Times Square really used to be a den of iniquity. It was what you saw in Midnight Cowboy and Taxi Driver. A lurid and crime-ravaged area full of drugs, prostitution and danger. Freaking Thunderdome. Since Rudy Giuliani led a full-scaled revamp of the place, it now resembles a shopping mall/theme park.

Though Times Square is now a mecca for vacationing families in fanny packs to get their picture taken with hobos that have a sign that says "Why lie, I need a beer," a few blocks outside the Crossroads of the World can still be a little dodgy.

That is where I took the picture above. "GOING OUT FOR BUSINESS." Uh, didn't one person at the sign printers put a call in to the porn shop and ask if that's really what they wanted to say? You're leaving the area to look for bidness then coming back? You mean "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS," no? We didn't proof this sucker before it was 25 feet of stupidity for all on 8th Avenue to see?

The other vexing question here is why was this place open at 6:47 in the AM. Lot of shady pervs that need to purchase nipple clamps before breakfast? No such purchase should be made before 11:00.

There is no end to the amusement the internet can bring. Previously, I thought we'd hit the apex once YouPorn came out and everything that came after would be pictures of cats with various foods placed on them. And yet, like finding the secret Warp-Zone on level 1-2 ... the world is bigger than you think.

What I've done is taken well known song lyrics, run them through Google Translator and then changed them back into English. These were the results.

From the YBNBY Brussels Anti-Doping Bureau...

The obvious happened today at the Belgian Bodybuilding Championship.

Doping officials showed up to drug test the competitors and all 20 competitors fled.

Yup. Rather than pee in a cup, every bodybuilder bolted as fast as their vein-popping, oiled-up, spray-tanned bodies could carry them.

A doping official said the, "bodybuilders just grabbed their gear and ran off when he [the tester] came into the room."

I hope someone got this on video because seeing 20 beefy dudes in spandex running for their lives is just hilarious.

Surely this event does wonders for the reputation of the sport.

Via Globe Sports

This is the most disturbing news I've heard since hearing New Kids on the Block were touring this summer. A man, high on PCP, ate one of his four year old son's eyeballs out and damaged the other beyond repair. But don't worry, Dad, who is wheel-chair bound, attempted to cut his own leg off with an ax. Adding to the horror is this quote from Bakersfield Now:

The boy's mother was partially a witness to the incident. She said Friday that she was delivering pizza to the apartment when she heard her son screaming for help and decided to leave.

Decided to leave? Trust me when I say the details of the crime are highly disturbing. This just further supports my point that everyone needs to pass a series of tests, background checks, and psychological checks before being given permission to have children.

(Via BoingBoing)

I learned a new term today...

Heteropaternal Superfecundation: when a woman gives birth to babies that have different fathers.

2 eggs fertilized by 2 different dudes. Rare but possible, as it turns out.

Case in point...
Mia Washington's sons arrived seven minutes apart. But after a few months her boyfriend thought the boys had very different facial features.
Tests were done and doctors concluded "an overwhelming 99.999% chance" the twins were born to different fathers.

Strike that, they're not twins but rather half-brothers.

Since the discovery, Mia Washington admitted her infidelity to her boyfriend and father to one of the boys. He's forgiven her and has vowed to stay with Mia and raise both boys. Ms. Washington, meanwhile, plans to tell the boys about their genetic differences when they're older. She has no plans however to tell the other father.

I guess she figured once the story gets on the nightly news and spreads to the web, he'll figure it out himself. In which case our next post about this may be entitled "Heteropaternal Superfecundation Lawsuit."

I can also guarantee that this subject will be featured next season on one of those pseudo-medical TV shows - Greys Anatomy, Private Practice, etc.

Via Telegraph

He's Stefan Georgiev.
The Eddie Van Halen, the Kirk Hammett, the Joe Satriani of accordion.

Boy can he shred.
With or without the back up dancers