down my eyes when Dith reunites with the humbled Sydney Schanberg. And that's why Soldier's Story wins. It gets the ending perfectly right.
But if you haven't seen Killing Fields, do so. It really is a great film, regardless of the song choice. [Last time I watched it, I potted down the last scene after the dialog and turned up Solsbury Hill. It worked much better.]
Jerry just fired off 3 separate messages. All in a huge font to really drive his point home. They were:
"I hate Teen Wolf and the Karate Kid! Hey Johnny, are you black?"
"Way to go, DRB! That little ass Johnny must be black to be as bigoted as he is!"
Yeah, he got the initials a little wrong Swayze. And,
"I never use a word that I don't know the meaning of, you racist (against white people) fag."
We've come a long way America!
ahh...that's what happens when you allow inmates to have internet access...
Clearly Jerry Lewis doesn't think much of you and your literary skills, Johnny.
I'll bet the midgets posting sent him over the edge.
I don't know if anybody here knew this, but I think it's in the final scene of teen wolf but there is a dude in the crowd at the end of the ball game that whips his schlong out. They totally missed it in the editing. It's not hard to catch if you watch for it.
It's kind of funny that Teen wolf's popularity will outlast the Seattle Supersonics.
Johnny, I think you should let Jerry comment, It could turn into another 911 conspiracy comment section.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27iccX8Gm_M
Here it is, I guess he doesn't whip it out, he just messes with it.
Dave, why are you scouring 80's movies for surrepititious dong footage?
because he works as a body double and wanted to draw attention to his own package....
Come on E, I thought everybody, knew about the Teen Wolf Dong footage.
Johnny, did you know about it?
Dammit Dave. You leave the Sonics out of this.
The Teen Wolf wiener flash may be the biggest gaff in movie history. More glaring than the LA skyline seen in the distance in High Noon, the Stormtrooper whacking his head in Star Wars and the gas cylinder on the chariot in Gladiator. You flash your wang, I think it trumps those mistakes.
You mean leave the Oklahoma City Thunder out of this right????
Dammit Dave! Not cool.
By the way, this same video was featured on ESPN.com today.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/thelife/news/story?id=4137873
ESPN = Loyal 77?
Or maybe Simmons just sent the link to the editors.
Like the end scene of Teen Wolf, the Legacy of the Seattle Supersonics will just be a flash of the dong.
Some people will remember it, most will not notice it, and eventually all will forget it. Just a little insignificant blurp in the annals of history.
JW, head over the forum...
just saying...
(to the forum)
Jeez, Jerry. Don't do me any favors.
I'm thinking that Jerry didn't bother to lurk and figure out the case of characters before he started flinging the crazy feces....
Is this jerry? or one of Jerry's Kids? Sorry i missed all the fun everyone. I hate it when i don't get a shot at the real Douchebags...
(cast of characters)