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Lets Drink Our Way Out of this Recession

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From the YBNBY Foreign Affairs Wire...

"Local government officials in China have been ordered to smoke nearly a quarter of a million packs of cigarettes in a move to boost the local economy during the global financial crisis." (Thanks Telegraph)

Well done China.
Brilliant.

With this mandatory government edict you are:
1. Promoting local industry.
2. Keeping jobs.
3. Increasing tax revenue and consumer spending.
4. Creating desire and need for your product.
5. Insuring early death for an already overpopulated area.

Folks, China is doing it right. They are forcing people to spend money on local products. A plan that will definitely help improve their economy.

America needs to follow. I call on the elected officials in Congress and President Obama to immediately:
A: Lower the drinking age to 18.
B: Mandate a 2 drink minimum on all orders in bars, clubs and restaurants.
C: Mandate that every American of drinking age consume at least 1 alcoholic beverage per day. Or 7 drinks per week.
(Alcoholics would be required to drink Non-Alcoholic beer and/or tonic, seltzer or club soda.)
D: Promote American made liquor. Lower taxes on all American made spirits, wine and beer while increasing those on imported brands.
E: Vastly increase the fines for drunk driving.

This should improve the economy, save jobs and keep us all drunk.
Happy Days are here again!

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24 Comments

Who is Baierman and what is he good for. Is he an illegal immigrant? Is he gay?
Is he a human being?

said Jerry on May 5, 2009 5:26 PM.

Change we can believe in.....let's make college towns especially recession proof....some campuses used to have bars on them--changing the drinking age to 18 would make this possible again.

said sarcastic one on May 5, 2009 5:28 PM.

Baierman is good for not much but also a whole lot.
A US citizen. (Unfortunately for America)
Straight.
Human, except for that one night in Corfu.

said Baierman on May 5, 2009 5:31 PM.

I'm doing my bit.

said E on May 5, 2009 5:33 PM.

I've been hearing about micro-distilleries here in CO that have some intriguing offerings. I will check into them for the good of the country.

said E on May 5, 2009 5:59 PM.

"YBNBY Foreign Affairs Wire..." That's hilarious.

said Johnny Wright on May 5, 2009 6:19 PM.

Yay a flamer!!!(in more ways than one i assume)

My favorite Snack....

said Sheriff Pablo on May 5, 2009 6:21 PM.

hic!
I'm so partiotic! pay-tiotric...
I love the U.S.
hic!

said sarcastic one on May 5, 2009 6:22 PM.

Rollin' Down the street, smokin Indo...

and sippin on THE AMERICAN DREAM BABY!!!!!

also gin and juice...

said Sheriff Pablo on May 5, 2009 6:48 PM.

I was going to say that I'm helping because I'm drinking a Bud, but I have just remembered that it's now Belgian-Brazilian...
I'll buy me a pack of Miller and help you guys.

Jerry? The mouse? Springer? Seinfeld? Garcia? Which Jerry are you?

said Leonardo Carvalho on May 5, 2009 7:00 PM.

I think Miller is foreign owned now too.

Coors maybe the only big brewer left.
And Sam Adams.

said Baierman on May 5, 2009 9:14 PM.

I think Coors is like in conglomeration with Molson. Drink real local. Try Fat Tire. PBR, Rolling Rock....

said E on May 5, 2009 9:18 PM.

Unfortunately, I can't find any of those down here... I'll try and look for 'em.

said Leonardo Carvalho on May 5, 2009 9:39 PM.

Do we have any Texans out there?

If so, I'd blog your praises for some Shiner.

said Baierman on May 5, 2009 10:16 PM.

Any Brazilian brews I can get up here? Aside from Bud? Any local faves? One of the liquor stores in my neighborhood is run by a couple and the lady is from Peru and they have a couple of Peruvian bottles on display but not for sale. Too bad. Variety is the spice of life....

said E on May 5, 2009 10:25 PM.

Old Style, baby. From the land of sky-blue waters.

Wait, nevermind, that means it must be an import.

said Tim on May 5, 2009 10:43 PM.

Colt .45...Nothing says american like dirt cheap malt liquor.

Rolling rock is good too

said Sheriff Pablo on May 5, 2009 11:24 PM.

Shlitz, Iron City, Lone Star. We got some variety..

said E on May 5, 2009 11:46 PM.

Milwaukee's Best, Olympia, Lienenkugal's.

said Tim on May 6, 2009 12:00 AM.

Can we talk about the provided image for a sec? I don't think I've ever seen anything quite as pathetic as a grown man doing a keg stand off a mini-keg.

said Marion Cobretti on May 6, 2009 9:19 AM.

we're in a recession--they couldn't afford a full keg.

if things get much worse, they'll be using the keg shaped Heineken cans.

said sarcastic one on May 6, 2009 9:47 AM.

Hell... I took a look around here and the only American brand down here is Bud... That isn't yours anymore...
So, unless one of you guys send me a sample, I can't be helpful...

For the good Brazilian brands, you must try if you find one of those: Baden Baden, Devassa or Colorado. Pick any of those and I grant you won't regret.

said Leonardo Carvalho on May 6, 2009 9:51 AM.

In my hood, we can get Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Indian. I don't know that I've run into South American brews. I'll definitely keep my eye out.

said E on May 6, 2009 4:14 PM.

I can't understand... Here I can get Japanese, Chinese, name a European country and you have it, Mexican and even Canadians. But no Americans.

Those brands I recommended are from small breweries, maybe you can find Brahma, Skol or Kaiser, which are part of international breweries groups. Not that I recommend them...

said Leonardo Carvalho on May 6, 2009 4:21 PM.
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