...and are pretty damn entertaining even if you're not.
(For maximum effect, wait until the clock strikes 4:20 before clicking through.)
Hanna Barbera, 1970
In typical Squaresville, USA "Do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do" rhetoric, this spot's creators ask America's youth to ignore their own bread and butter -- the obviously cannabis-fueled antics of a scruffy burnout and his talking dog -- and just say "no." Or, "whoa." Or something.
Devlin, Rock Magician
Because if anyone knows a thing or two about being cool, it's magicians. Especially "Rock" ones.
I wonder if Scaramouch ever wore a shirt like that during his act back in the day....
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Dorks? Huh? Who's the one who likes to play dress-up and smells like raw sewage, Mr. Talking Reptile?
I would argue that weed dealers who actually go out of their way to not only deliver their wares (thereby sparing you 90 minutes of sitting on their couch pretending to like their shitty band's demo tape), but to also pre-roll your joints, demonstrate a level of service and professionalism that is sorely lacking in today's market.
Theo Huxtable Turns into a Snake
"Today's secret word is...CRACK!"
I remember being pretty confused in the late '80s when Pee Wee Herman, star of a subversive, adult-oriented spoof of hokey children's TV shows, was awarded an actual children's TV show, on Saturday mornings, no less.
This PSA continues the cycle of confusion -- isn't Pee Wee sort of "not cool" by definition? Were we supposed to want to emulate him? Or was he actually doing a subversive spoof of hokey anti-drug PSAs?
Dude, I need a bong hit, pronto.
This one gets points for its raw, unflinching portrayal of a gritty urban nightmare that had thus far merely been suggested by "gangsta" recording artists like Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.
This one spent years languishing on the shelf of a dusty church basement and/or Zeke Zimbinski's acting demo reel, until the industrious souls at Everything is Terrible! liberated it for the world's enjoyment.
We're Not Candy!
Who needs a pet rock when Dad's heart medicine is so much more cute and friendly?
(I wonder how many people, as a direct result of this PSA, still select "Captopril 12.5 mg" as the answer to the password security question, "What was the name of your first pet?")
Whoa. I am never getting my inflatable doll high again.
Hey, who do you think would win in a fight, Flat Girl or Smushed Girl?
Hey, you got any cookie dough?
Hannibal + Blow = This
(WARNING: This one's kinda icky!)
PRO: Apparently New Zealand has the cleanest public restrooms in the world.
CON: Soylent White is made of people! Peeeeeopllllle!